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  1. Vellanney

    Vellanney Member

    Aug 26, 2019
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    Synopsis Synopsis Critique

    Discussion in 'Query & Cover Letter Critique' started by Vellanney, Aug 27, 2019.

    Here is my synopsis for my book. The book itself is called "Reborn", however it is part of a series I plan to make called "Lost in the Shadows". I tried to give the reader basic information without going into too much details of the inner story line. Please leave any feedback or comments for me to take into consideration.

    Synopsis | Lost in the Shadows: Reborn

    To Jake Karren Common, there is nothing more important than family. Then protecting those whom he shares a special bond with. Whether it be by blood, loyalty, love, or friendship. His family is made up of those he would die to protect, and especially avenge. And after his father is murdered, and his mother commits suicide, Jake hunts down the man that he blames for it all. However, that man was not the only thing he found along the way. Jake soon discovers that what he once thought of as fiction and fantasy is actually reality, and that the world was much bigger and more complicated than he could ever imagine. A world of magic and mystery that he joins after giving up his life to kill his father’s murderer.

    As Jake stays in Heaven after his death, he learns about the creatures on Earth, and the designation of “Bloods.” However, he can’t help but yearn for his family and the life he had before. These overpowering emotions lead him to fall from Heaven. And after becoming a Fallen, Jake becomes the leader of the “Spectrum Rose,” a group dedicated to treating all Bloods equally. A counter to the Bloody Rose, whom seeks to show that only Black Bloods are superior.

    As Jake tries to balance his new life with his old one, he also seeks to allow everyone, including himself, a chance to live a normal life on the side. Working, attending school, and even falling in love. Living life instead of fearing when life would end. A chance so many of his followers never thought they would have. And a loophole that many seek to take advantage of.
  2. Zachary Phoenix

    Zachary Phoenix Member

    Oct 14, 2019
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    Los Angeles
    Odd that this hasn't had any responses after two months of being up...
    I'll start off with a couple little grammatical nitpicks, because I can't help it. "Then protecting those whom he..." It should be "than." Not "then."
    You use the word "whom" twice in this. The first one is fine. The second one: "whom seeks to show that only..." is incorrect. It should be "who."

    Okay, onto the overall. This is a pretty decent blurb. However, it is not a synopsis. A blurb is what you give to the agent in the query letter to get them interested in your story. It's what you would see on the back cover of the book, along with quotes from well known people talking about how much they loved it.
    A synopsis is a detailed run through your story, much longer than a blurb, and describing all the key events in the story, as well as backstory, how it ends, and what the characters are feeling and thinking at each event that causes them to make the decisions they do. I would suggest researching some good synopsis's...synopses... synopsi... and using them as a starting point for yours.
    Good luck. This sounds like a pretty interesting story.

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