In my job one of the things I do is help take medical histories from patients. One question that is always asked is about smoking and consumption of alcohol now or in the past. The answer is invariably no. ALWAYS. Using just the data I take, I would be lead to believe that there is no money to be made in the selling of cigarets or alcoholic beverages. Are there lies you tell to adhere or seem to adhere to an expected ideal?
What are they hiding from, some sort of cultural stigma, guilt or some personal disdain you might have for them?
For the most part, I'm pretty up front about my habits and lifestyle. Using your example, if I am at the doctor or dealing with the insurance company or something, I am up front about the fact that I drink. However, around my family, I don't bring it up, and if I do, I downplay it. It's not so much to adhere to an expected ideal, more to avoid an argument (my family is LDS), but it's close enough to fit. I'm not sure about Wrey's situation, but here in AZ, you have to pay more for health insurance if you smoke. That could be why.
The tax is so high on cigarettes, that it is seemingly counterproductive to run anit-smoking ads in new york city given its financial crisis.
"No, that blouse does not make you look fat at all." "This is delicious! You're the best cook in the world." "No, I did not sleep with your sister."
With the exception of that last one, aren't those more lies you tell to be polite than lies you tell to adhere to an expected ideal?
I am part of a culture where drinking is somewhat of a familiar custom, almost an assertion of manliness when with men, so it strikes them odd that I turn down alcohol or admit to not drinking; strange beings they are. I do not mind light drinkers, but having heavily inebriated people ruins many a party.
We have the same culture here. We don't find it odd. People like you are sought out and cherished. We don't have nearly enough DDs.
You know, that's interesting to me, because I'm kind of caught in the middle with the whole drinking issue. I don't drink very often, maybe one or two drinks a month usually, but around my family or people I have known for a long time, if I mention anything about drinking, they are horrified that I have ever allowed an alcoholic beverage to touch my lips. However, when we go out with Joel's friends and I turn down drinks, they are stunned by the fact that I don't want to drink. It's an odd line to walk...
Family and friends are two distinct beasts, besides you are a girl, you don't have to prove your manliness, haha. Its strange, some people I know will state proudly they can handle so many shots of something, in particular Zhumir, it's a highly potent sugar cane beverage form Ecuador, it burns my sinuses just to smell it.
If it wasn't for the whole drinking/smoking/caffeine (They might have changed this after buying a bunch of Pepsi stock) I'd consider the LDS the best of that types of religions. I have oodles of respect for a church that takes that good of care of its members, strongly supports guns rights and suggests their members to have two years of food storage.
I dunno, I told them all for the exact same reason. You know how women can get when you don't tell them exactly what they want to hear. If she ever found out that I secretly despise her tuna casserole or that her mom didn't really "slip" when she fell down the stairs, she'd like totally flip out.
I don't consume a single lick or whiff of anything that could potentially mess with my brain or screw up some other part of my body. That's generally what I say whenever someone asks if I drink/smoke/etc. It's no lie, either. On the whole, I'm pretty honest about myself. I don't really have anything to hide, something I definitely consider to be a plus. Then again, no one on this site has any way of confirming that. As far as you know, this entire post could have been one lie after another.
Over here in Australia, or at least where the cashed up Bogans (Rednecks for you Americans) live, alcohol is a normaility. Almost all the people i know binge drink on a regular basis {though they wouldnt see it as that) and we are not talking about teenagers here. Talking about mid twenties, mid thirties people who work and have kids of their own Now smoking, thats different.... when i was last smoking over a year ago, the place were i lived was going through some cashed up Bogan health retreat stage (even though these were the same people who drunk alcohol like breathing air) and it was impossible to have a smoke with my morning coffee (at the cafe) because you had to sit in the corner like an evil motherF*** that you are away from the rightous people that god loves I've seen this with my partners 15 year old. She's at that age where she wants to have a few drinks (we let her have a glass of wine if family are over, nothing more), but smoking for her greneration is like what hanging around your parents was to my generation. NO BLOODY WAY IN HELL. You can't smoke inside while in public zones anymore. You can't smoke on beaches (because they all litter apperently), you can't smoke in a car with anyone under the age of 16. I'm pretty sure smoking at some stage is going to be taken completely away. (Most will say thatsd bull due to $$$$, but Australia is one F%$%$£" wierd backward country) I know way to many people each year die to smoke related diseases, but alcohol isnt policed hard enough in this country and the death rate through drink driving and criminal behaviour is much more socially shocking then a fag in the hand in my opinion. NOW when i was at the doctors years ago and the question was, 'So do you drink or smoke?' My answer was always yes i drink socially, and no i do not smoke.
Speedy--spoken like a true smoker, even though you've given up. Drink is worse than cigarettes--yeah, right. As far as 'social' drinking and smoking goes, if people aren't sick on me or don't start yelling and acting funny, their drinking passes pretty much unnoticed. I'm not talking about getting drunk, just about having one or two drinks. But being next to a person who has just ONE cigarette, yes even outside, means putting up with a cloud of such a nauseating stink that I have to wash my hair and change my clothes as soon as I get back to my nice, smoke-free home. But on the subject of 'social lies'--the people in the country I live in are trained from birth to always act and never show their true feelings. You never mention any personal problem. 'How's work?' 'Great, great!' (This when the baillifs have just come and emptied your office, but can't say that). This is considered good manners, but it leads to blatant lying on a massive scale. Children grow up hearing their father yelling into his cellphone all sorts of lies, for example, that he's away on business that week--when he's relaxing at home in front of the TV. They always lie to kids to get them to behave, e.g. 'If you don't do ..., ... will happen' instead of taking the time to really explain something. They smile in your face, then viciously badmouth you when they are with their bunch of cronies. The women here are especially diabolical.
Back when I was running with a rough crowd and before I went to prison i used to have to fake drug use. It was a paranoid circle and if you were too straight people would think you were a cop. I have never even tried any illegal drug and do not even drink.
When asked the smoking and drinking question...I answer honestly. Smoking never...drinking occasionally. The questions I have a hard time answering are "What's up?" and "How are you?" I never know if people expect or even want the real answer. "What's up?" "Well not a hell of a lot since I am an unemployed loser who can barely get of bed int eh morning." or "How are you?" "Dealing with crippling depression..and you?" I tend to not answer honestly because I don't think ask those questions with the intention of receiving an honest response. I generally answer "not a helluva lot" and "Getting by." Just seems safer that way. You know?
In our town the drs. are in a clinic form. We have our own dr. but they are all in the same building and we do see other drs. if ours is not available. I always say I quit smoking because if you admit to smoking you get 2nd rate referrals to specialists. Since if you smoke you must not care about your health so why should they. When asked how are you I will usually say "better than the weather or not as good as the weather today" seems to satisfy that you have acknowledged the question but haven't gone into the gory details. I was raised that if you can't say something nice about a thing don't say anything. but when pushed I will say it is interesting or it is a nice colour. I hate lies being told to me so I try not to lie to others. Also if you lie you have to remember what lie you told to who so you don't tell a different lie to the same person. Easier to not lie at all.
I never thought about that before, Mina, but I do the same thing, depending on who asks me. So many people use "hi, how are you" as a greeting that doesn't expect an answer that I usually just say "fine..." instead of really answering.
If they're not close to you, they never want the real answer. It's just an extended, two-way greeting. The question is always something like "How's it going?", the answer is always something like "Fine, you?", then something like "Good, good", then, "Good." Kinda silly, really. Makes me envy ants; they just touch antennae for a few seconds and move along the trail. No ritual about that. I think Seinfeld did a bit where he said he wished he could just walk into the office and go, "Acknowledge, acknowledge," to the people he meets.
Well, then. The greeting itself is something of a culturally sanctioned lie, no? Like an accord. We will use these words in the form of a question, which syntactically indicate a level of concern for the other's well being, but the actuality is that there is no concern. What is required in the form of response is an answer that is as non comital as possible It is a pretense. A pretend game of words that I think falls well into the realm of attempting to maintain an image that conforms to an ideal for which there is little actual intention to achieve. N'est-ce pas?
