I'm wanting to write a scene where my main character visits his mother's grave shortly after becoming a vampire. Just for some background info. My character has had an extremely troubled past, his father was abusive to him and his mother. He's inherited his father's temper and is trying to become a better person but now that he's a vampire, that's even harder than ever. It's suggested earlier that he talks to his mother every time he visits her grave. However, I want to write a scene where it shows him talking to his mother's grave and tells her about becoming a vampire but is still trying to be a decent person. If that's too cliche, I thought maybe he could've written a letter explaining how he feels and places it on the grave? I really want to get this scene right so I'm very grateful for anyone's feedback. Thank you so much.
Hello and welcome to the forum! It's a good forum and I hope you enjoy your time here. As for your question-- it sounds to me like this might be your first draft? And if it is my advice to you is not to ask us what works and to just go write whatever it is you're wanting to write. You'll have a better idea what works and doesn't when you have a completed project to step back and evaluate. My personal philosophy when it comes to writing is 'don't be afraid to edit'. Trust me, if this is your first draft and especially if it's your first story: it's gonna suck. But that's okay! The important part is that you are telling a story you resonate with, in a way that you enjoy telling. Don't be afraid to mess up, to make mistakes, to write something that you might not think is 'good' but it's fun. In more specific advice, talking to a gravestone is a familiar image to me. I really have no problems with the concept, if that's how you want to write this scene-- go forth and write your scene!
I don't think talking to a grave is all that unusual, to be honest. I think lots of people 'talk' to graves when there isn't anybody else around. It wouldn't seem like a cliché if he just went to visit the grave, got thinking about whatever it was going through his mind when he looks down at the grave, then starts to speak ...maybe within his head rather than out loud. And he can progress to 'out loud' if that seems to help him. The thing to focus on is how he feels when he stands there. Is he glad he finally has power, after all those years of powerlessness, watching her get abused, etc? What would he do if his father was still alive? Would that make her happy or not? Is he ashamed, because he thinks she would be ashamed of what he's become? What does he want to tell her? What are his worries? His fears? What does he feel has changed? Would she recognise him now? Is he glad she can't see him? Or does he wish she could see him? Does he think she CAN see him, from the 'other side?' Lots to talk about, really. How did they used to talk to each other when she was alive, and he wasn't a vampire yet? Can you build on that? Subsequent visits will build on that first visit, so don't be afraid to really let go.
Maybe because of his background he's really awkward about it, or feels stupid. Or maybe he's angry at his mom for not leaving his dad, or something. Unless it's at the end of the book, it's probably a better idea for it not to be terribly edifying the first time he does it. Huh...this one time I heard a ghost story of a gravedigger. The gravedigger was approached by a person, and they had a pleasant conversation. Later the digger finds out that it was the person who had actually died, and no, he didn't have a twin. So maybe you could have it so that a person who died recently -- not the mom -- is there to talk to him and maybe pass a message along.
Hi everyone, thank you all for your wonderful suggestions. I will take all of your advice on board. In terms of how I write this speech, would I please write it in italics as I would if he were thinking them? Or would I add speech marks because his speech is targeted at someone even if they aren't really there? I'm quite new to writing. Thank you so much.
Have him sit down, pour a cup of her favorite drink and put it on her gravestone. I would write it as if he was having a conversation with his mother, except you only hear his side of it.
Yup, word it just right and you can trigger the readers imagination trying to figure out the other side of the coin.
