The Not Happy Thread

Best answer? Make friends with your neighbors. Seriously. Just be on good terms with them so if they see anything weird they'll do something instead of thinking "Fuck that guy".

 

I'm in the neighbourhood watch so yes, I'm on good terms with them. First rule!

 

Good for you Not a whole lot of neighborliness around these days.

And it's funny how much people underestimate other people as being part of security. It's a thing I see in companies all the time. I shoot corporate video for my day job, so I walk into a lot companies. And let me tell you, I don't look like I should be in an office in mayfair in my megadeth T-shirt and with hair down to my butt. And never once has someone asked me what I'm doing here.

Oh they have security, but everyone assumes that if you're in the building you belong there. It comes from treating people like a security hole to patch up instead of an opportunity to be more secure. Someone sees the people coming and going, so why does no-one give a shit if I'm wearing my visitors badge or I'm just wandering into places I'm not supposed to be with a camera? I mean, who looks at me smoking outside the freight entrance and goes "Yeah that checks out"? People who don't give a crap, that's who.

 

We also live on the fifth floor now, so it's a little difficult to climb in through the window.

There were some burglary attempts in the area where we used to live. One time there was also some pervert going about, peeking in through the windows. Scared a friend shitless when she spotted him.

 

I presume she took the shot?

 

That's technically true but there is literally no security that can work against an adequately determined attacker. The only thing you can do is not present a tempting target.

Think about this; do criminals decide to attack the house with nice stereo and then plan a wacky escapade? Or do they look for the house with the open back window they can sneak into?

Remember as well how little there is in it in an average burglary. Seriously, total up how much all your stuff would get at pawn shop prices. And then think about trying to haul a big, modern TV out the house and make off with it. I mean, do you think they are making multiple trips with the police sirens in the background? No, they are going to grab a laptop or jewelry or something and then bail. And for that kind of thing are you going to look for a situation where you can quietly take the nice stuff or are you going to batter down the door and defy the world to stop you?

It's easy to get into any specific house; the question is why this house? What do you think is in the house that is worth you getting arrested and going to jail? I mean, for real, smash and grab leaves so much evidence. And people are sure as hell going to remember the dude with the sledgehammer. Oh and on top of that; you are now carrying a deadly weapon to a burglary, you are now doing criminal damage, you are now a violent menace that is going to get caught. And for what? A nice TV? Not even addicts think like that. Addicts are dumb enough to rob a house of someone they know but they'll do it by stealing a key and waiting until they aren't in.

 

Luckily, I don't see that being a realistic scenario in my case.

 

And there was nothing anyone could have done to stop them. Because when someone targets your house there is just nothing you can do. I mean, a door is only marginally harder than a wall to go through. You can bar the windows and it won't matter if someone shows up with the right tools. And every lock ever made can be attacked and defeated, doubly so if you don't care about making noise of mess. And of course if you're talking a prepared group of hardened criminals; it's not insane to suggest they might just cut out anything clever and smash a JCB through your patio doors or dynamite the kitchen.

The point is that you can't stop this kind of attacks. But they are incredibly rare. There are vastly more of the opportunists who'll have a nose at an open window. And you can defend against them cheaply and effectively. But against the high end your defense is insurance, and being someone they don't want to rob. How much do you need in your house before it's not worth it?

 

Good thing our cops are extremely nice and polite, so it wouldn't be a wholly unpleasant experience.

 

Are there still loads of goths in Finland?

 

It's not very mainstream, no. It's more common to be a regular metalhead. Long hair and beard, tatts, band shirts -- that kind of thing. I've worn an Iron Maiden tee to the office a couple of times and no one batted an eye. Also, Tuska Metal Festival is still one of the most popular summer festivals around here, so I guess the culture's pretty deep rooted.

 

I guess that's pretty much what I mean by goths I remember in Helsinki it felt like everywhere I looked there was some girl with awesome hair and platform boots who was way out of my league

 

Life is piling it on this month. I've got two birthdays, a "memorial birthday" for a deceased relative, Christmas, apartment inspections, two meetings, a party, and writers' group this month.

In other words I can just forget about having any time for myself. At all. By the time I get done with one event, I'll get home, go to sleep, and wake up in time for the next.

I'm not going to be very social next year from January to March. I'll still be active online, but being around people is taxing.

 

I am more annoyed than I am unhappy. Why? For the first time ever while my husband was out overnight celebrating his brothers birthday I was able to fall asleep at a decent time. I am serious, this never happens. I'm usual very afraid to sleep without another adult in the home but I convinced myself it would be okay. We just moved into a new place and I am trying to change a couple of habits and fear of being alone is one of them. Well, I managed to fall asleep and was getting great sleep when at 4am his brothers wife (who has never been to my new house) was banging on my door and ringing my bell (screw my sleeping 2 and 11 year old right?). So, I was startled out of my precious slumber. I thought maybe it was my husband coming home but lost or forgot his keys. It wasn't. His brothers wife was at my door trying to catch her husband with another woman. I was annoyed, confused, and concerned. This woman drove an HOUR away from her home to my house to catch the husband she put out over a week ago whose now staying with us with another woman. There was absolutely no reason for her to think he was with another woman. They separated because he caught her cheating. What makes it more annoying is that since she didn't know where I lived she picked up my other sister in law who showed her where our new house was. Needless to say I couldn't manage to get back to sleep right away. I was up for a while and missed my 7:30am alarm to take my daughter to school. She woke me up at 8:20 to drop her off. Luckily, I am very punctual and she doesn't have to be to school until 9:10. I just like to wake up early so I can make sure she has a decent meal and her hair combed. I was still very annoyed with the whole thing. I'm a private, relaxed person who doesn't do well with drama and those type of antics. It's too exhausting for me. That whole ordeal is totally unbelievable. Thanks for listening.

 

Iatasha: that sucks. What a dumb reason to wake you up.

When your husband is gone at night: Have you tried a weighted blanket? It’s dumb, I know, but it helps some people fall asleep when they’re stressed/anxious.

I have a similar but opposite problem; I can’t sleep in bed with another person.

 

Work has been getting progressively worse and worse.
It's my job to train new sailors how to operate nuclear reactors, using an actual (small) reactor plant. As with any job in the military, you never just have one job. You have a dozen or so hats to wear and balance them all out, and you're always trying to add on more jobs to do, meaning even though I teach students, I am in some regards also a student and have to do a similar job to what the students do, also qualifying for new watchstations to gather even more responsibility for myself.

I had a much longer rant, but I felt for OPSEC reasons I needed to cut it down to just "This place sucks." We've got too many demands placed on us, not enough people to meet the demands, and it's getting worse; the divide between the Upper Chain of Command and the operational/training/maintenance staff is growing. They say they listen to our complaints, but every day they prove they just don't really care, or that they don't have the balls to tell off the people yelling at them; they get really pissed when we tell them off.

God forbid anyone tells them "this s*** wouldn't fly in the fleet. We'd never do this."

 

What Moose said. Doesn't matter what the job is, the people in charge never give a shit about getting it done right, just about getting themselves to look good. The best advice I've ever heard, which you should not apply as someone training people not to fuck up nuclear reactors, is "Don't try to care more about your job than your boss does, it'll only stress you out."

But yeah, Fukushima, Chernobyl... Care a lot, do it right, and keep up that OPSEC, I know the feeling even now.

 

Point is that the difficult life is supposed to be when you're working 120 hour work weeks underway.
Not when you're getting the job that is supposed to keep you wanting to stay in the military.
I never planned on this being an easy job.
I had planned on it being a better deal than deploying. People shouldnt be welcoming a life when I have limited access to family, friends, internet, food that I can describe as "edible," toilet paper that can be described as "not sandpaper," sleep deprivation, average work day is 17 hours long, et cetera.

EDIT: Also, Fukushima/Chernobyl not really a concern if you designed your reactor, like, in the past 50 years. Mine is literally the oldest reactor operating, but we have other things to make that not be a concern.