As a followup to my scotch tariff conundrum, I got my owner to agree to spend around $3000 to buy up older, pre-tariff Scotch stock. Here's hoping the idiot drivers don't break half of it.
Oh no. I make them show me the broken bottles on the truck. Assholes broke a case of Basil Hayden once. It's not the greatest bourbon in the world, but someone took the time to age it 9 years only for some flunkie in Providence to smash it. Whatever. Cash your check and take no pride in your work. I'm sure that'll balance your cosmic ledger. Funny shit is that shady GMs and shaddy drivers hook up all the time. They report the case broken but split it among themselves. Or sell it out the backdoor like in Goodfellas. Nobody looks into it because the warehouses ship 20 thousand cases a day to 5 thousand restaurants. Who's got the time to follow up on all those invoices?
So I have a HUGE. FUCKING. PROBLEM. I have run out of money. Completely. I bought some clothes recently and I didn't realise how much I was spending until I realised I was broke. I've made purchases since then, necessary and unnecessary, because apparently I can't comprehend a crisis, and now I have £2. (I'll get another £60 at some point because I paid a deposit for a society holiday that I've now pulled out of, and I've been promised it back.) I had a £1,000 arranged overdraft, and I have blown through that too. My savings are gone, and I have nothing left. I have to pay for costumes for a dance competition, and that should take up most of the aforementioned £60. I can't get a job, because it's hard enough juggling everything I do already, and I just don't have the time or energy or skills. This means I can't buy food for another six weeks. Luckily, I have food in the cupboards and the freezer, and I've been rationing it out. I thought I'd be fine, but I am not fine. I'm having one thing to eat a day, and I'm not sure it really counts as a meal. Right now, I'm working my way through a carton of eggs, one per day. I wondered if it would affect me badly, but it hasn't really. I'm just hungry a lot and I've felt faint a few times, and I've been tired and achey, but nothing really dramatic has happened. Today was really bad, though. I had a 9AM lecture and three hours of dance lessons, starting at 11. Despite getting to bed early, I woke up at 10:30. As it took me twenty minutes to get to the dance lesson and I needed to get dressed, I arrived very late to that. The teacher was very irritated about that, and also about the fact that I've missed a lot of sessions because I've been so tired. I was feeling very achey and I often felt like I was about to fall over, so I ended up stumbling through the lessons. I was also very fractious and I spent the entire morning about to scream at someone and/or burst into tears. Halfway through, I realised I should have been in a seminar. My attendance in lectures has been very poor, also because I've been tired. When I got a break, I found some notes in my purse (about £20 now) and spent £10 on lunch, thinking with my stomach. I hate how I've come to think about food. Anything other than what I've set aside for the day (which I eat in the evening) feels like an indulgence, and I end up berating myself for it. It feels awful waking up hungry and knowing you have to get through an entire day before you can eat. And when you do eat, it's not even enough to make you feel full. My coursework has suffered, my performance as part of the dance team has suffered (I'm pretty sure all my choreographers are mad at me), and I just feel like shit. After this morning, and after my £10 lunch, I feel like I can't do it any more. I could talk to Student Support, who could help me, or I could talk to my Mum, who I'd rather talk to because I just want to talk to someone, and Student Support are likely to be rather impersonal, as well as possibly not understanding that I need to spend money on costumes if I want to take part in the competition, which I cannot drop out of. But I also want to keep this to myself. I'm not great at addition but I think I spent in the region of £1,000 on clothes, without realising. I don't really want to admit to that. I'm too embarrassed, and I don't know what Mum will say. This is one of the only times where I genuinely have no idea. I've been messaging her, and she knows I've been making unnecessary purchases, such as going on nights out and buying an asexual pride flag. I'm also afraid of how she's going to react when she finds out how little I've been eating for the past four weeks. I also don't want to go begging for money, either to Mum or to Student Support, when this is a situation I got myself into through pure stupidity. Especially when there are poor families in this very country who do this every day, who are poor through no fault of their own. I suppose there's a part of me, probably the part I need to get looked at by a therapist, that views this as my punishment. I deserve this. Another part of me thinks I can get through this. I have something to eat every day. I'm going home tomorrow, for a weekend, and I'll be fed then. I've done four weeks. I can make it another six. I just don't know how to tell Mum. I'd feel better doing it at the other end of a phone, but I want to make sure she's online. I don't want to just leave a message there for her to find. I just want it to stop. It's taken over my life. It makes me feel miserable and I can't stop thinking about how hungry I am and all the food I want to eat. It's taken all the enjoyment out of food as well. I just want someone to come and shovel food into my mouth, TBH.
Sorry to hear it, and I hope everything works out. Probably not what you want to hear, but I'd call your mom. Better you do it than some doctor after you're hospitalized for malnutrition.
1) call your parents 2) Talk to the bank - you can probably extend your overdraft 3) prioritise - dance competition costumes are not the priority over food, yeah sure you want to enter, but you don't have to, use that £60 to get some basic food stuffs like pasta, rice, lentils, tins of beans and so on 4) economise - there's no way lunch should cost £10 - however you do need to eat three times a day, and economising will enable you to do that 5) look at what you can sell - you've got a £1000's worth of new clothes for a start (also some places will let you return new purchases within 30 days if they've still got tags) 6) you can get a job, because you have to - students up and down the country do it all the time - this goes back to point 3 - if you've got the time to enter dance competitions you could be spending that time stacking shelves, putting shit in boxes, or working behind a bar.. you may not want to, but you've got yourself into a position where you have to. 7) lastly - although all of the above is a bit tough love - don't beat yourself up too bad, students do this sort of thing all the time... in my first year i blew my grant (yeah i'm that old), my loan, and my overdraft, mostly on alcohol and drugs... I wound up taking most of the steps outlined above including bar work four nights a week, selling a large part of my possessions and borrowing money from my family to get back straight.
I did the same...for five stupid years of college...I'm finally paying off the loans a decade later and I still have no degree. I had to join the military or basically become homeless without a degree. Mind you, I still don't have one, I'm just working on it now...with a full time job that travels... @EstherMayRose basically what I'm saying is, it can go down hill extremely fast, and it looks like you're teetering on the edge. Moose's pointers are seriously the only way you're going to get out of it, since I sincerely doubt you're going to sign yourself over to a military program like I did. Talking about it and therapy probably aren't going to help you as much as getting cash in hand by the ways he mentioned. The tough lesson I learned: No one is going to save you but yourself.
This probably isn't the most ethical advice, but I've found that dating is a decent way to get a free meal when you're broke. You can usually get around three dates with a guy before they start expecting something more than dinner or start feeling taken advantage of.
As a guy that wasn't really an option for me Ligging is an option if you're in a party town (thats where you gate crash, or bullshit your way into, a launch event, or conference, to take advantage of the free buffet and drinks...)
I bit the bullet and talked to my mum. We had a chat about what I could make from what I had, and she said she'd buy me a few non-perishable things. I'm planning to pay back the money when I get my next lot of loan. I might pull out of the dance competition. I'm feeling overwhelmed and too tired and my course has to come first. I'm just not sure how the teachers will take that, given that they'll have to re-block everything and it's only a month away. I feel really bad making her pay for my bad decisions. I've spent a while looking on job websites, but they all want experience or skills I don't have. So instead, I've been looking at what I can sell. Obviously, there are the clothes. I have a lot. I've taken the tags off now but since they're new I can sell them for near what I got them for. I'm not sure what else I could sell. I don't have much stuff apart from what I need for my course and cooking/cleaning stuff. I could raid my bedroom when I go home.
Don't let that discourage you. I hire people with no experience all the time if I like their personality, attitude and work ethic. That's what training is for. I'll take a kid who wants to learn over an entitled 20 year vet almost every time. Too many bad habits.
Agreed just apply, apply, apply. My job required on the postings master's degree in material science or life science engineer fields, and ten years microscopy experience. I had neither. I have said job. Apply.
Exactly. Can you show up to work on time? Not call out? Stay reasonably sober? Stay off you phone? Keep busy (or at least appear to stay busy)? Keep your politics to yourself? Get along with guests? Tolerate coworkers you don't like? Be about your business? Keep your bullshit at home? Follow direction? Do what you're told even if you don't agree? Execute the steps during go-time? Realize that nobody cares about your opinions? Show up. Do your job. Count your money. Go home. Life is hard. Work is easy.
Something to keep in mind is that a sizable percentage of jobs aren't usually advertised. I know that makes things more difficult if you're not socially inclined, but making inquiries and having a résumé ready has been, at least in my experience, far more effective at finding me employment than looking online ever has been.
Perhaps you can try and return the clothes? And just... cut away everything non-essential? This may seem to be a bit cruel, but if you're really need that energy, cancel the dance thing.
Hugs, and kicks, but mostly hugs. You're an artist. Every art needs a patron, for a moment or a lifetime. Never be afraid to ask for help, it's part of the path. You don't get anything by not asking. Look at the labels, then buy the biggest size of the cheapest thing with the most nutrition. More hugs
that - job websites are the last place to look for the sort of part time gig economy work a student needs. Go into every pub in town, especially the ones the students frequent - and say 'have you got any bar work' - ditto coffee shops for barrista work, local shops , ask local firms about warehouse work, go and see the local temp agencies. Also don't forget the university itself - some hire students to do KP work in the canteen, or cleaning... then there's the SU bar. I once picked up a cash in hand job helping the contractors who were installing new furniture in the uni offices purely because I was passing as two of them were manhandling furniture parts out of a van in the pissing rain... I held the door for them, stopped and had a chat and just asked them 'do you need any casual labour' - they called their foreman and he put me on for £50 a day cash... that was worth about £450 over the next couple of months
So... last night of shootings and... my actress never showed up. Lol. The story of my life. I just hope she's ok and she didn't break up with her boyfriend or anything... Yes, I'm speaking from experience. It's something like a curse during my shootings schedule. We can reschedule, it's not like she quit or something. It's just that since I still had the rented camera today and I have to return it tomorrow and we only needed 2 hours tops, I mean 2 hours if we pulled it from the tits, it would have been soooo much better if we wrapped it up forever tonight. Oh, well. Anyways I've already lost the deadline (the premieres are tomorrow), I've already known that. At least I'll have time to make a decent montage this time around. Mostly, in this short I've focused upon technical things. Difficult shots that are going to need heavy editing. Cloning a person twice in a frame, which means that the lighting must be perfect or else. I even made a trick in order to shoot from the ceiling for fucks sake. I really hope that I lighted the scene correctly or everything will fall apart. At least we've got tons of bloopers. Proof that we really tried.
Yes, indeed it sounds a little macabre everytime I say this. Is there another way to express this without sounding like the mafia?
Having my calls being ignored by my mum for 4 weeks hurts. I think I'll just give up altogether, as my phone won't accept international calls or texts anyway. I've run out of things to say to her answer phone at this point. I wouldn't mind if I knew what the problem was, but I have no idea and no way of knowing. So much for family.
I miss the good old days when you get in an argument and the other person can smack me in the face. Man those were the days, just doesn't work so well in text format.