My ex-wife and I had a New Years Eve party at my house with a bunch of friends, and her little sister was there too. Being only in her early twenties, she wasn't an experienced drinker and knocked back quite a few shots of tequila, got sick and passed out. We put her in our bed to sleep it off and continued partying. We finally went to bed very late ourselves. Somehow, I wound up in the middle of the bed between them, and in the dim, early morning, I rolled over to spoon with what I thought was my wife...I'm talking, really spooning, full-body-full-on spooning. I went back to sleep. My wife was a brunette, so I was certainly shocked when it got lighter and my face was buried in a bunch of blonde hair. I rolled over, very quickly and quietly, and no one roused, thankfully. Neither of them ever said a word about it, so I assume that she never awakened and didn't notice it. ..and no, that is not the reason she is now my ex-wife
I'm sat there in the hallway of Alpha Flight, 3483rd STUS at the DLIFLC with my pal Kieth. We're about a third of the way through the basic Russian course, on our way to be fully fledged little crypto-linguists in service of Uncle Sam. We're chatting away in Russian because we're finally at the point where we can have fluent, typical quotidian conversations. We're two of the best in our class. We're the gods, we are. Other students come to us to help tutor them, especially the ones about to wash out into the sad state of "cement specialist". We're kids, mind you. I think I'm maybe just turned 19 at this point. We're sat there in shorts and our oh-so gung-ho little 3483rd tee-shirts, full of ourselves. One of the newest of newbies walks past us. He's training to be a Spanish interpreter. He's kinda' chubby, the kind of guy that I would come to favor later in life, a little bear-cub. Kieth and I start commenting on his size, in Russian, because he's a Spanish student. We may as well be speaking Klingon, for all he's aware. He stops before opening the door to his room and says, "Я большой, но я не тупой. (Ya bolshoy, no ya ne toopoy.): I'm big, but I'm not stupid. TMW you want to shrink and shrink and simply pop out of existence because you've no one to blame but your twatish self.
lol that's hilarious gravel! Lucky guy... This may sound a little awkward. There were no banjos playing, and no I'm not from Arkansas. My girlfriend and my cousin stayed the night we had a girls party, pillow fight were had, nobody won. We retired to my waterbed in the basement, my cousin slept on the other side of the king sized bed, tabitha slept next to me. My girlfriend was a beautiful sexy tomboy with a mischevious puck-like nature. She crawled on top of me careful not to let the waterbed ripple and wake our next door neighbor. Looking up at her I was like?!? What? She said to kiss her... I could never say no to that face, I looked over at my cousin to make sure the coast was clear. I kissed her, she kissed back. We both were very careful not to rock the boat as it were. My cousin stirred once while we were in the middle of something. We both looked at each other giggling like crazy, a quiet crazy giggle-fest tho. The next morning my cousin woke up first, she had no idea that tabitha and I were lovers, until she saw tabitha laying on top of me. Our legs and arms entangled like a barrel of monkies. She had to climb over us to get out of bed, we were dead asleep. I found out later after I woke up and she was gone, I was surprised to wake up with tabitha still on top of me in an awkward position. All kinds of scenarios played out in my head, what my cousin saw when she woke up. I untangled myself from tabitha, she was even sexier with drool on her face. I found my cousin upstairs, I tried to play it cool. She walked up to me with a worried questioning look on her face. "Are you and Tabitha lesbians? I saw you both this morning, she was on top of you." My heart felt like it had been punched. The worst possible scenario... "What?!? No she rolls around all the time, sometimes she takes my sheets too," My cousin seemed unconvinced, but took my answer anyway. I'm sooo glad she didn't wake up in the middle of the night... Now that would have been AWKWARD!
lol good one I have another, similar, same bed awkward moment, but due to the graphic nature of the events that happened, I must refrain from sharing it.
When you are trying something a little different while fooling around with yourself, and playing with [REDACTED] and other [REDACTED]. When you have placed 5 in [REDACTED] after using 5 [REDACTED] for a bit to start out easy, and the only thing you are concerned about when removing them from [REDACTED] is to how much [REDACTED] you have to clean up after removing [REDACTED] from [REDACTED]. Not a bad night though.
Yep, it did. But I had it coming. The double whammy of being a dick while also thinking myself superior. Life's lessons. That kid (his name was Bobby) and I ended up being good friends, though, joined in the irony of his having grown up speaking a little Russian, but tagged to be a Spanish linguist; and me, having grown up speaking Spanish, but tagged to be a Russian linguist. Uncle Sam's decisions aren't always very intuitive.
I love that kind of irony, the bitterest of enemies to the best of friends nothing could be more perfect than this.
Thats the forces for you ... I knew one guy who was a chef before he joined up, the army made him a mechanic
Totally OT (except that it will be really awkward if I've got it wrong) In my current wip, the protagonists are about to hunt dragons with an RPG (as you do - it would take too long to explain why), and one is explaining that it doesn't really stand for Rocket propelled grenade, and the other makes a joke about it now being a Hand held anti dragon grenade... question for @Wreybies is have I got the Russian in the bolded bit right (courtesy of google translate) “Ruchnoi Protivotankovye Granatamyot “ he said, his accent butchering the Russian words “Hand held anti tank grenade launcher” “Hand held anti dragon grenade launcher” Hannah said laughing , “Ruchnoi Ubiytsa Drakona Granatamyot." Her pronunciation was much better. I again wondered what they'd been up to in the Ukraine the previous year.
Ok, so I've been staring at that for like a full five minutes. "убийца драконa" is roughly "dragon killer" or "dragon slayer" (literally "slayer of dragon") but it's working as a noun phrase there between the adjective "ручной" and the noun "гранатомёт", so that's no working. Russian doesn't allow that kind of noun stacking. It's not a real term, obviously, but I would construct something more like "ручной противодраконовый гранатомёт" (ruchnoy protivodrakonoviy granatomyot) противо(protivo) + noun in adjectival form is a common construction in Russian, in the same vain as antitank, antiaircraft, etc.
At an English faculty event early in my college career, I asked if the Creative Writing professor had made it. He was at my table, sitting right across from me. He confirmed that he had made it to the party. He's my academic adviser. Knowing him, he's probably forgotten about the whole episode, which is probably for the best.
TMW your fiance' comes out of the bathroom with the towel on her head the exact same way as the ex-monster, and you call her by that name. If I had superpowers, I would have flashed through time to cover her ears. There was just no walking it back, and she took it gracefully. She has never worn a towel on her head since. I love wet hair on a woman, anyway. (PG-13) honey, if I were slingshot back in time, I might have had that embarassed pang you get when you hear something juicy in public. But nyt now. Instead, I have a technical question. I made love in a waterbed for years, and we had seismic orgasms. I want to know how you kept from launching your cousin out of the bed?? (also you just bridged the gap for me in a story transition - thanks!)
I guess I should've posted this back in April, but anyways... At prom, I thought my boyfriend's friend was my boyfriend. Fortunately, nothing happened. I just went over and stood really close to him. Then I realized "wait, this guy is taller..." Looked up and saw his friend looking at me weirdly. I apologized and said I thought he was my boyfriend. Fortunately, I don't think he really cared.
Somehow when I read that the first time, I saw "I thought my boyfriend's boyfriend was my friend" and had the impression that you were in a really open-minded and unconventional relationship...
They're called Tuples. It's what my story is about. There's some notes for a scene later in the MCs life in me blogg
One of my neighbors sat me down and asked me if I wanted to Marry his sister so she could become a citizen. Even offered me money. When I responded with a "Fuck no" he broke down and started crying. I got up, he apologized and kept crying on the bench out front. Holy shit was that awkward.
Not as epically awkward as yours Moon. The other day I went to Kohls bought some beautiful ankle high black and white converse shoes. I love them sooo much I was talking dirty to them in the store while trying them on. My nephews fiancée was there I tol her to not look while I did what I had to, to these shoes. She was blushing like crazy, i was talking really dirty. That wasn't the awkward part. Two days later I went to Chipotle for dinner got a bowl and burrito to go. Can't find my keys, I set my purse on the hood of my car, ohnoes! I started freaking out had I locked them in the car?!? Rummage rummage rummage. Faintly heard somone say something behind me. Rummages through purse frantically. "Nice converse..." voice behind me says... sounding a little dejected... "nice shoes..." sounding very dejected that his compliment got ignored. I turned around ready to say thanks he was already going inside... Damn! *reaches in purse easily fining keys...* This one messed with me cause I hate for stuff to fall on deaf ears, I bet I'll see him again at Chipotle again some time.
I somehow managed to make eye contact with my next door neighbor (a guy my age who I grew up with but don’t talk to anymore) through our bathroom windows while we were both taking showers. It was awful.
