The Not Happy Thread

Just tell the ladies you've got a foot and a half....

 

Before I moved to Cascade, the two Pizza Huts I frequented the most, Manchester and Dyersville, were among the many in Iowa which closed this week.

Had many good times at both of them.

https://kmch.com/blog/2020/09/08/manchester-among-pizza-hut-locations-suddenly-closed/

 

We don't have a single coffee shop left downtown, I think. One might come back, but I'm not betting on it.

 

Starbucks will be back.

Starbucks will always be back.

 

We have four or five Starbucks, just not downtown. Most of the smaller or independent places were downtown.

 

Great. Now I'm thinking of a Starbucks Terminator. It has an integrated coffee making machine.

 

So I went to the gym yesterday, following all national and local health guidelines. Masks are required at all times, when you come in you need to first alcohol-spray your hands and then take your temperature with one of those no-touch gun type thermometers.

"Lo."

I know my temp tends to run low, and I know the gun bottoms out at 35c/95f, but I've always been somewhere between 35.5 and 36.5. Zapped myself again.

"Lo."

And twice more. Thinking there might be a problem with the battery, I called one of the staff over. He looked and decided to check my arm rather than my forehead.

"Lo."

And my neck.

"Lo."

Then he checked himself to make sure the machine wasn't broken.

"36.8"

Then me again.

"Lo."

This is in the "Not Happy" thread because if I ever hit 37.1/98.7 or whatever, the point where an overly cautious medical professional might think you had a mild fever, I'd be, well, near death. It's happened to me before, when I could feel all the achy fevery horrible feelings but got told by the corpsman that I was only a 98.3 and thus didn't need any treatment.

Ah well, something's going to kill me one of these days. Might as well be my own metabolism.

 

I'm that way with my blood pressure, naturally very low. Every time I give blood, they measure it twice, even though I tell them ahead it will read that way.

 

I feel we're starving for any kind of accurate or respectful depictions of Haitian Vodou/ Louisiana Voodoo in Western fiction. It tends to be treated as a kind of religion of evil, there is rarely much detail and what details are there are often inaccurate and/or conglomerates of multiple things. Not to say there are no good depictions but I can't think of any that are free from this fairly obvious problem.
I'm not expert and I'm obviously not a practitioner, but the way it is often depicted is just easily correctable by a simple google search.
For one, there tends to be an idea of it is a religion of black magic. This largely comes from bokors (or caplata for feminine), who are use "both hands" in using darker magics and have more mixed motives, in contrast to hougans (or mambo for feminine) who are priests. But the "both hands" metaphor reflects the fact bokors are not evil either, just more independent because they work for profit. Like almost everything else in the Vodou/Voodoo canon, they still ultimately serve Bondye the ultimate god.
Similarly, zombis aren't actually that aggressive from what I can tell. They are usually described doing gardening and other chores for a bokors. They are kind of dark but not nearly as monstrous and evil as the zombie virus version ala George Romero.
And finally, there only seems to one Loa in Western depictions. It's always based off Baron Samedi and they often have personality influences Met Carrefour/Kalfou (the closest to an evil Loa, but still not evil). Also Baron Samedi is basically anti-zombi so not sure why he's associated in media other than being a death god. Both AHS Coven and Father Brown tv use that name with a character that seems more like Samedi or Kalfou. Admittedly, Kalfou is sometimes described as an aspect of Papa Legba, much the same way as there are four Guédé death Barons, but it is odd not to use the name of the aspect you are referring to. And AHS' Legba, while a kind of intermediary has such a strong death association and Samedi look that he doesn't even resemble Kalfou much.
The Father Brown episode, aside from the questionable use of the Papa Legba name, is probably the best depiction I can think of, which isn't a high bar. I actually deals with syncreticism tactic Vodou/Voodoo used to survive Christian colonialism, which is now a major part of Vodou/Voodoo culture. And the depiction of a possession ritual, despite using what seems like the wrong name and the obligatory spook vibe, is relatively accurate to how Loa are supposed to be contacted. And it treats it as a valid religion with sympathetic practitioners not flavouring for villains. This feels like it should be the standard expectation for a reasonable depiction of a real and historically persecuted minority religion.
AHS' depiction, as well as including less relevant details and a more clearly conflated Loa depiction, treats Vodou as kind of a corrupting influence or representation of the dark side of Marie Leveau's character, even thought it seems to sympathise with Vodou practise. Her power made her overconfident, Papa Legba tempts her (despite being a morally neutral character he plays Faustus with her) and her powers are also part of some very dark revenge scenes. Legba is also only seen in terms of hell, which I'm not sure is a concept in Vodou outside syncreticism, and you never really get a depiction of him with heaven which makes him seem demonic (combined with gratuitous red eyes and a spooky voice)
My little rant. Anyone here who is an actual expert of practitioner please correct me if I made a mistake or said something misleading. My knowledge is more in the Haitian specifically, because most sources tend to refer to that most.

 

I've had something in my eye since yesterday and I can't get it out. I'm going crazy from the feeling.

 

It can't be helped; you have to remove the eyes.

 

BRB gotta do something real quick like.

 

Grapefruit spoons work well, or so I've heard. Make sure they're clean though or the juice will sting...

 

I went to urgent care and it appears I somehow scratched my eyeball. Getting eyedrops and then heading back to work.

I lead an absolutely thrilling life, I know.

 

I laughed...so hard at this.

 

I did this once. Got a paper cut right at the side so I could just see it. They put this orange glowing stuff in there and it looked awesome but hurt like hell. Eyedrops and a week with an eyepatch.

 

Omg ive done that before! It was wood from an eyeliner pencil that scratched it.
Thing was... I was on my way to interview for a volunteer position at a daycare/orphanage (i kid you not, i volunteered at an orphanage).
My eye was pinkish yellow and swollen. The nun kept looking at me like i had some kind of disease. I didnt want to scare the kids and thought of wearing an eye patch, but then i didnt want them to be even more afraid!

On a side note (and i dont remember this at all but i know it happened because i have the scar), apparently when i was 3ish, my brother and i were fighting over the remote control helicopter my dad got him. By brother got mad and flew the thing into my face and the blade sliced my eyeball.
If i look up and to the left, you can see the scar. Its always a conversation starter at the optometrist lol.

 

Boy, you got torn up a lot as a kid. You were almost killed playing hide and seek and almost lost an eye!

 

Oh thats not even the half of it!
Fell down the stairs in 4th grade and broke my ankle.... Basically, my medical record is as thick as a phonebook
And ill probably need a knee replacement by mid 30s

 

I think I hold a record for being the only kid to ever break his arm playing flag football.

 

Basically, i just had cruddy luck as a kid. Anything that COULD happen.... DID happen.

I got scratched by my cat.... After having cats all of my life.... And got CSD (eta: "cat scratch disease"... Sounds made up, but apparently is a thing) and got suuuuuuuper sick to the point where i was being tested for cancer (that was not fun) before they found out what was making me sick.

Then i got BIT by a different cat (he fell off my bunk bed and got caught inthe sheets and was freaking out and bit me in terror)
Hand and fingers got infected and after a week doctors had to scrape away the infected tissue.

.....thinking back.... I should have been in a friggin bubble!

 

...I actually broke someone else's leg during both flag football and ultimate frisbee during school hours. Good times.

As for getting tore up though, I'm pretty sure I can beat you all, but I'll reserve my injury bragging haha!

 

I think that after a decade of stalwart service and reliability, my Mac Mini may be fo'real-real dead.

 

Took me a moment to realize you meant one of Jobs's monsters and not something like this:



The White Castle Double Cheeseburger.

I've had salmonella, dysentery, and White Castle, and I prefer the first two.

 

Ahh, man. I have a special place in my heart for those horrendous abominations they call sandwiches.