The Not Happy Thread

@Iain Aschendale have you told them that you are not the relay hub?
That seems to be part of the problem, since it seems they put it to you
to relay information to the others.

Good luck and don't get your lines crossed.

 

Put them all on a 'reply all' and make sure if they don't that you 'forward all.'

 

Hi Gingy!

 

So I had to listen to my obaasan spouting racist crap again.

On the one hand, I know she isn't like my white racist grandmother who not only said racist crap but was nasty & acted on it (and was abusive because of it); that usually it's all talk, cause when I introduce her to my friends of other ethnicities she loves them and her best friends currently are other ethnicities; and that she was growing up in World War II where they were actively indoctrinating the children into believing Japanese are the superior race & everyone else is inferior and the bad guys.

So in a lot of ways I give her a lot of grace.

I mean, she doesn't say they're inferior or really nasty things like that. Just that one group isn't beautiful or that this ethnicity are cheats or that this other ethnicity has this prejudiced stereotype, etc.

But I get so sick of hearing it sometimes. Especially yesterday when she went off on African & African-Americans to my mother & me. And I know my mom is barely holding it together because my mom's best friend is black (technically half black, quarter Filipino, quarter white—but the Filipino isn't in her favour either).

And the day before she was harping on me getting married and giving her beautiful grandchildren, and I jokingly asked what she would do if I had nonattractive children. And she said I wasn't allowed to marry an unattractive husband because that's the only way my babies could be ugly. This was mostly all teasing & playful.

But now I'm afraid of what will happen if I end up with an Indian or an African American or someone completely foreign to her. I mean she already lost it big time back when I was in HS for attending a Korean school for a year, going off on how I was betraying my cultural heritage even though I was still taking Japanese classes at the same time. I can only imagine what she would do if I ended up with someone who is niether Japanese nor Caucasian.

And trying to imagine having to explain my obaasan's verbal racism to a significant other is terrifying. Because I adore obaachan. In a lot of ways she raised me nearly as much as my parents did, having being sent to her for weeks or months while my sister needed special medical attention and even being taken on long trips traveling through various cities throughout Honshu & Kyushu. Obaachan is a huge part of my life.

But I'm so sick of hearing her trash talk, even when she doesn't realise what she says is wrong or mean, and that she doesn't really mean any harm.

I just don't know how I could ask anyone else to put up with her when I'm barely hanging in there myself right now.

 

@NoGoodNobu
Marry a secular Arab, that will teach her.

On the cereal. I know that she grew up with national pride,
and such as you alluded. But it is one thing to defend ones
culture, and another to be a closet bigot.
Sounds as bad as those loser White Pride buffoons.

I am sorry you have to deal with that. Sounds rough.
For what it are worth, just say yes grandma, and do
what makes you happy. Its your life, and you have to
live it. Not her. You like who you like, and if others
can't handle it thats on them. You love whom you choose.

And if she really wants to argue, just tell her we're all pink
and squishy on the inside.

 

While reading American Gods, I stubbed my toe. My little one, right on the corner of a wall. Gonna wear steel-toe slippers from here on out.

 

Sigh.

I mentioned starting freelance writing. It's totally fucking up my days. I have two measly recurring jobs that are nothing, I'd like to be doing double of what I have on my plate, but I can't even manage this pathetic little slice of pie. I have so much trouble with time management. It seems as if I just am spending half my time out to lunch, figuratively. So the deal is, I'm a stay at home mom to a toddler. This makes giving anything my full attention (other than her) pretty rare. I attempted to write a research heavy article while she was awake yesterday and it was a horrible idea. It felt like I spent half the day trying to write this thing at a grueling pace. Really, I was back and forth between the work and her and it made the research go exceptionally slow AND I felt as if she was ignored all day.

So, my best bet is only writing when she's sleeping. Which means I'm getting horrible sleep and haven't been able to run (I can only run in the early morning for a few reasons). I'm trying to train for a long race in October but if this keeps up I'll be lucky to run once a week and I can kiss that half marathon goodbye. The dishes aren't getting done everyday, I'm not making dinner anymore...I keep trying to just calm myself down by telling myself this is an adjustment period. I haven't even had either of these jobs a full week and there are the first freelance writing jobs I've ever had. Obviously I'll get more efficient...it's just hard to keep the stress at bay. I nearly shredded my boyfriend to pieces a moment ago because he was trying to find a clean bow, bless his soul.

 

Haha whoops.

 

Went out Saturday night to a family party, and whilst I was merry it wasn't too bad. Left a friends house via the back door, turned around to say goodbye as I walked out the back door and didn't realise there was no step.... end result was me rolling my ankle as I landed before crashing onto the ground and lying there like a stuck turtle... still sore now :s

 

So I was driving a fully loaded truck (Rigid Body) with 13 pallets of salt and breadcrumbs bagged when a Range Rover decides at the last second It needed the street on the right. That's 13 pallets at nearly a ton each shifting off the the base as I braked hard tearing the bottom ones open and smashing the headboard and corner support on the truck

 

I feel your pain I did the same thing carrying some speakers from a pub in Nottingham after a DJ set one Saturday night, Major swelling the next day and a good week before I could get a shoe on.

 

I am afraid of failure. I can barely speak my issues... I frozen with fear of being unable to support my family. I am scared... How do I surpass a fear that has haunted me my whole life?

 

I won't pretend to have any answers for you, but I've felt the way you're feeling. All I can say is - one foot in front of the other. The strongest urge you have to resist is the urge to give up. Just keep moving and you'll be okay.

 

Feel your pain there mate. Rolling your ankle is so darn annoying. Can be very painful, and sods law dictates you're bound to roll it on kerbs/stairs at least a couple of times a day, thus slowing down your recovery lol

 

From experience, just keep going.

There will come a time when you'll be able to laugh about how hard it all was.

Incidentally, can you not talk about this with your SO? You would probably be surprised at how much support you'd get from that quarter.

 

I nearly spat my tea out on my machine at work reading that! Absolutely hilarious

 

She has a lot going on medically.
I mainly just lack any drive to improve due to the fear. Lethargic a lot with no energy.

 

Well, I've been canned from one of my freelance jobs. I'm extremely relieved I was too. I immediately knew the job was crap before I finished my first article but since I'm new I figured I should stick around at least a couple weeks. They wanted expert articles that required hours of research, but paid less than minimum wage. So, even keeping the job I decided I was not going to put in extra hours. Quality dropped and they dropped me. Then why is this in the NOT happy thread? Well, because I'm sort of freaking out that I'll be dropped from my other job (that is absolutely great). So, yeah, I'm freaking out a little and anticipating a subdued internal crisis if I lose the job I really like with full time potential I've already envisioned part of my future. I'd have a stiff drink if alcohol wasn't such a shit way to relax and I'd have a long smoke of hookah if it didn't give out cancer like it's candy on Halloween.

The other reason it sucks is because less money. I'd climb in a hole to perfect my grammar issues and mope if I didn't want more of that sweet ass cash.

 

Oh boy, yeah. Been there, suffered from that.

I found it helps to remember that a lot of that fear is physical. Your adrenaline levels are probably sky high (Note: I am not a doctor nor do I play one, etc., etc.). But since you can't see any action to take, it's just going back on you and eating you up from the inside. No wonder you're tired.

Is there something you can make yourself do to drain some of that off so you can use the rest to tackle the family support issue? Something brainless like running or digging in the garden, I mean. Because unless I miss my guess, your mind barely remembers it exists right now.

Beta-blockers are helpful, too. but a lot of doctors aren't familiar with using them to deal with excess adrenaline.