Guh, I post too much. Guess I'm just skittish, huh? Setup: So I recently created a new character for my story that I absolutely love. I'm not even sure how I came up with her, she just popped into my mind one day. Anyway, she's kind of a bruiser, like All-Might from MHA, Yang from RWBY, or, well, anyone you can think of that doesn't use weapons or skill, but generally hits harder than everyone else. She probably isn't as cool as any of them, though. More importantly, however, is her character arc. She starts off as completely coddled by another MC (let's call him A). Both her and A grew up in a harsh environment, and she's meant to have grown stronger on her own or die, but A kept her away from all that so she doesn't really know how to survive on her own. This causes her to have a generally rosy view of the world (the world is far from rosy), and, despite only being a few years younger than the others, she acts like a kid. She then meets three other MCs (How about... B, C, and D? Good job Mind, we did a clever thing today) and they do the bonding thing, during said bonding thing she develops feelings for B. Then, due to her never learning how to survive, she gets knocked out by a pack of wolves who intent to eat her (yep, plot twist of the century, hungry wolves. I'm the best writer ever). This directly causes B, C, and D to force A to stop coddling her, and they take up the task of teaching her how to survive on her own. Blah, blah, blah development happens and she gets stronger. Then, more things happen, and... things... happen to D, she gets abandoned by A and C, then gets betrayed by B. This causes her to run away for a couple years. During this time, she develops a deep hatred for B because of the whole betrayel thing. It's later revealed that she can't quite forget the person B used to b (heh, puns), and this drives her to attempt to sacrifice herself to save B's life. This knocks B out of her own ass and gets her to rejoin the good fight. She then joins B in the super-important thing that has to be done now, and becomes harshly loyal to B. I should note that all this takes place over the course of a couple years, so I will. I just did. It's right there. Question: The point is, I'm trying to create a character that goes from a child-like "weakling" (in terms of mental strength and willpower) who see the world as some rosy wonderland, to a loyal bruiser who can be relied on to break whatever "wall's" standing in the way of her goal. Given the arc I've presented, does this work? I know that this doesn't look great, but it's not all of it, it's just the super-important mindset-changing moments. If this doesn't look good enough, what are some suggestions you have? I really love this character and will gladly take any criticism in order to make her better. Guh, maybe this is too long? I probably shouldn't have included so many plot points, in case I ever actually finish this and someone remembers reading this. Go me.
A character losing the core ideals would be a mental weakling in my eyes. Superman kept his ideals no matter how much evil he had to face. You can compromise and discover new things, but everything needs a credible moral reasoning. The most important things in powerful story arcs is to let it take time and focus the journey rather than the goal. The physical challenges are supposed to show that the main character is tough and motivated in the face of evil ("Batman the dark knight" trilogy), even when losing the ability. A good story will also show that evil is relative and have anti-dogmatic moral dilemmas like in "A certain scientific railgun". The worst example of a poor story arc in this category is "Is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon" where the main character just gets everything for free like some kind of cheater. This appeals to young MMO players that get a temporary rush from addictive games, but it'll soon run out of fuel and become grinding, like when the final boss dies after one fist punch and there's no point in leveling up anymore. You may also lose the immersion with older readers if there are too many game references. While watching "Sword art online", my summary of the plot was that they never left the basement to take a break from playing the game. This little detail bugged me with an otherwise okay story that could've been in a real fantasy world.
It sounds like you've thought it through. I agree that it does have to take place over time, it's always frustrating when a character wakes up one day and decides to be better, has a montage that only seems to take a couple of hours for them to be transformed and by the evening is better than the arch villain. I think as well you should keep in mind the difference between being weak and being naive - just because she doesn't really understand how the world works doesn't necessarily make her weak. It can however make her a liability. For example telling a 'baddie' something she shouldn't because she trusts them could be naive, telling them because she knows they're a baddie and is scared of them could be seen as weak. (Of course what they would do to make her talk could change that!) I do like your outline and I love a good betrayal story! But I'd make sure you have a really good reason for any betrayals. I'd need to be convinced about A abandoning her after they've put so much into protecting her all that time.
