Hi all, I'm new to the forum. Looks like a great group and I look forward to "meeting" you all! After living the past few decades in a real-life movie of the week—with one truly unbelievable adversity after another—and after much prodding from friends and family (especially my therapist!) I've finally decided to attempt penning my memoir. My biggest obstacle is there are things that I've had to shield my 15 year old son from that would be very traumatic for him to learn about at this stage. In addition, I would be including details about my in-laws and my husband that would be quite embarrassing and humiliating if real names and places were used. I'm not in a financial position to afford a ghostwriter, and I could obviously use a pen name, but then how would I ever be able to promote and market the book myself? Would love to hear any suggestions you all might have. Thanks so much!
Why do you want to write a memoire? Who are you writing it for? Maybe you could write it as a piece of fiction, use false names, write it in third person, ... ?
Thanks, Joanna. I want to write the memoir for a few reasons. First, as a cathartic and cleansing process for myself, and secondly, to hopefully provide inspiration, encouragement, and hope to others facing adversities in their life, to convey the message that with the right attitude and outlook you can overcome what might look like impossible obstacles. God has given me the gift of amazing strength and resiliency to the point where I sometimes question whether I have bionic body (and mind) parts! LOL. It's my hope to share that strength with others who so desperately need it through my story.
Beg pardon for pointing out the obvious, but what does your husband think of your intentions? There was one hell of a row over here because of a book written by a scorned man about his ex-girlfriend, who went to court over it (and I believe won?). While she was anonymized in the book, the details of the story were so obvious that identification was easy. So I would advise to be careful not to include anything you could be sued over.
Thanks, Porcupine, words well heeded. Another reason why I must give a lot of thought as to how to approach this. My husband is aware that I have intent of doing this and isn't really opposed to it, but he may feel differently once it's in black and white. I'm not at all a fiction writer so it would be a real struggle for me to attempt writing a fact-based fictitious memoir. One thought was to launch an anonymous blog and use that as a spring-board to get a an idea of interest in such a memoir, and get feedback from readers as to how they'd like to see the story evolve. Of course the big question is how I would draw people to the blog without revealing my identity?
Write it now. It will take at least a year to write it and probably a least another year, probably more before it reach the market. If it reach the market. Then you son will be closer to 18, and perhaps you could consider telling him then. Or write it now but don't try to publish it before you feel ready.
if you don't want your family to know about it, you wouldn't... as suggested above, go ahead and write it for its cathartic value and don't even think about having it published till you're finished... you may find you no longer need to or want to go public with it by then... at that point, you should consult your therapist again about whether going public is advisable, given your then-present family situation... things change over time, so now is not the time to be worrying about what will happen to the book, when you haven't even written it yet... i've helped several of my mentees write their memoirs and even rewrote an entire book for one lady who later decided she didn't need to publish it, that it was helpful enough just knowing she'd gotten it all out and in good enough shape to be published, if she ever changed her mind... love and healing hugs, maia
