Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Cogito, Nov 20, 2010.
What do you do if you're caught in a seemingly neverending cycle of shitty days?
Let you not forget to wipe.
Hugs. Yeah, this can't continue on. Hope you find the strength to get what needs to be done tomorrow. You can do it.
@EstherMayRose I can't really give you any advice at the moment that you haven't already heard, either from others or from your own head.
Even so, I will at least remind you to take care of yourself. This semester I was on the verge of a mental breakdown several times, and then suddenly I'm seemingly fine for one week, two weeks, one month at a time. It's back and forth, back and forth.
You're lonely. I'm lonely. A lot of people are lonely. It's hard to imagine for different reasons, but it's a safe bet that many of those "freshers" or whoever else feel the same way.
I also don't think I'd be much good in a relationship, but for different reasons that I'm not going to go into, because if I did then this post would become about me, I'd forget about you, I'd feel guilty for doing so, and-- yeah.
In your post you have a shotgun blast of different issues, some big and others small. You mention you've been feeling tired lately. So, I would do what little you can with what little energy you have. Maybe one useful way to think of it (you're intelligent, so it's likely you already know this) is that it will cost way less energy in the long run if you get shopping done and don't have to eat out as much for a while, thereby saving a little money.
I also understand that in these times, the most important thing might just be to talk about what's happening, and have somebody listen. Somebody to level with. I hope I managed to provide a modicum of that. I have a tendency to immediately think "how are we going to fix this", but in my own life I have found that there are times where I already know what I need to do or ought to do, but I'm trapped in my head, or maybe I'm struggling but the solutions are beyond me. Perhaps you can relate in some way.
Hope you feel better! Get good sleep if you can. For just the near future, take it day by day. Eat. Get one chore done and out of the way with so it's not taking up RAM in your cranium's computer. If the end of the semester is approaching, that might be a ray of hope.
What’s wrong with people? Is it just me being over-sensitive? Have I lead too sheltered a life? Probably both of the last two, but I’m sat in the mess room with a couple of work colleagues sharing videos they’ve been sent. They’re both laughing, saying stuff like “Holy fuck!” And “Whoa!” Curiosity gets the better of me, “What are you watching?” I ask. One of the video showed a dispute in Asia somewhere, in which a man is suddenly doused in petrol and set alight, the other is a woman being flattened by a truck - squashed like a tomatoe I gather from what they tell me. I watched the first because they wouldn’t tell me what was going to happen. “Just watch it.” they kept saying. I refused to watch the other.
They seemed more surprised at my reaction than the videos.
The man was set alight in Hong Kong.
This is a debatable point. Are they ‘enlightened’ pursuing current affairs across the globe - while you remain ‘indifferent’ and clued to only your own sensibilities?
...or are they a couple of gross yobbos doused in pornography...
They’re not a bad pair of lads, generally speaking, but they do seem to delight in some very gross stuff. I could understand if they too were horrified by such footage. That’s called not burying your head in the sand, but reactions such as theirs (and countless other people) when witnessing such horrors is completely and utterly alien to me.
When I was a ‘builder’ for 6 months the youngster brought in so much distressing snuff porn/amputations...grim...though they were a brighter crowd than the farmers before them...goodness me...another story.
These people are common place in the military. If they keep doing it their minds start to get real warped and they start acting out. Didn't see it so much being in the air wing, but infantry dudes sometimes were a little off. You come to realize how numb they've become. Your work people there will find themselves down that odd road after a while. I personally hate that stuff.
People always ask me "What's the worst thing you've ever been to?"
What they mean is, what is the goriest, most horrific thing I've seen. But my idea of "worst" and their idea of "worst" is vastly different.
Could be desensitization. Could be that laughing is a coping mechanism. Laughing is a funny thing; one moment you're laughing at a clown, the next... Extreme schadenfreude?
With a glass half-full, I'd wager they wouldn't be laughing if they were watching that happen in the parking lot at work with their own eyes. I've got a friend who occasionally goes on sub-Reddits that post that kind of shit. He's a good friend, a good person. You don't have to be a psychopath to laugh at something like that, in much the same way you're not "over-sensitive" for not.
You withstand and plan your revenge.
Also listen to Queen. I want to break free, I want to b r eak Free!
I do hope you mean that the way round I’m hoping
Did he die?
My “worsts” are the things those people wouldn’t want to hear about. Like watching an old lady saying goodbye to her husband of 66 years as he died in front of her, or the old guy who fell and couldn’t get up and wasn’t found for days because nobody noticed he wasn’t around, or the teenage boy who found his dad hanging in the garage and was distraught because he wasn’t strong enough to cut him down, or the toddler who didn’t want me to put her down because she been starved of any affection for so long just being held was novelty to her, or the kids who’s mother set fire to their car with herself and them in it. They’re not the stories people want to know about, but they’re the ones I think of more often.
They want to hear about the gory injuries, the decapitations and amputations and mangled or degloved limbs, the one unders, the stabbings and the gunshot wounds. Well, they don’t really want to hear about it properly. They only want to hear the version they have in their head, which is generally different from the reality.
Gosh... those are really heartbreaking stories. Hugs to you for having to face them regularly, and bless your brave, kind soul.
Good Lord have mercy! The videos are horrible enough; the fact that the "nice" people at your work are enjoying them is creepy as hell.
Total depravity lives.
And no, you are not oversensitive. Your colleagues have become desensitized and inhumane.
Minor complaint to vent at myself--- minor, compared to those of others here:
It is, or was, a beautiful late fall Saturday, I have tons to do, but I didn't haul myself out of bed till 1:30 in the afternoon. And by 4:30 I was sleepy again. I'm trying to get today's word count in on the WIP, but all I want to do is go back to sleep.
Every day of my life...
Today we're attempting to break the world record for the most people tap-dancing at once. (Costs £10 to take part; money goes to Children in Need.) To celebrate, we'll follow this up with a roast at a bar. The problem is, this is the bar who outed themselves as a bunch of homophobes on Halloween and I don't really want to give them money. However, I also really want to be included (see previous post re: loneliness) and I have barely any food at home and still no energy to cook/wash up/go shopping.
Yes, you did what you could. I hope CPS takes it seriously and makes sure the child gets all the help she needs.
As parent of a now young man on the spectrum, I know how frustrating and difficult they can be; sometimes it feels so obvious that "if they would only listen" and that's a dangerous path to go down. Because if they were capable of listening to reason, able to communicate and understand the outside world, they would not be on the spectrum. It was never their choice, because they never had one and probably will never know.
Our family is fortunate to live in a state (we moved here for his sake) that has good services, and we are financially well enough off that we can handle all the peripheral complications and needs; we are educated enough to know what's out there and articulate enough to demand the help he is entitled to. Not everyone is.
I know what it's like to have people glaring at you in restaurants or out on the streets, sometimes even giving well-meant but irrelevant advice. To feel harshly judged for something that you didn't cause and can't cure, and can only rarely control.
I often thank God my family is in the position we are, and wonder how it must be for people already struggling to get by, to have the complication of an autistic child on top of everything else.
I'm not at all trying to excuse or explain away the mother's actions, just trying to broaden the picture a bit. I hope both the mother and child , especially the child, get what they need.
Seline brought her boyfriend to the wedding, even though the invites didn’t say we could bring plus ones—even our married or dating friends got individual invites, and it was to the point that it was a slight to one family where everyone but a single sister was invited and when asked the bride said it was intentional. I honestly would’ve brought someone if I could, but that’s not what’s wrong.
He hugged me.
I don’t like people touching me.
I don’t like really good friends touching me.
I have a comfort level and limit of physical contact—maybe one or two of my closer female friends can be snuggly with me but I have to be aware of the contact before they start for me not to flinch or move away. Seline was the only person I honestly never minded, but that wasn’t from day 1. My best guy friend can’t even touch me all the time, though we do hug and sometimes wrestle. Just not always, not at any given moment.
And at the wedding, my best friend clearly saw that so many people kept touching me and hugging me that I didn’t know well and it was getting overwhelming so that when he said goodbye he held out his hand for me to shake instead of going in for a hug because he knew I was already way over my limit. This is why I love him.
But then her boyfriend just walked up and hugged me.
The worst part was he acted like nothing was weird, when he still has me blocked on all social media for commenting on a photo of just him at theme park that he went on a date with Seline to, that she got the ticket for him, and she was not in the photo and the post made it seem as though he was there by himself, not for the first time and it had been 6~ months of them dating—and so I commented, asking why he didn’t post any photos with his girlfriend?
And it was deleted and I was blocked.
He still doesn’t post photos of or with his girlfriend.
And the social media account of which he’s aware he still has blocked—as of the wedding day and this morning.
And he hugged me without asking and I hate physical contact but this was cringier than usual.
If it wasn’t a wedding and someone else’s day, I would have openly called him out. By which I mean just point out what happened and ask him to explain his behaviour. I would have had the open talk—probably with both of them.
But it was a wedding and I played civil.
But I still feel gross.
I also wouldn't see it as wrong for you to have just said 'Get the f*** away from me.' It's just a fact of socializing that some people are the touchy feely sort, but unless they know for certain someone is open to that they really should just keep their hands to themselves.
Separate names with a comma.