Discussion in 'Strong Character Contest' started by Funny Bunny, Oct 3, 2007.
story has been deleted from this site, thanks for reading
I am loathe to criticise your language but if it is helpful to you, perhaps I should tell you what I think. I can't understand the dialogue. Perhaps it is because I am British but then this forum is open to people all over the world and those who have English as their second language speak it as I do and will also have difficulty. Sorry, perhaps others disagree?
Due to a technical error I was forced to remove some poets. thank you.
I'll respond in more detail later on (bedtime right now), but good God is that a fine example of a sentence.
I found the text confusing, like you were switching focus too quickly.
But lordie did I love the tone.
Separate names with a comma.