1. Published on Amazon? If you have a book, e-book, or audiobook available on Amazon.com, we'll promote it on WritingForums.org for free. Simply add your book to our Member Publications section. Add your book here or read the full announcement.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Dismiss Notice
  1. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

    Oct 2, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Northeast England

    The Crypt, need help.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Lemex, Oct 7, 2007.

    I've been planning a short story that I want to call 'The Crypt,' but I'm having a problem, my story has holes in and I'm not sure how to start it.

    It takes place in 1903 and a British Aristocrat and failed writer is staying with his grandmother, his grandfather had died years before in the Mahdist War. The family manor is located near the fictional Northumbria town of Belhaven which I'm placing near Amble, and the mannor is close to the town church, whose Graveyard holds the family Crypt, where his grandfather is buried.

    When going to pay is respects he steps into the Crypt to sees something moving in the corner of the room and the Grandfather's ring on the top of his Burst. Something he was buired with. Stocked by this he returns to the manor sceptical of his own beliefs on life and death.

    One night he wakes up to sound of chanting, he sees light arching over a nearby hill, in the direction of the Graveyard. He is intrigued and sensing it could be the bases of a great story for himself he investigates. Seeing a strange cult entering his families Crypt and hears a bazarre screaming sound, he walks down the Crypt's entrance stairs hearing the sound of chaos bellow him. When he gets to the inner Chamber he finds all the Cult members dead and the Zombie of his Grandfather standing before him.

    The Zombie chases him and the end of the story is him running away from the Zombie and trying to find a way to kill it.

    Is there anything I can add to this story to improve it?
  2. Scavenger

    Scavenger Senior Member

    Aug 4, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Well, as far as I can see, you've got absolutely no resolutions to the mysteries or problems. Unless you're intending to do a follow-up piece, you've left the reader hanging about the grandfather, and the zombie, and if this aristocrat dude's gonna bite and, and so on. So I'd delve into your plot a bit more, and see how much you can do with it. You've got a lot of opportunities to make this an exciting piece of adventure-fic, and I'd go for it.

  3. ap Oweyn

    ap Oweyn Member

    Apr 4, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Northern Virginia, USA
    Keep in mind that I'm not a writer in any meaningful sense (yet). But as a reader, I'd want a lot of blanks filled in. I'd want to know about the ring. What's its significance? It serves to suggest (along with the movement in the corner that kinda gets short shrift in your thumbnail) that the dead grandfather has been up and about. But I'd want a little more explanation than "he got up and walked around, then the ring fell off." Maybe you've already got that in your story. In which case, never mind. :)

    I'd want to know a lot more about the cult as well. Who are they? What do they want with the grandfather? Do they know he's undead? Do they intend to die? If not, why aren't they prepared? Why does he kill them? Etc.

    And why's he undead in the first place? How did that happen?

  4. chaoserver

    chaoserver Member

    Dec 4, 2007
    Likes Received:
    You need to provide resolutions to the numerous questions the beginning of your tale creates. Or at least mysteriously hint at answers.
    An example from popular literature is how Tolkein handled the character Ungoliant. Regardless running away and trying to kill his grandfather would be a terrible ending. Him having an internal battle of morals and uncovering surprising truths is far more fitting, because otherwise this story provides no meaning.

Share This Page