Things that annoy me but shouldnt, part 2

Watching the news.

 

I can't think of a reason in the world why that shouldn't annoy you.

 

Sitting here listening to my two objectively stupidest coworkers wind each other up at the prospect of becoming professional gamblers.

Their crypto investments have... well and they're looking for a new way to get rich quick.

 

I don’t know if this is a parting phrase used elsewhere, but here - especially with the older generation - it’s very common to part company with a “Bye, Fred. Look after yourself.”

That annoys me. The ‘Look after yourself’ bit. Are these people worried the person they’re saying it to is likely to go home and start drinking bleach or something, or tea laced with arsenic? Or are they simply advising the person to eat healthily and take more exercise?

 

Commonly used here when a visitor is departing from home: "Bye, Fred. Travel safe." Now I'll wonder if Fred will be annoyed and think I'm warning him not to roar down the highway in a drunken stupor fifteen miles over the speed limit texting as he goes. Then there is, "Bye, Fred, Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Of course, given my propensity to pursue high adventure sports and general eccentricity, that gives Fred a wider choice of activities than he'd have should my conservative friend Rita use the phrase. Ooo, and how about, "Bye, Fred. Have a good time." That could result in Fred snarling, "If I want to be miserable at my wedding, who are you to tell me I can't?"

This is fun. Thanks, OurJud.

 

'Drive safely' is one of my annoyances, but the GOAT is 'Have a nice day!"' Thanks, but I had other plans.

 

Verbal social amenities- so delightful. When I retired after 12 years with the same firm, one of the attorneys said in a jovial manner, "Don't let the door hit you in the butt," to which I replied with equal joviality, "Don't let it hit you in the face." He looked a tad shocked. Turkey.

 

Always delivered with a big, shit-eating grin, I'm sure. My college friends and I went through a similar "See you in hell!" phase at one point.

"You going out to the bar tonight?"
"Nah, I got to study."
"All right. I'll see you in hell."
"See you in hell, Bob!"

 

Which implicitly gives permission and even encouragement to do things that you would do, like have special snuggle times with Mr. Grace.

 

Well, Fred could give it a try, but even if Fred is a nickname for Fredericka or Winifred, I don't think Fred would get very far.

 

This influx of ‘personal trainers’ we’ve had recently. We’re parked up in the park having our mid morning break and across the field there’s three ‘big boned’ ladies being instructed by a much slimmer lady. I’ve heard these people and they sound about as qualified as me to give exercise advise. Not that you need to be qualified to tell someone how to burn calories, but I bet you they’re charging qualified prices.

 

Depending on Fred's state of mind at any given time, perhaps there are times when Fred doesn't look after himself, even unknowingly.

 

Have they tried pachinko yet?

 

Like asking "how are you?", as if anyone actually cares.

 

Why do they all want to go to Michigan?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan

 

Yup! Best thing to do there is unload all your trivial woes until they regret asking.

 

I had no idea that polite social amenities had such dire effects on so many folks.

 

So, people who start every sentence with “So”. Why do they do it! So, I think they probably don’t even know they’re doing it.

So, fuck off.

 

So, I couldn't agree more. Hate it. It seems a very modern thing. Do they teach it in uni or something?

 

To be fair I’ve heard bloody scientists in BBC Four documentaries saying it.

Presenter: “Why do think [bla bla bla bla]?”
Scientist: “So, we believe this is happening because [bla bla bla]”

 

So what?

 

NSFW: language

 

Been reading about Search Engine Optimization and I now understand why the first several pages of search results are almost all links to comparison sites (The Top Ten ...whatever) and mostly worthless.