Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

‘So Hunni, how was your Marvel action hero movie?’

‘’

‘Good good. And you have a new game for the computer? Wizard! I’ll see you upstairs in 5...’

 

I can’t reply properly @J, I’m in a box at work

 

The instruction booklet that came with my new keyboard has 50 pages, 5 of them in English.

 

I learnt the art of optimal forking from a master (my string vested bedsit landlord of an eon ago). He'd slouch on his couch, 45 degrees, supersized plate (accommodating supersized meal) on one hand (like a butler holds a tray) and curiously wide fork in the other. He'd bulldoze the food with the back of the fork into his open gob (like a croupier pushes gambling chips (sans any finesse)). As objectionable as it was I secretly found it admirable and indulge in this—sneak binge when no-one's home.

 

That’s American, same w circumcision

 

You binge on circumcision when nobody's home? Hmm. Well we all have our hobbies, I suppose.

 

Y'all are talking about forks, and I remember the weird phase of eating
nearly everything with chopsticks.
Have to say it is quite tricky to eat canned ravioli with them, but you
haven't lived till you've tried it.

 

I can manage chopsticks, when socially necessary, and they are certainly elegant. But I am always thinking, "Okay, but I do know a much more efficient way to get food into me!"

Generally, I'm an openminded person, but not about my eating utensils! Mind you, chopsticks would be great for a weight-loss programme. Can you 'pig out' with chopsticks? Dunno.

 

Then we have the Fork-Spoon-Knife all in one. (kinda a strange utensil)

 

I remember the spork and the foon, but never the kniforoon.

 

Ooo minimalist cutlery!

I like to eat with my hands if I can, cos why not.
I prefer not to use a knife at all if I can avoid it. Most things I eat can be cut with the side of the fork, as I'm not into steaks, bacon and such.
I drink from the can or bottle where I can too (especially if on a date-just don't ask me why). Only thing I use a glass for is fruit juice, cos drinking straight from the carton seems odd to me. I actually think that coke tastes better from the can than decanted into a glass. My mum would be horrified though, so don't tell her I said that.

 

Ahem...

No, seriously, the learning curve on chopsticks is pretty steep, but once you get used to them, they become really natural. I remember the first time I was presented with a green salad and only chopsticks to eat with (this was at a Benihana's-style place back in the states, long before I moved here) and I was like "How the hell am I supposed to do this?" Now I feel the same way when presented with the leafies and only a fork. There are some things that even the Chinese use spoons for, such as fried rice. Regular Asian rice is sticky and clumps together, but when it's fried the grains get coated in oil and no longer form a mass, hence the need for a spoon.

And Chinese spoons were designed by idiots to make you look inelegant and spill your food.

 

"That's no Spoon. That's a mini Ladle."

 

Exactly, and just as easy to eat with.

 

I know. Though I don't see the purpose of the groove in the handle.
It isn't like it is a reservoir that one puts in their mouth and lets the soup
drain from the basin (bowl?) part of it.

 

Yeah, I'm sure there were reasons, but when eating soup, you get travel rations (if you have a beard) or a messy shirtfront (if you don't), and when eating solids like fried rice, it's almost impossible to elegantly get all the food out of the spoon; your lips don't sweep the whole basin.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_spoon

 

But it is the serving spoon? Surely an excellent option down Won Kei’s first time in ‘93 but not exactly the ‘way to go.’

Shame akin to having a wife who uses a spoon [and fork] with her spaghetti portion? Gross offence,,

[update: 1970s wife issue]

 

Out of curiosity how was the tit stage experience? Surely university opened your eyes to a world of culinary diversity.

[emphatic]

 

Certain to be some industrial revolution def: re ‘donkey shit catch & spit to “chucker” [sic].’

 

This might be the best thing I've ever read on this forum!