Don't think I haven't considered this. It's a daydream I've fancied on and off for years. With my dad gone and having no kids of my own, I really do have nothing that is holding me back as far as emotional attachments (I still have family I care about, of course, but I'd end up talking to them as much on the road as I do now). But it's still not as simple as that. You still need money for food, gas, propane or some other source of heat, repairs on the road, legalities such as vehicle insurance, a special license to drive certain RVs, plate tags, etc. The idea of the lone vagabond traveling across the country and writing about his adventures is a romantic one but not a realistic one. For every dozen examples that exist of people having pulled it off, there are three dozen examples of those who wound up in a situation worse than the one they were running from or just plain old ended up dead (mugged, stabbed, shot, killed by wild animals, take your pick). I also don't necessarily like the idea of shacking up with a group of random strangers hippie-style in order to "live off the land" or rely on the "generosity of my fellow Man". We have those here in Columbus and they're called homeless camps. Darren, a homeless man I often talk to outside of the bookstore I frequent, lives out of a van and as much as I like the guy, his is not a life I would want. Not to mention that when/if I rejoined "civilization" then I would be coming back to the same problems I have now such as needing/keeping a good job, debt (I still owe eight grand on my current vehicle which has filled me with a lot of buyer's remorse), another take your pick. No. I think you said it best at the beginning. Life just sucks sometimes. I still have things that other people would envy. People in other parts of the world, my part of the world, and in the city I live in would look on in wonder at the home I live in, the car I drive, my belly full of fast-food because I'm too busy to cook, and they would roll their eyes at my "first-world problems". I'm not the type to dismiss people's problems just because other people have it worse (worst? I don't know anymore) but when it comes to myself, I try to remember that although I'm not as well off as some, I am still better off than most. Thanks for reading, though and thanks for the birthday wishes. I said that shame before pride would have me sleeping under a bridge before going to certain members of my family for help but the truth is that fear above all would probably make a dramatic liar of me. I have an awkward relationship with my family but it is still a better support system than I've known some people to have.
I'm just generally unhappy today. Not liking myself today, and I don't particularly know why. Customer was annoying today. They have a perfectly well working machine that I installed that is well within specifications, but they wont accept it. It's off from the possible internal temperature by .2 degrees C. Mind you, the range of error is +/-1.0 degrees. Some days, man... I'm not that bad off. Just generally not having it.
I was all set to go to the store to get stuff to make cinnamon rolls for people tomorrow at the department holiday party, but then my car decided to slide into a curb so hard I got scared I broke the axle and now I am without a vehicle. My insurance is covering the cost of a rental car, though, so that's good, but I'm not sure how soon I can get in to have a vehicle for work. I also don't have anything as a secret santa present for the person I'm ... giving a present to? I don't know why that felt weird, but it did. Anyway, hopefully they'll be okay with me being a little late on getting it to them. The sadder part of this saga is now I'm definitely out 500 dollars, which in the grand scheme of money isn't a lot, but for someone who doesn't actually have a lot, it is a chunk. I'm annoyed. But I ate some pasta about it, so I should be fine in a bit.
Recently, as I was traipsing through life's cosmos, I acquired a Cold. It has settled into my head and is eagerly causing runny nose, frequent sneezing, a sore throat, lack of sleep, and Irritability on a Grand Scale. I hate colds. They make me operate at about 20% usual capacity. Easy tasks suddenly seem as impossible as swimming up Mount Everest when I have a cold. I want it to go away, and I also want to refuse to deal with the world until it does. But I have a couple of responsibilities that must be dealt with before I can burrow into my bedclothes and hibernate. Argh. That Argh is more than my usual Argh of simple frustration; it's also the noise I make when I try to breathe with a cold. Fuck this cold.
People keep talking about Geno being in Ultimate, but he's been in only one game! (VS Duck Hunt counts as a separate game, so yeet)
This world is hell on earth. And in hell, you don't strive to be the angel. You deal with the demons, as a demon would, and let god sort it out in the end. I'm sure he'll understand. After all, he put us here.
I have a doctor appointment tomorrow at an out of network hospital. In general, my insurance doesn't cover out of network visits. But when there isn't anyone in network suitable, they have an appeals process to get the visit covered. I just spent most of the day on the phone trying to find out if the appointment was approved or not. I was transferred 9 times, spent a grand total of 2 hours 6 minutes on hold, and ran my phone battery down to 48%. I'm a little cranky now, so insert the hostile sarcastic tone of your choice here.
At least, did you find out if it gets covered? I hope the calls were free... Reminds me of the time I didn't have internet for 2 months, nor telephone and I had to make calls to my telecommunications company. Oh, the irony. Let's say it wasn't cheap and I hate being on hold. Detest it! Crankiness is understandableu.
The approval did go through. Tomorrow is a go. Judging by the accents of the people I spoke to and of the people speaking in the background I was transferred between New England, the west coast and possibly Florida. No wonder no one could find anything.
So, the car thing happened, and then yesterday while I was driving the rental car, I spun out on the highway, almost getting hit driver's side by an oncoming pick up. Spent most of the day trying to recover from that. Then last night when I got ready for bed, my glasses broke. Got my car back today, but now I have an aggressive cold on top of everything I've already been through this week. I want the universe to be done with me so I can take a deep breath. I'm looking forward to this weekend so I can do as little as possible while still maintaining my prior commitments. EDIT: My car insurance didn't cover the repair, so I'm out 425 smackers for that, which isn't bad and it could have been worse, but I'm still irritated that I had to pay out of pocket for it when I already pay them a shit ton for full coverage. The rental car was covered, though, and the tow. So small things matter I guess.
Pinched nerve in my back is acting up again. It's nothing serious, somewhere in the trapezius near my left shoulderblade, but for twenty years or so it gets bored every so often and decides to act up sending pain all the way up the left side of my neck. Unfortunately, it's morning and Mrs A. has a party tonight, so it's just me and the drugs until midnight or so. Anybody know what the LD50 for ibuprofen is?
Sounds like a good night out incidentally ibuprofen is an anti inflammatory - it'll do both halves of jack for nerve pain - you want one of the pain receptor blocking types like paracetamol or codeine
It helps a bit, but I'll see if I can find some paracetamol. Basically I've got a bit of muscle that cramps up around a nerve, causing pain, which tenses the muscle further, which goes into a nice little feedback loop.
LD50 is the best part! Just take it. It' ll loosen you up for a while. Mesulid though works better for me.
My restaurant manager quit today. With no notice. Right in the middle of the holiday season. Sure he was a dickless fuckwad, but he did what he was told. Looks like I'm working every day for the rest of my life.