1. alittlehumbugcalledShe

    alittlehumbugcalledShe Active Member

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    How do you all cope with times when literally everything seems to be going wrong?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by alittlehumbugcalledShe, Feb 5, 2021.

    I don't know whether it's the February weather or something, but almost everything I've worked on in the last day or so has gone to hell.

    A list, if I may:
    (1) I was reading Charles Dickens last night, picked up my own work to edit this morning, and screamed in aject horror at the comparison.
    (2) I have since done no editing today at all.
    (3) I got rejected for a really great acting role today that I thought I might have a good chance of getting.
    (4) I was working on acting stuff this evening afterwards, and suddenly I have the emotional range of a potato. Which was NOT the focus of the exercise.
    (5) A relative died of Covid last night.
    (6) The guy I like is now actively dating one of my friends and is telling everyone about it. Massive bummer.
    (7) My bass guitar fell on me at like 4am when I was trying to sleep.

    Any advice, folks? I tried dancing around my room to an extensive list of musical numbers like a nutjob, but it doesn't seem to have worked.

    I could try yelling into the void, but idk if that would fix my problems :D
     
  2. Lifeline

    Lifeline South. Supporter Contributor

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    Go writing. Almost everything can get fixed (temporarily) by writing.
     
  3. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

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    Yelling into the void can't hurt, in my experience. Unless, perhaps, the void is in the general direction of your neighbors and it's 3 AM.

    On the Dickens comparison--doesn't mean anything. Do you want to write in the style of Dickens? Is there any reason to do so? If not, comparisons with Dickens are irrelevant. Also, you may not write or edit every day. That's OK. You're allowed to not do those things, especially when you have a lot going on in life.

    I don't know anything about acting or the nocturnal movement of bass guitars, so I can't help there.

    I'm sorry for the loss of your relative. That's rough and I think you should allow some time for self-care or whatever you have to do to stay healthy and happy despite the state of the world generally.
     
  4. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Well, take some time to grieve considering that is a pretty important,
    if not the most important thing on your list of things. Everybody does
    it differently, so if you have someone to talk to that you're close too
    would be a good way to help with that.

    As for the guy thing, let it go, sounds like it wouldn't be worth it to
    you to stress out about someone who acts that way. Just don't let
    it ruin your friendship.

    That is a bummer that you didn't get the acting thing, but there will
    always be more opportunities to try other gigs.

    Bass guitar falling on you, not that bad. I cracked myself in the eye
    socket with the back of the body of one once, and that hurt like a
    MF.

    Writing is writing, doesn't have to always be the best, and it is
    a good way to keep the exp. of it, cause you never know what
    you may find in it later.

    Try and keep your mind active and focused on the positive things
    going on, and talking to people that you are close too.

    Take it easy, and I hope you feel better. :supersmile:
     
  5. GraceLikePain

    GraceLikePain Senior Member

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    Well, the first thing is to accept that you can't have everything you want. Some might say you should distract yourself and do other things, but on the day of I generally find that this isn't the best way. Process the information logically, like you're a computer assessing the life of a human. Then think of things you can do to improve your life, or at least make yourself feel better. Give yourself something to look forward to, like, say, going to get bubble tea tomorrow.

    And then, after you've had a nice think, stop. Go do something else and remember that just because you don't have one thing doesn't mean you can't have something better.
     
  6. alittlehumbugcalledShe

    alittlehumbugcalledShe Active Member

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    Yeah, on a second look at that list, it appears that there's QUITE a lot going on at the moment. I think you're right - probably taking a week or two off entirely isn't going to hurt. The world won't be going anywhere.

    It's not that it needs to be in the style of Dickens per se, I just want the stuff I write to be of a similar standard/quality, I think. Like, how do you contribute to the field of literature in a meaningful way, or move it forward significantly, if it doesn't at least equal the standard of what's already been done? (That being said, not every book or piece of writing has to do this (even my writing on here is wayyy different to how I'm writing these books), but it's just really important to me - I'd love to see where the future of literature goes in say, 200 year's time!)

    Normally it's all good and I'm actually getting somewhere, but some days it can be pretty stressful and I feel like there's this metaphorical door, and Dickens and Shakespeare and Hemingway are on the other side having Sunday lunch, and I'm beating on the door and yelling at them to let me in lol.
     
  7. alittlehumbugcalledShe

    alittlehumbugcalledShe Active Member

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    Thanks! Yeah, the guy thing -- we haven't seen each other in a long while now, but he keeps dating people that are weirdly, WEIRDLY, seriously similar to me. Which is actually hilarious if I take a step back. Honestly, it's like some Twelfth Night nonsense or something.

    But you're right, it's probably best to leave them to it and wish them the best :p
     
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  8. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    That's not a door, it's a wall called genius. Maybe 2 people in a generation have it to that level. And that's not something you have any control over—you can't learn and study how to be a world class genius, you either got it or you don't, and if you did the world would know it by now. So settle in, the real party is on this side of the wall, where we're writers or struggling in that direction, because we enjoy it and it brings meaning and accomplishment to our lives.

    Or bang your head endlessly against the massive stone wall and scream "Let me in you bastards!!" :supermad:

    There are plenty of authors who aren't on that level of pure genius that I admire and would be more than happy to be able to come close to or possibly match their ability to weave a spell of words and work that magic on readers (and myself). Why set unreachable goals for yourself? That's just a lose/lose proposition from the beginning that will lead nowhere but heartbreak and grief.

    Hang out over here with the rest of us, watch your skills grow and enjoy the sense of accomplishment and pride as your work keeps improving. There's no need to compare it against any standard, except good competent writing and maybe as far beyond that as your efforts can get you.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2021
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  9. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Oh they can get over their princely selves :p

    At any rate, the important thing is to take care of yourself mentally. If you force yourself to write when you're in a bad place, you might not enjoy it/associate writing with all the negativity you're feeling. I don't know what works for you, it's just something that I noticed about myself. :p

    And don't compare yourself to others. Look at it another way. You're 24. I'm 32. Are you seriously going to compare yourself to a guy whose been alive eight years longer than you? No, why? Because that's stupid. Just like it'd be stupid for me to compare myself to someone whose 40. All we can do is compare ourselves to where we were before and the same is true with writing.
     
  10. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Have a beer.
     
  11. alittlehumbugcalledShe

    alittlehumbugcalledShe Active Member

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    I think I love you.
     
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  12. alittlehumbugcalledShe

    alittlehumbugcalledShe Active Member

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    Although technically, if someone's not yet been published, the world definitely wouldn't know it by now. :p

    Nah, I disagree, I don't really see it that way tbh. I think 99% of the time the trust in your own ability is there, but as a pay-off for how big the attempt is, you do tend to get those sharp cliff-edges of oh-my-goodness-where-am-I-and-what-to-God-am-I-doing.

    In my own case, I'm a pretty intensely driven person anyway, and the way I get meaning from life is by trying to give back, to contribute something of great value in any way that I can. Which can be really useful when you're trying to focus on where you're going. It becomes less about you and your own name and more about the integrity of the work (which is really helpful for such a deeply selfish person like me!). I'm not religious in any way, but this kind of thing is probably the closest thing to religion that I could imagine. For me to just ignore that feeling would actually cause more damage than good. It'd be like, what's the point in life, if I don't do this? So for example, I could never imagine doing something like painting, and not trying to get up there with Degas, Monet, Da Vinci, etc. It would be insane.

    Obviously it's not true for every writer, I seriously would not recommend it because of how unbearable it can get, but I'd probably get extremely depressed if I was writing a random story 'just because' lol.

    Actually, speaking of the 'genius' thing, I don't think it works like that really -- I used to do physics and there were plenty of times where I got that comment from people after discussions or projects, etc. When I switched to do something more artistic instead, I got told I was a 'genius' and a total loss to physics. People were really upset for some reason and I still don't know why. But it made me wonder if people like Newton ever felt that they 'deserved' the term of genius. Most likely judging by his character, he did. I don't really like the word 'genius' anyway (it's just a case of noticing or doing things - sometimes things that were already in the open - that others haven't yet seen or done), but in terms of doing the work that well, it was never just a fluke on my part, it was always a deliberate (sometimes bordering on insane) attempt.

    I don't actually think you could BE the likes of Hemingway, Dickens, Degas, etc. without deliberately trying to be a 'genius'. One thing you could always say about these kinds of people is that they definitely had somewhat of a problem with the Ego :D
     
  13. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Perfectionism is a real bitch, ain't it?
     
  14. ohmiyoni

    ohmiyoni New Member

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    Let's see, when everything goes wrong in my life, I lay down. I have an existential dread. I revisit a game I never beat, watch youtube channels that never end, and be depressed for a week.

    Eventually I have an idea to get up and do something else. And usually, with gusto!

    I'm sorry things are currently getting you down. I won't be the person that says, "aw buck up, kiddo!" Because, well. Sometimes we just have to be sad. I have a mantra I repeat to myself when things are hard, and it's "It'll get better." Just like things get worse, things will get better. I wish you the best :love:
     
  15. Otterley

    Otterley New Member

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    When things go wrong, I favour the ostrich approach: I bury my head in the sand. I keep a large bag of car litter to hand for just such eventualities. Non-cat owners may find it useful to know that certain types of litter (known as 'clumping') are also excellent for absorbing...tears :)
     
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  16. ThunderAngel

    ThunderAngel Contributor Contributor

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    I usually try to fix the things I can fix, and pray about the things I can't fix. Distraction helps too when it comes to the latter. :)
     

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