1. lonelystar

    lonelystar Active Member

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    Terminal cancer

    Discussion in 'Research' started by lonelystar, Jan 19, 2018.

    As back story one of my characters wife dies with cancer. A quite sudden diagnosis to death situation. I have no experience of cancer at all and was hoping for some basic info on symptoms the person experiences, i.e. headache, nausea. And if possible the feelings the husband would be feeling.

    I know it's a difficult topic to discuss so a big thank to anyone willing to do so.
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    This sounds pretty Googleable.
     
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  3. DITF Ninja

    DITF Ninja Member

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    And even then writing about the loss itself may not be as powerful as writing about the immediate aftermath and the whole left behind when she was gone. I know I have done that before with some pieces when writing about a desease that was otherwise too scientific or too hard to get right without looking at it and calling BS on myself.
     
  4. FifthofAscalante

    FifthofAscalante Member

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    My grandfather died from stomach cancer. We weren’t close, he was an austere man. Ironically, he was the top chef at a locally posh restaurant in Poland. He lost the job after he pushed and shut some obnoxious communist in the fringe. I remember him regretfully saying that he wished he had gone to the doctor a year earlier, when he was to take a car ride somewhere with my uncle, and on the way he kept puking his guts out. By the time he was properly diagnosed it didn’t take long, though I’m sure for him, the weeks he spent utterly bedridden, shitting and puking himself to death, stretched out a lot. It was a race between what got him first, starvation or one of many other aspects of cancer. Though, like I said, we were never close, and by the time he was hospitalised, my parents and I have already emigrated abroad.

    My dad always told me how unhappy my grandparent’s marriage had been. How, over a stupid argument, they wouldn’t speak to each other for long months. Nowadays, my grandmother doesn’t seem regretful about the marriage, she says she’s lonely now that he’s dead, but she never mentions that she misses him specifically. She did say that she wished he was buried closer to where she lives, for convenience. I think they haven’t gotten divorced only because divorce was completely out of the mindset in their time and place, or that rather, they stayed together out of necessity.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2018
    Homer Potvin likes this.
  5. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

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    My father, stepfather and father-in-law all died of cancer (father and stepfather were both lung cancer, FIL was prostate cancer). It really depends on the progression of the disease and the type of cancer. And as far as feelings, it would really depend on the personality of the person as well.

    My dad's was the closest I experienced, as I was living in a different state when the other two died. His first symptoms were body aches, lethargy, and trouble keeping food down. Unfortunately the cancer metastasized very quickly from his lungs into his bones, so he was in a lot of pain. He did 2 rounds of chemo which made him very ill, and after that didn't work they switched over to making him as comfortable as possible until the end. He wound up at home on a hospital bed in my parent's living room pretty much wasting away and completely stoned on heavy opiates most of the time. Hospice was a godsend, but he actually passed at night when it was just my mom and I there. It's the first and thankfully only time I've seen someone die right in front of me.

    He was only 54 years old, only 7 years older than I am now. We had our issues (he was an alcoholic who could be verbally abusive sometimes), but watching him die was pretty much the worst thing I've ever experienced. Cancer sucks.
     
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  6. lonelystar

    lonelystar Active Member

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    Thank you both for sharing very personal and emotional family information.
     
  7. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Sorry, I don't want to make light of cancer or anything, but that's absolute literary gold. As a history major who specialized in modern European systems and a life-long restaurant guy by practice, you just married both halves of my identity.

    Thank you.
     
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