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  1. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Short Story The slow reveal

    Discussion in 'Genre Discussions' started by deadrats, Mar 23, 2019.

    How quickly or slowly do you let your story unfold? I've been playing with the slow unfold, dispersing pieces of the story as they come into play which starts to mold the story. Does this make sense to anyone? It's not my usual approach, but I feel like it could be making my work better. Have you played with this method? What can and can't go wrong with it? What are the things to look out for?
     
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  2. XRD_author

    XRD_author Banned

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    I've been advised to foreshadow/hint as soon as a natural place to do so occurs, but not reveal it until the reader can actually make use of the knowledge. My reflex is to reveal everything at the first chance -- I'm so proud of myself for creating it, you see, I want to put it on display at every chance -- so making a conscious effort to delay helps introduce some of Donald Maass's micro-tension.
     
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  3. Fallow

    Fallow Banned

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    Will you pair this with a fairly rapid climax?

    It may or may not be a danger, but going slow means part of the story is slow, so something needs to balance it. That may not be a rapid climax, but whatever creates balance.
     
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  4. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    As I tweak the first two-thirds of my WIP, I find myself moving facts and the reveal of facts earlier. I'm a little worried that I'm stealing too much plot from the later part, but right now I think that the issue was that I was starving the earlier part--lots of character and relationship development, very little plot.

    And I think I was inserting an unacceptable amount of false suspense. I was, for example, creating a bunch of situations to justify the fact that a character was keeping a secret...and I finally realized that I don't need that to be a secret, and it's not a natural secret. I want a secret. I want a blackmail situation. But the secret I was using was pointless, and the reader was, IMO, likely to say, "Why...huh? Why does anybody care?" I need a natural secret, and I think I have one--one that when I (or it might have been a friend; we were in conversation) came up with it, made me say, "Ooh!"

    So I created a new scene that spreads that whole former-secret out like a buffet. There's a bit of a backstory flavor about it now, but I think I can fix that by inserting just a few lines in other scenes--a hint from Second Protagonist that makes Primary Protagonist curious, makes them fight for a bit more and be rebuffed, and finally Second Protagonist gives in and hands over the information. So I convert a lecture to a treasure hunt or a tug-of-war. I hope.

    Now I'm looking at the next "Why was I hiding that?" Big Reveal and debating whether to hand it over much, much earlier than I was originally planning. In this case, Kinda Antagonist has reached the point where they want Primary Protagonist to know this thing; there's very little excuse not to hand it over. I need to find an excuse to hide the further spread of the secret, but I have Kinda Antagonist as an ally--they don't want Second Protagonist to know the thing, either. So I think I can make that feel natural. We'll see.

    So, anyway, reveals are a thing I've been thinking about.

    (Now I'm trying to find where I read about false suspense.)
     
  5. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks for the responses. I don't really think a slow reveal of information needs to affect the pacing. I feel good about my pacing with this story. By the way, this story is done, but I'm tinkering. In my case, it's not really about keeping a secret or building tension, per se. I'm just looking for that sweet spot where everything seems to be in place. This is about a twenty page story. I think the slow reveal of information can prevent info dumps or the present narrative from some sort of derailment. I had some help from a writer I really admire in doing this for s different story and I think it improved it. With my first draft of my current short story I did not do this, and I felt the story was a little flat. I started it again with a blank document and played more with the puzzle pieces. For example, this guy loses his job and is telling his friend about it. The reason for getting fired is pretty clear, but I let the details unfold over the course of a dozen pages. That doesn't really slow down the story because there are other things going on. I'm not dragging out the story, but I'm trying not to drop big chunks down in a straightforward fashion. That's what I did with the first draft, and I wasn't very happy with it. So, I'm not trying to withhold information as much as I am trying to place it appropriately within the confines of this story. It changed the story completely. It's got traces of the original, but it is no longer the same story or even about the same thing anymore.

    I do feel like I'm reading more short stories that take this approach lately or maybe it's something I just wasn't picking up on before. These kind of short stories don't always have a sharp climax or any kind of big reveal most of the time. But maybe the slow reveal of information does create a sort of mind tension or at least forward motion that I don't feel like was there before. It sure is tricky to make it all work. I might be ready to have my lover read this one and/or send it out. Is this approach sort of "in" when it comes to short stories? Of course, it's been done for a long time my many authors, but there seems to be a lot of short stories doing this. Maybe I'm just a little behind on picking up such tricks.

    @XRD_author -- I'm like you in that my gut instinct is to put everything on the page as soon as it comes to me. I had to force myself not to do it with this one. Can you say anything more about the concept of micro-tension? Maybe that's what I was going for? It does create a layer and another story coexisting within the larger story. And I'm still talking about short stories here. Thanks.

    @Fallow -- I don't think this approach slows the story down. If anything I feel like the pacing is a bit quicker. But, oh, the climax... Let me just state that I am writing literary short fiction which often comes with subtle climaxes and loose ends. That's not something I want to change. But I understand the idea of balance. I'm striving for a balance that works. It's so hard to know if you're getting it right, isn't it?

    @ChickenFreak -- There sure are a lot of moving parts to a story, aren't there? I agree that somethings we thing will be a big reveal really aren't and should be moved up sooner. This short story is the second one I've written in a row where I thought I was going to reveal something big at the end and then in the next draft realized that those things I thought I was holding onto belonged sooner in the story. My big reveals were more like starting points for a story when I gave it some more thought. The information that I'm letting drip out slowly leading to a climax, but it's building a foundation while the story is taking place. Does that make any sense? I'm trying. I think this can work, but I'm unsure of how well I'm pulling it off. I'm not keeping a secrets. I'm letting the story unfold and form in a different way. Actually, another character has a secret, but that pretty much just gets blurted out. Sometimes it can be so hard to know if we're making the right decisions with our stories.
     
  6. XRD_author

    XRD_author Banned

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    Quotes from Donald Maass, Writing 21st Century Fiction, (2012 paperback, Writer's Digest Books)

    Here's how it works: when you create in the reader an unconscious apprehension, anxiety, worry, question or uncertainty, the reader will unconsciously seek to relieve that uneasiness. And there's only one way to do that: Read the next thing on the page. -- p. 130.

    The unifying principle of micro-tension is [usually] conflicting emotions." -- p. 132
    [Edit:]
    So, imagine you're describing the MC's combat gear by having the MC inspect it before battle. Have the MC notice that something's not optimal, but have them consciously not be worried about, because it won't matter. That will create micro-tension: the reader will dread that it will matter. :)

    "Hey, Bob, I've only got one clip for my rifle. Should I go back to the depot and get more?"
    "Nah, Jim, this mission's a cakewalk. You won't need one round, much less a full clip."​

    This almost guarantees that Jim's going to run out of ammo. :) Or not, because it doesn't matter whether he runs out, as long as you create the dread -- in the readers mind, not his -- that he will.

    Maass is one of the better craft authors. The above book and his The Emotional Craft of Fiction are both worth reading.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2019
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  7. cosmic lights

    cosmic lights Contributor Contributor

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    A slow reveal of information does not have to affect the pacing, match the pacing with the leaking of information.
    A slow reveal can build the suspense in your work as long as you keep it going and don't have long periods of time where your big reveal gets forgotten or no information gets leaked at all. Just because you're slowing down the amount of information provided doesn't mean the overall pace has to slow down, you can keep the characters on target and working towards their goal.

    Foreshadow it. The ending or big reveal needs to feel surprising, yet inevitable. You can be far more heavy handed with foreshadowing than people think, so hang a lantern on it and glowing lights - like they did in the movie "The Sixth Sense". The truth was slapping you in the face the whole time and most people didn't pick up on the big reveal.

    Red herrings. Something that seems like information, putting a forward projection on the plot can work as well.

    Try and fail missions. Characters think something (usually false information) they attempt to do something only to discover they were wrong and it all goes pear shaped but they learn new information from their misguided actions.

    Character Introspection slows down the pacing of a story, but if this is done deliberately and carefully as a counterpoint to faster-paced scenes, it can be extremely effective.

    Getting beta readers to look at it would also be good. They'll soon tell you if it's too slow. This will help you to learn pacing, but what you were doing before (unless told otherwise) could have been perfect pacing.
    I tend not to play with things unless told they need work. But it's always fun. Hope I said something useful.
     
  8. Lifeline

    Lifeline South. Supporter Contributor

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    For what it's worth, I believe that giving info in huge chunks (or going for the lightbulb moment) is unnatural. I mean, how often in real life is it like that? Is it really you sit down and then because of something someone said you get presented with all the facts? Or is it more often a piecing together of information bits, until for you it all comes together and you build a big picture of events, or motives?

    That's the reason why I almost never give info in huge chunks, but there are clues cluttered all over the place/the writing that lets the reader build up their own picture. They are intelligent. They'll get it, if only subconsciously. These clues all point to the theme of the short. So when I put it in words it's not a surprise per se, but it feels fitting. Word mechanic pacing, and plot pacing is completely different.
     
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  9. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Oh, I so relate to this dilemma.

    It's very tempting, when beginning to write a long novel, to create 'mystery.' That can woefully backfire, especially if the mystery turns out to be no big deal (false suspense.) However, it might be something important your POV character knows but doesn't let on to the reader. Unless this is well-handled, the reader can end up feeling cheated.

    At the same time, it's good to consider how a Big Reveal might enhance the story. Sometimes people like that sort of thing, sometimes they don't. The trick is to make it as un-gimmicky as possible. It's not easy to pull off.

    I am pleased that my second novel won't be keeping any secrets. Unfortunately my first novel contains an important POV character who does keep important information to himself. He has a reason for this—and needs to do so for the first part of the book—but trying to achieve the balance of revealing too much to the reader early on, versus maintaining a believeable POV without revealing everything, was a bit of an exercise for me. By the feedback I'm getting now, from people who are currently reading the final version, I think I've managed it. But I won't put myself in that position again.

    Good luck getting yours to work, @ChickenFreak . It's a device that can create major story payoff, if it works.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2019
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  10. Fallow

    Fallow Banned

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    To answer your question literally, we sit down and get huge chunks of information all the time. Someone reveals a fact and then we ask questions until we're satisfied, or we find a document and read the whole thing. But in neither case is that process passive, and a lot of the kind of reveal you're talking about in stories happens passively as the characters get hints about something but are socially, professionally or otherwise restrained from asking pertinent questions.

    And, of course, reading is passive, so the author can feed us information in bits and pieces in a way we really wouldn't tolerate in real life.
     

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