That was probably it, which isn't fair. I'll leave it a bit, maybe give it another shot in a few weeks/months. We were discussing Madame Tussards a while ago, that at least would give us something to talk about.
Of course it's fair. It can happen to anyone equally, and often does. The Universe is fair, by and large, statistically speaking. It may not seem so if you only look at a single occurrence. But if you look at things like this from a broader perspective, it's harder to take it personally, and therefore easier to take in stride. Then you can decide whether to give the Universe another shot at it, or to put it behind you and move on. If it happens to you because you have a misshapen head or an unfashionable skin color, then it's unfair, and that's the time to call foul.
I'm not sure what I meant by 'isn't fair', I think I was saying it was my fault or something. If the opportunity comes up again to ask her out then I'll go for it but I think I butchered up that evening, she probably thought so too
Alton, I'm going to have to agree with Cogito here, but it feels like the chemistry was lacking. If the chemistry was there, even if not much is being said, there would still have been a whole lot of smiling going on. But we only came to this conclusion because we don't know enough about the girl; You do. First dates with a friend are usually a bit awkward like that, right? Maybe that was it. If you still have feelings for the girl, and she seems willing to give it another go, I'd definitely ask her out on another date to see, "What if?" Second time around might be better.
Okay question cuz i just managed to get the gumption to ask this: If you are a girl who has been in school with a lot of guys that harrassed you a lot, but then you moved and began life in a new setting but has low confidence when around guys despite the fact that no one harrasses you in the new school, how do you cope with that? Overall, i am very insecrure aorund guys cuz im plain scared of them (though i act as if I'm a rough-houzer and will get into a fight at a second's notice). Now that i am in high-school and there is a constant pressure to get a boyrfreind or to at least "know" a guy. I don't know what to do and i get very nervous when one of them approaches me. (i end up avoiding eye contact and laughing a lot at the strangest things and i stink at keeping a normal conversation) Any advice on how to handle a situation like that? (Yeah if anyone says i'm a very mixed up gal I won't be surprised)
You get who you think you deserve. Universal fairness? You make you sure feel like you got yours and then you blink and it's over. I guess I like that. I think I want to be happier, and maybe I would be with someone else, but that's not what I think I deserve. Eh. Maybe I can't handle happiness. I guess I'd rather stay blind. At the directly above poster: This is stuff I wish I could say to someone. Not you. Maybe you can't relate: This would help this person wwith insecurity and fitting in with the guys in HS "If you are shy, what are you hiding? What makes you less than someone you admire? Can you become more like the things you admire without losing yourself in the transformation? Take care not to reinvent yourself completely. It's so tiring. Example: (Not you. I don't know you. No one knows more about you than you do IMHO.) Want a good personality? Be honest. Don't lie about your night out. Become literally who you wish you could be, basically everything you might lie about, but only change what you are capable of without losing the emotional impact you feel about being yourself. Make sure you still feel like you exist and matter, and feel that to your full potential. Guys think that looks like the personalities or looks on 90210 sometimes, but confidence takes many shapes and forms to many different kind of men. Don't change everything and reinvent yourself into a fake persona. That is sooo draining and boring. That's acting, but you are your only real audience and you don't appreciate yourself, or you wouldn't be acting like someone you call "someone else". Maybe this is the "real you", this is "real life", and your expectations were not realistic. They were more practical/possible for someone else's life.. If you are still "insecure", figure out what makes you so scared. What are you scared of? What could they find out about you that would embarrass you? Would someone figure out something that would make everyone stop liking you and the boys would judge you?" Okay. That's all I feel like typing that I got on me tonight that reflects the experience I made with 6 high schools in four years. It's probably traumatizing to have to go through stuff like that. I'm traumatized just by stepping on a dead bird a while back. I still am really jumpy. I know what it feels like. I don't know what it feels like to be awkward in most conversations I have with either gender, because I know what is expected of me in the particular situation. If you don't know what to say, do you know what other people would have said? Do you know what you're not supposed to say? Maybe doing the same conversations 6 different times as the "new girl" in high school made me a little less shy than I would have deserved to be if I had stayed at the all-girls prep my mom picked out for me. I think I would have been pretty nervous talking to guys at those dances the other girls seem to look forward to so much. Okay. Now I'm done. High school is dreadful. So glad it's all over. The "high" part should last longer.
Ah! Middle school. Those were the good ole days when I wanted designer glasses and my mom was like, "You no need wear them fancy-shmancy glasses!" so I ended up getting some horrid-looking bifocal things. Anyway, what is there to worry about? You are in a perfectly cozy situation right now. The idiots that messed with you before are gone. Just go with the flow. Remember that there's no need to ooze or fake confidence; Learn to be comfortable with yourself. Do things that will make YOU happy. Don't let your past drag you down. If you're the type who is always comparing yourself to other people/girls, do yourself a favor and stop. Recognize your shortcomings for what they are and try to work on what you can because it does you no good to turn a blind eye to them. But learn to love and treasure yourself for the best in you. First things first, don't give in to the pressure of getting a boyfriend or knowing a guy just because everyone else is doing that, or because you feel left out or alone. You would only be hurting yourself (and maybe the guy you're with) in the long run if you're getting into a relationship for all the wrong reasons. If you like a guy and want to get to know him, that should be your reason for wanting to be with him. Secondly, it's human to be nervous around people, especially those you're interested in. Don't beat yourself up over it if you mess up or say something stupid. If he's the right kind of guy for you, he'll find that part of you endearing. Lastly, I get nervous around guys too. I'm usually pretty honest with them about it though. A guy I liked asked me why I always recoiled in fear whenever he came around, and I told him honestly that he made me nervous, and I wasn't sure why. He didn't find that off-putting at all. That was sort of the "ice-breaker" for us. Once you get past that awkward beginning, you'll find it easier to converse with the person.
heh, thanks guys for the advice. It seems to be helping a bit -though i think im always gonna trip over my own two feet when im around guys (especially the cute ones), but i guess that'll just keep the bad ones away anyways lol
Bad guys sometimes prey on clumsy girls. But I guess you're talking about verbal trips. In which case, just do it. It's a lot of fun once you get the hang of talking to the opposite gender. If he's cute and you're vibing, it's quite a thrill. Worth the struggle with bashfulness in the beginning.
Going on a date with a girl I had no interest in until a couple weeks ago. I think that might be a new record. Here's hoping it goes well.
Make notecards and paint your hands with sweat. If you like her, you'll do fine? Here's hopin. Oooh, think about it and don't write her a sonnet. Post it here instead. WE'll be honest. She might be too. Yikes.
For those interested, the aforementioned date went well, but it all ended a few days later. She started it and ended it leaving me even more confused than ever. Shoulda written her a sonnet.
Write a sonnet anyway - one that expresses your loss and confusion. At least, you'll have GOTTEN a good sonnet out of this, if nothing else.
I'd agree - but a sonnet? Not the form I would choose for disorganized raw emotions. A sonnet is too disciplined a form. Just sayin'
Hit the ground walking at a regular pace. Not sure what this is meant to be, but I guess I'll tell you the woes of a man infatuated. I've always been able to read people well, I can look you up and down then tell you if you were popular in school (easy), if you have siblings (not so easy), your religious views, your job, and even if your parents are still together (difficulty may vary). I'll even go so far as to know exactly the things to say to someone based on their tone of voice in order to get them to open up to me. I've used this skill for good, and once or twice (while in a dark, sad place) for what can only be described as moderate evil. However I am unable to use this ability of mine on a particular person of late. As we all do, I met someone I like. She's funny, cute, and even the same religion as me (basically the main three things I need to start to like someone). She likes me well enough, not romantically, but you know... as much as you like someone you just met. I've gone out with her one on one, danced, and even held her hand (as a utility to cross a crowded room, but still)... but I cant read her at all. There is a very good reason to why she and I shouldn't "like" one another. It's nothing weird like she's married, or her family is at war with mine, but there is a good reason. It's just in spite of that (unmentioned) reason its obvious that I'm taken with her, and for a girl who doesn't "like" me she seems to enjoy getting to know me and spending time together with me... It's confusing, this act of having-feelings-for-another-human that we all do from time to time. I haven't felt this way in a long time... Its nice.
Sounds like she isn't interested, so not sure how that would be nice. Nothing much worse than liking someone that just sees you as a friend, but I hope you work it out. Though that said, if the reason for you not to be together is a valid one, then maybe not. Normally if something feels wrong, it is, but maybe I'm missing your point.
Wondering what this has to do with General Writing. Can't help, but sounds ilke you need an agony aunt.
I note it's your first post. Welcome to the forums. Please take some time to read the rules of the forum, particularly as they pertain to posting work for critique, which is what I suspect this is. When you have met the requirements for posting for critique (which, as yet, you have not), please make sure that you post it in the appropriate section of Writers Workshop and let us know what you are looking for. Also, make sure you post a segment large enough to give a meaningful critique. Good luck.
