So I am wondering a few things regarding how I am portraying Corlixia as far as her little misadventure of running around off the leash, so to speak. Reason I bring up that it is a negative character arc for her, is mainly due to the internal conflict she goes through constantly in trying to divorce herself from her evil sadistic side, and using it as an instrument to gain ground on achieving her overall mission. Part of me is unsure if keeping the vast majority of the implied things she has done to get where she is now, as implied to kinda make her feel less bad than the bad guys in terms of being evil. And the wall paper is peeling off the walls, as she gets closer to meeting her goals. While it is partly altruistic in saving her comrades, and the other with the emotional attachment she has with Marckus. But wait there is a little bit more! She kinda has an extremely strong friendship with Janxica, and they kinda sent her in ahead of them getting in to work her magic in hacking into things and helping them out with the tech stuff, cause that is what you do with a 20cm tall computer wiz. So up to speed Cor gets "let in" by being captured, and that is kinda the moment the wall paper was really starting to peel. While the vast majority of things are off screen, by simply replaying a satisfying moment in cornering a Grey and having them beg for his mother, to a small part in which Marckus hears about and sees security footage of her hunting down and putting on little horror shows for the security cams, from the lady that has been torturing him for well over two months. In a way, I feel I should save the really in depth and horrifying and morbid acts for more big moments for her that really impact her. To put a bit more weight behind it all, and still feed into her credibility as being a really scary person that her old title and reputation gained her in the first place. On another vein, I am kinda saving up the torture tokens for letting her go ultra sadist on Mr. Twig (creepy guy that is the ladies partner that has been torturing Marckus). This would in theory be a twisted form of justice and possibly catharsis (with a pinch of redeemability?). Hopefully you have made it this far, sorry but without context this question wouldn't be relevant. Would you as a reader still find Cor a likable character, despite taking a negative turn for good reasons? I am most curious to see what you all think about her as a character, and the implication and position she finds herself in, in relation to being self aware of the consequences (that will be swept under the rug, cause well the mission is off the books), can still be considered a decent character despite taking on in her own admission as being one of her worst qualities, and yet feels guilty for loving it so much. Thank you much.
For me it would depend on what she had actually done, what her motives were, and if those actions were really justified within the parameters of her intentions. If she did bad things for good reasons and those things were necessary, and if she is genuinely remorseful, then I could still find her likeable. But if she did those things for bad reasons, or did them with good intentions but exercised incredibly poor judgement to the point where those actions weren't necessary, I think I would find her harder to like. If the former is the case, I think you should show it all up front. That way the character's journey will be even more meaningful as a tale of redemption. If the latter is the case, then perhaps foreshadow but don't show it all, to allow the reader to identify with her, then reveal the more grisly details as time passes. By that point it will be too late - the reader will already like her.
@mashers Perhaps these two snippets from her in the first book should be helpful in trying to figure out which would be the best route to take. Now partly bruised and torn from my examination, I retire to my makeshift sanctuary. Bandaged and weary, yet compelled to organize my things. A tedious task on it’s own. Better to be comfortable after the intrusion of my being. Tenderly I begin to set up my disrupted way of life. Organizing and setting out my things in a familiar fashion. Anticipation grows in my weary frame. Longing to get to work as soon as my strength returns. Reveling in the memory of caving in that Terran’s chest plate with the war hammer. Knowing it is not my preference, but still satisfying. The tearing of cartilage and crushing of bone under the heavy mallet. I suppose my hosts do not see things as I do. Possibly from having the pleasure of actual combat on a regular basis. I envied them in my frail being. Never able to be adequate on a proper battlefield. Much to frail and analytical, I should stick to my own tact and prowess. I have no place in a war zone of any kind. The thought thrills my imagination as to what really takes place on such a stage. Gazing at the collection of harvested hides of the many I have seen, I take pause. Is what I do, let alone a warrior, really worthy of such a thing as honor? Eyes passing the many symbols and names forever staining the stretched skins. To take the life of those who dared to fight for those they loved, or for their beliefs? This I do not understand. Though I am in the company of trained killers and assassins. I suppose in time I will learn to understand this, and in time atone for the blood on my own hands. Placing the instruments of destruction that I possess, I begin to weep. The first time that this has ever happened to me. The hot tears searing a path down my slender face, burning a path to drop off my chin. Streaking my face, the reminder of all those that sacrificed their very souls and bodies to defend their beliefs. It all starts to burn from my eyes like an acid rain, as I complete the final touches on my new abattoir. Wiping the burning moisture from my face with guilty reluctant digits. *** In an odd way, I can see the light shed on the many happy ending tales. The good defeats the evil, but who defines who is good, and who is evil? This thought has been playing in the back of my mind since reading the first few stories. In my own way I feel that I am both good and evil. Drawing a blurred line in my cognitive abilities of understanding. One side I do enjoy to inflict unspeakable torment on those who truly deserve it or not. The other I just want to live free from the bondage I have been enticed into. Torn between the conflicting ideals. Though either can be poison in its own way. My thin fingers rubbing my pointed chin in thought. Perhaps in the middle ground, there are necessary evils to achieve an overall betterment in the end. Life is not as black and white as I was first lead to perceive it to be. Rather a complex unseen organism that only offers choices of which we must choose to follow. These choices seem as endless as the very vastness of space itself. There are so many unanswered questions left unresolved. This bothers me in not knowing them. For instance I do not even know who my parents are, let alone if I ever had parents. I do not even know my name, other than the title I had earned so many centuries ago. A vulgar flattery on the face of it. Sad to think I know more about those I have made suffer, than I know of myself. Perhaps there is someone out there that can shed some light on me. I wish to have a purpose of my own, and not one that was imposed upon me. Thus far I have tried to learn to be more than what I have been. Since being plucked from the blackened surface of the only place I dared to call home. Been shown what it is like to be regarded as more than a monster, or autonomous machine. Simply following instructions at another’s request. The memory of taking that Terran’s life with that war hammer. I wonder if he had a family, a life outside of his service to the Confederation. Unable to escape the many that have been sculpted for the worse, I stare at my hands disdainfully. Haunted by the pleading and begging of the many beings that I have hurt. If only there were some way to counteract the monster I have become. Unable to un-hear the cries for mercy, the pleading to return safely back to loved ones and friends. The many secrets revealed, both personal and militarily involved. The many faces flash throughout my dreams each night, plaguing me with the ultimate question of why. My face buried in my hands, I howl in an unseen pain. The multiple scars on my mind burning brightly like stars. Burning rivers flow from my tightly clenched eyes. Dripping on to the thick pages. This new pain burning through my very being. I would rather take the place of those poor souls. Not one of them, nor those that asked it of me. Pleading to the emptiness to undo what has been done. Burning in a hell that I was forced to participate in. Raising my moistened face to the ceiling, unleashing a long scream as the fires burn me inside. Piercing the silence with my agonizing cries of my torture.
This is wonderful. The character is questioning herself, her motives, even society as a whole ("who defines who is good, and who is evil?") She's asking the big questions while searching her soul to answer the personal ones. Even from these two short extracts, I love this character.
That is why I am having trouble putting the worse qualities she has in the lime light. And I don't really want her to be seen as being an aimless character, but using what she knows as a tactical advantage by asserting her knowledge of causing pain and fear since they really don't have much in the way of man power. I just think it should be less seen in terms of the graphic bits, until there is something that really touches a nerve with her, vs just undermining the intrinsic value of what she is trying to do in order of her attempt to succeed in her mission.
I don't think it matters how graphic or violent it is if she's asking these questions. I would say that as long as you show this side of her first, or at least really early on, you'll keep the reader on side.
The first is from about page 30, and the next one is about 20 pages later. There is also another personal reflection the next morning after 'passing' her final medical test, by saving a female plant alien in surgery. Figured it would make sense for her to use her time during PT to think about things she hadn't thought about before. Though it takes place quite a bit later in the story. So I will consider your thoughts on the matter, and see how I can squeeze some of those elements into her part of the narrative in the sequel. Thank you for your input.
No worries! If you're really worried, you could foreshadow those reflections with a really short passage at the very beginning, before launching into exposition of what she actually did. Something as simple has her looking out over a battlefield and feeling the tears starting to flow, having a sense of regret, doubting herself... any of that would plant a seed that while reading the description of her actions, would make me doubt whether she really wanted to do it.
