1. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    The haters...

    Discussion in 'Non-Fiction' started by deadrats, May 16, 2019.

    So, those of us who write nonfiction I'm sure have crossed paths with some haters. Truth can hurt, and it sure can shake things up. Do you care what people think when you're writing about yourself and your life? I guess none of us are in this to make friends. I'm not one to worry about getting sued or anything like that. I think people tend to worry about that sort of thing more than they really have to. But sometimes there is a backlash or fallout when it comes to publishing nonfiction. I do trust my publisher and we've discussed some of my concerns, but my publisher and editor really aren't all that concerned. When writing creative nonfiction do you ever hold back or do you feel like if it's your life you're free to present it the way you see it, the way it is for you? Real life can be messy, and sometimes the messier the better in terms of the story. At least I know I'm being read. But writing creative nonfiction is bigger than just a story, in my opinion. Universal truths connect us. So, do you just say F 'em to the haters? After all none of it is really about them, right? I'm not even sure how many people on this forum are into this sort of writing, but if you are I'm sure you've probably pissed off a few people here and there. How do you handle the haters?
     
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  2. Ma'am

    Ma'am Banned Supporter

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    I find writing under a pen name avoids a lot of hassle. To me, it stings less when the pen name gets criticized than it would if the real I got criticized. But I'd still greatly prefer compliments! I think sometimes it just stings and there's not really much to be done but endure it and remember, hey, it's published! :( :)
     
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  3. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Let me chew on your criticism a bit. Contributor

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    I think I'd like having a couple haters -- at least it would mean my work is getting read and getting some folks' attention. And yeah, just being published would be nice. I agree with ma'am that negative comments also sting, but that's just part of the game. You can't please everybody, and if you try to, no one will read you.
     
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  4. Ma'am

    Ma'am Banned Supporter

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    Oh yeah? :wotwot:
     
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  5. matwoolf

    matwoolf Contributor Contributor

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    Meh, I dunno I tried to answer a couple of times.

    Maybe I see a successful write, a successful writer, and the tortured, despairing, unhappy and lonely critic. And the critic is tragic and terrible and unlovable and horrid, but you pick him up anyway, then he lives on your face forever. Like real life.

    I'd just like to turn it around a little, and get away, escape from our contemporary 'me.'

    Yrs ever,

    Boreface
     
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  6. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Let me chew on your criticism a bit. Contributor

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    Yeah. You can be the first.
     
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  7. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    I'm past the pen-name stage as far as options go. And I don't think it would have been an option with the publisher I'm working with. I know it wouldn't fly with publishers I've worked for in the past. And I am specifically talking about nonfiction. I've found that a lot of nonfiction publishers aren't really fond of writers using pen names, at least when it comes to the places I've worked with. A lot of places don't even want you to change names of others in your writing. I've found some ways around that by using a profession in place of a name like "the plumber" or "the accountant." Middle names and nicknames can work too, but these are things I discussed with my publisher before getting the okay. However, there is not really a way around saying my mother or my sister or my best friend without exposing exactly who I'm referring to when I am writing under my name. Most people aren't going to track down my mother if I write about her. But it's never about her or whoever. This is about me. My life on the page. I guess thinking about it, anyone who's had a problem with my writing had problems with me in real life that had nothing to do with my writing anyway. So, I've got some haters, but I've also got some fan letters from complete strangers off the same pieces of writing. And that's never happened before. My writing seems to be the only thing working in my life right now. I am a little nervous about just how far I want to push the envelope. But I also know chances like this don't come often or easy. I feel like I've worked my whole life for this. Maybe I just need to remind myself that I'm not in this to win a popularity contest. How personal would you guys be willing to get if the right opportunity presented itself?
     
  8. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Loved by a Sweet lady. :) Contributor

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    Just sharing a bit of wisdom, what you do with it is your business.
    [​IMG]
     
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  9. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Thank you, @Cave Troll. You don't know how bad I needed to hear exactly that. On a side note... I've actually held Charlie Chaplin's cane. A simple but moving experience.
     
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  10. Alan Aspie

    Alan Aspie Senior Member

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    Haters don't read or listen to you. They read or listen to they own thoughts, imagines, delusions, "interpretations" and so on. You never reach them but they really, really try to reach you.

    Ignoring works often. If they stalk, then it does not work well, but it's still the best civilised solution.
     
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  11. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks, @Alan Aspie. No one is stalking me. I'm a long way from being that important. It's actually the opposite. People have stopped talking to me but not about me. So, I hear that I've pissed some people off. But I think you're totally right that haters don't listen or read what's there. They interpret things to suit them. Honestly, my haters probably hated me a long time before I was writing about MY LIFE. I recently had a piece published where I didn't even mention any of these people. This person, who got really mad about what I wrote, never even crossed my mind when I was writing it and when I sold it and when it came out. And get this, they're mad because they think it makes them look bad. They're not even a part of any of it or my life. I guess maybe they think it makes them look bad because they didn't help me when I was in the situation I was writing about. But I never even talked about anyone not helping me or that I had hoped anyone would help me. My piece wasn't really about that. They totally missed the point of what I wrote about. However, others didn't and this one little piece of writing has opened several doors. Haters gonna hate. I'm gonna publish. :)
     

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