This story is true it happened to me, I witnessed these events as they played out before my eyes. Parts of this are going into my vampire book. Beware all ye who enter here past the point of no return. Welcome to Fright Night. Also if anyone has some more disturbing idea additions to this already disturbing tale I welcome them. I already have a idea planned out that's going to make this shocking event even more shocking. It's possible. Try not to drink anything you might have your beverage of choice shooting out your nose. You've been warned. Listen to this song while you read this story, its the theme song for events that play out. I went to a comic book convention. At that time nearly everything I wore was denim. A Hard Rock Cafe New Orleans denim jacket adorned my shoulders. Jeans, black comic t-shirt, and hiking boots. Two girls stood behind me checking me out, I turned my head slightly noticing them notice me. My girlfriend Glenys from my teenage years, rounds a long table filled with comics. She sees me her eyes lighting up. She screams my name making a mad dash for me. Glenys was very short, 5ft tall. I stand 5'8". She's always been a little sprite of a girl. Which is ironic because she worked at the renaissance festival as an elf, glued on pointy ears and everything. Running full tilt she hurled herself into my arms. I didn't expect to see her there. Surprise covered my face I'm sure. She smiled her broad pixie like grin at me. I couldn't help but smile back and be infected by her infectious overly joyful spirit. She said how good I looked, I told her she looked amazing. I asked her how she was doing, what she was doing at the convention. (Hindsight. She was probably there to buy Elfquest comics. Another irony?) Checking out comics and merch like me. The two girls behind me moved off after witnessing the personification of pure joy leap at me. Glenys and I talked for a while. She offered for me to come over to her place and hang out with her friends. I said I'd love to, she exchanged information with me. I went to her place a few nights later. It was an apartment on the first floor. Knocking I was invited in (thank goodness, because if I wasn't invited in I would've been standing outside all night.) I enetered the apartment. A spacious living room lengthwise connected to the kitchen. Seven people were spread out evenly across the room. Glenys sat on a stool next to the counter, she waved excitedly at me. I walked over to her after saying hello to everyone. Talking with her for a bit, I don't remember what the other people said. Except for the next events to follow. I had migrated back towards the middle of the room. The apartments cat, a long haired brown, gold, and white sauntered into the living room. She acted like she was Queen of the castle, she was. The cat strolled over to me nuzzling my leg. I bent down to pet her, I love cats. The man of the apartment sitting in his La-Z-Boy chair called the cat over to him. I'll just call him Lazyboy since I can't remember his name. Warning danger Will Robinson, click spoiler for the disturbing true adventures of honey hatter. Bestiality in spoiler you've been warned. Spoiler Lazyboy picks up his cat and commented that she was in heat. I made an "ahhh" sound. That made sense. Still looking at me he took a cue tip out and started masterbating the cat right in front of me and the rest of the people in the room. I felt a cold shock of horror wash over me. WTF is going on!!!!!!! The cat started going crazy under his loving touch. I felt like I had just entered the Twilight Zone Movie. Where was Albert Brooks and Dan Akroyd when I needed them! I'm sure they're close by. Lazyboy looked at me as if this was the most natural thing in the world. He looked at me as if this kind of thing happened all the time. (Which it probably did.) I looked around the room, looking more closely at everyone in the apartment to gauge there reactions. I might as well have been standing in the middle of a vampire orgy where Lazyboy feasted on virgins... I was surrounded by the worst of the worst vampires. The kind that sit and smile blithely as they watch their Lord Masterbater show his tender mercies to his favorite cat... Dear God Get Me Out Of Here!!! Was all the screaming voice inside my head was saying over and over and over and over! I studied everyone's face slowly, they looked like this happened all the time. I... looked... at... Glenys... The personification of pure unadulterated joy... I can't remember the look on her face, except that she was sitting there unfazed. I felt like I had been punched in the gut and had my lungs ripped out of my chest at the same time. Vertigo hit me hard like I had walked out into traffic and a semi had launched me skyward. I looked back at Lazyboy sitting in his La-Z-Boy, trying my best to keep any reaction off my face. I tried to adopt the look of the other vampires in the room. If this was a casting call I would have not received any call backs. Still masterbating the kitty cat... DEAR GOD! How long have I been here??? Has Lazyboy been masterbating that cat for hours in front of me and everyone else? The cat continued loving every second of his.... "It was so nice seeing you again Glenys. I've got to go. Bye." I fled quickly the way I came got into my car and never looked back. That was a trip down memory lane. Anyone have an idea to make this story more disturbing after I left?
This is disturbing enough as it is, and this is disgusting. If this scene is absolutely necessary to your plot, spare the details. Rape scenes don't need to be explicit to inspire disgust.
All these years I never thought of it as anything than a extremely messed up situation I walked into. Much like Arya Stark's kill list seven people got added to my stories kill list. One will survive, six will not. Quanta you helped me reconsider the importance of the event. I don't need to add the disturbing events of that night to the story, just the cast of characters. The story isn't going to describe any of those events. I'll put them in a different place. Then one by one they'll expire until one escapes and only Lazyboy remains. You all will know the story behind the story though.
This really happened? Very strange, but I suppose it takes all kinds, as the saying goes. A lot of grammatical errors (missing commas, etc.) but I see the disturbing points of your story. Is this the opening scene of your book? I was drawn in very quickly so it could be the opening of a really strange story. The actual opening lines are pretty dry (for me): "I went to a comic book convention. At that time nearly everything I wore was denim. A Hard Rock Cafe New Orleans denim jacket adorned my shoulders. Jeans, black comic t-shirt, and hiking boots." You might try rewording this to be less dry, for example (not telling you how/what to write, just an example): "Hard Rock Cafe New Orleans denim jacket, denim jeans, black comic t-shirt, and hiking boots. Wandering around the merchandise tables at the comic book convention. I wondered, was I projecting the right image with all this denim?" Again, could be a great story opening!
This happened to me(unfortunately). I'm not going to use this story I think, I'll create a whole new one for them. I've got a prologue in the process 3,400 words in. Introduction of my two main characters to each other. The unnamed vampire(still having trouble coming up with a name for her,) and Angelique the Russian ballerina, I decided she is not present day. The two see each other for the first time circa 1943 at a forest pond in Russia. What happens to the six of the seven characters? I asked this of myself earlier. Six of the seven die bloody deaths including Glenys. Sorry Glenys you invited me to a disturbing situation, your character has to die even though your made of pure joy. I think of this group of friends as a larger disturbed Scooby Gang. Trixie the lesbian cheerleader who is a genius but unrecognized smarts by the friends. All except for her girlfriend Thelma(name change later) who knows just how rare Trixie is. Trixie is a Swiss Army knife of intelligent super model looks and numerous achievements. The friends will all be remembered in one form or another throughout the story as the events that happened to them will have already played out. Trixie will have merit badges across her chest, so many it will almost look like scale mail armor. She is a gymnast and she competed in the olympics, she's a science geek with chemicals so I'm sure Molotov cocktails will come into play. Her father is in the army, she has seven brothers. The father insisted she take a martial art from almost the time she was born. I'm thinking the knife fighting technique used in a Korean movie called "The Man From Nowhere." She's a expert at match shooting, she has a few more skills got them written down on my scratch pad. She'll be the blood thirsty cheerleader out for revenge. Harrying and hunting the two main characters from the shadows, unseen for 90% of the book except what I reveal of her in part. In exchange for all the skills she has she'll have to witness the deaths of her friends and lover in one way or another. This will drive her insane, she's going to possibly quote Romeo and Juliet except she'll replace Romeo's name with hers. The theme song was for me in that event. It also sounds like one for Trixie as she goes through the story. Maybe it's actually the theme song for the whole book. Here's the lyrics for Mantra. Spoiler A vision of you there Standing tall By the gate Everything is new Stare in-to What is not Yet As your bones grow And you feel the pain In exchange Experiences hang Run round your mind And collide Hang your toes Over the edge Cause you can You can switch your place Hide in-side If you try You'll open up your eyes And realize How you fit In the wild A lion is a lion No apologies And a leash Is a leech In a corral You're safe and warm Pass it on to A roo she/ every sheet Time and time again You stick your self To accept Someone else Give up the wish Let go of the dream Barricade Fantasy Burn the dogma Let the fire Overtake The desire To define I will find a way To keep this moment For myself I will find a way What's raging Out of control Like a wheel Like a storm Like a virus Like an ocean Like a silence An emotion Like a darkness Like a chance An idea Like a verb Like an outrage Like a sunrise Like a monster (Like a mantra) Like a monster (Like a mantra) Like a mantra (Like a monster) Like a mantra (Like a monster) nothing the same nothing the same nothing the same nothing the same And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same Again And all of this Will never be the same
If you want feedback on a writer's forum you might consider paragraph breaks. A lot of people turn away from walls of text. Also I doubt bestiality is much of a draw. Trigger warnings with spoiler blocking is the polite thing to do.
Thank you ginger I am just a padawan starting to learn the ways of the force. I thought my warning up top was enough, I guess not. New to learning bbcode. I'll try to use it more often in the right places. Don't want feedback necessarily, just posting. I'll take any advices always. Just posting an idea I had for these six people, may they Rest In Peace. Also just the truly strange story. I may use a little bit of the disturbing story for Lazyboy, the rest of the crew were more like innocent bystanders to a strong willed guy who sat in La-Z-Boy chairs. I may come up with something completely disturbing but fictional for him. Still in early stages of my book. Looks at my own post. Wall of text I see what you mean. It's like the Great Wall in China!
Can't help the punctuation errors that's just how I write. I'll either make an editor very rich or I'll learn to use proper grammar and punctuation as I write my story. I'm mostly self taught, I learn by doing. This isn't the opening, I have a prologue I'm almost done with. *dear God help me get through the prologue!* Rick I had an idea because of you. I didn't actually consider adding myself to this piece of history about Lazyboy and his crew. I could add myself, that would be an interesting idea. As soon as I walked through that apartment door I became part of there story. I could add myself to my own kill list, my mind is spinning in circles thinking of the possibilities. If I'm part of the story I'll have to kill myself, so the group of seven people becomes eight. Then one survives and seven die. I like the sound of this. First author to ever kill herself and survive.
Kinda feel like this should either be in the workshop (for critique) or your blog (for showcasing). "General Writing" has an entire sub-staff devoted to shifting things out of it that could be posted in more specific areas, it's for questions about writing not covered under one of the adjacent categories.
I like the sound of a blog. I've never had one before, I've read quite afew. Thanks Iain for planting a seed. Soon I'll have a garden to tend to.
You have one now, there just aren't any entries in it. Top left of the page, second row, "Blogs", click/tap dropdown menu gives you "My Blog" and "Create Entry". Badabing badaborkborkbork, and there you are.
My first and probably not last strangely weird or weirdly strange blog post is made. Thanks ya'll for going on this long strange trip. Next stop a Greatfull Dead concert I went to in '94 Las Vegas Nevada football stadium 105-110 degree heat. There was freshly poured blacktop where there should have been green turf, the blacktop soaked up the heat and reflected it back at all the deadheads. 110 degrees became 120 degrees. What a day.... On another note. How do i add my blog to my forum signature?
