Aight, I need your creative opinion. I'm trying to figure out which opening of my fantasy would interest you the most: ------------------------------- Opening #1- A radio changed my life forever. Ever wondered how sometimes the most innocent, simplest, action can cause the greatest catastrophe? <OR> Opening #2- Five minutes. I leave the auditorium for five bloody minutes to take a piss, and the world decides to take a one-way trip to the Three Hells. ------------------------------- The context is that there's a terrorist attack located where the Empress is holding her annual coronation anniversary ceremony, and it's this attack that sparks a world war. Some have said #2 because of comedy, others said #1 because it's more serious and realistic.
Do you think the comedic touch robs the seriousness of the moment? The POV character is lying on the floor of the bathroom with his pants down by his knees.
I don't know that I would flat out assume that going to the bathroom is "comedy" but it does the better job of grabbing you. It's a vulnerable moment wherein the needs of the body must be met at a critical time.
Oh, I didn't know that! Yes, it would make sense. You're in the bathroom, pants down and you're doing your business and at that exact moment, something else happens that requires you do to anything but that. Makes sense. And the snarky dark humor the character pulls is just his way of coping with the insanity.
It's amusing in a way, yes, but it also has a serious undertone to it, which is what I think makes it work. Yes, the immediate situation the MC finds himself in (the pants issue in the restroom) is humorous, but the overall situation (the attack) is quite serious. It's a good hook to lead into a serious story.
I think I prefer the first one. The second one would read a little better for me without the cursing, it feels a bit trying-too-hard.
Damn, didn't know that. How do you know if you're 'trying-too-hard'? The pros of the first one is that it centers around Mishu, the main focus character of the story. The con is that she's...just going to the beach.
I guess it would depend on the tone of your book. Does that hilarious snark of option #2 filter through the entire story? Is the story subdued and serious? If so, the humor would feel quickly out of place. That's the opening that grabbed me though. I could picture it. So funny.
I'd go with it then. With a heavy plot like that, it always helps to have humor along the way. And humor in the opening line will grab everyone. Like the opening of A Monster Calls which is otherwise a soul-crusher. "The monster showed up just after midnight. As they do." It's funny in a way. It gets you curious. And tiny bits of humor like that remain throughout the book.
