I'm working on a piece where the character is suppose to be giving off a creepy... unnerving.... feeling as the character checks out the second character that just walked in. The first character is a very dark crazy-pyscho... murderous character and he just came face to face with a petit girl that he just found was the one sending him letters about knowing what he did. The boy-17 The girl-16 So, like I said, I'm stuck with words as I can't seem to get that creepy-dark piece of him across that he's dangerous and that girl shouldn't have come out to meet him at midnight alone.
This is a matter of 'show, not tell'. The best way of showing is through the girl's discomfort towards what may be advances or otherwise coming from the lad. Have the boy not take his eyes off her. Be subtle, not obvious, and build the scene slowly. The boy should say things which are relatively normal, but with an underlying menace to them, perhaps through his actions. Describe his body language. Describe her reactions to what's taking place.
And don’t forget dramatic irony. It is effective at creating that creepiness. You may be able to make the reader know what this guy may be about, but keep her in the dark about it.
