Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

Dear Worm,

It has come to my attention that your performance in regards to your work ethic
most concerning. This is the second time you have been behind schedule in filing
the quarterly reports for our enterprise. And you are often tardy when your shift
starts.
So I must ask myself what should I do with this vermin not fit to lick the scum off
my shoes? Perhaps a bit straightening out with your habitual misbehavior is in order.
I will not tolerate this kind of conduct, period.
Taking up the mantle to sort you out, and get you back on track with your work, you
will be taught to be a good and obedient little drone, and you will like it. Because every
time you dick around on my clock, it not only makes the company look bad, it makes
me look bad. I trust you can understand where I am going with this, you insolent little
brat.
If you wish to keep your position at this establishment you will be up here in my office,
on your knees, and willing to learn how to be me more respectful to me and this company.
You have fifteen minutes to get your happy little ass here. See you soon.

Your Boss,
Miranda Westenfield XOXO

 

Things that annoy me but shouldn't?

Loud R&R in stores and supermarkets. I never did like that music but should have lost that fetish long ago. On the other hand, any loud music there is distracting.

Senseless changes in fashions. Why didn't that stop with short shorts and string bikinis? Why go back to long dresses?

Charlie - hvysmker.

 

@Lemie

You don't have to use 'dear' and 'sincerely.'

I tried 'Hello' last week, and it was probably a mistake.

This was too informal an approach across the screen - and the warmth did not translate. It's a fault of mine with e-mails. Sometimes the method works, the 'hey buddy,' but generally one should wait an hour and draft it all professionally, or sit up straight and 'switch on.' Sometimes even my wife drafts me over, and turns me more the monstrous Linkedin monster, Clarke Kent with my hair sweeped, and she stops me being so ever so chatty on the floor-sweeping job employment opportunity, for example.

' I couldn't give a fuck but don't mind a conversation with you, chum' is a controversial approach - unless you are Scandinavian.

Because Scandi & the terse manners/mannerisms are well understood in froo-froo Anglo-Americana, unless your correspondee is dumb. And in that case you just fuck 'em off, metaphor.

 

I'm just unlucky enough that people from the Neatherlands are doing the same stuff.

Though I do love an angry e-mail starting with "dear". Feels like I've been married for about thirty years and I'm probably sleeping on the sofa tonight - but still does not feel more professional to me. Though I will try not to judge them too hard since it's apparently normal to the rest of this world.

 

"
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

― Oscar Wilde

 

When Pigs and Slobs have nice, elegant names or share names with my Characters.

 

My Shadow... My shadow annoys me... with it's long, thin build and with my RX smocks, my Satchel and Military style hat, I look like a soldier. . When i reality i'm a goofy looking fucker with some unpleasant bodyfat.

 

The tone of certain languages. Some can grate on my nerves quite easily an I've not the faintest idea why.

 

Perhaps you haven't heard it from the right person yet.

 

The new beaten to death term "Bad Actor" by the current U.S. administration and Media really chaps my hide.

 

My window has been occasionally creaking for an hour or two at least. Then, to make matters worse, the TV gets turned on.

 

I am certain they will only take small bites.....

 

The whole pseudo-militarization of American English is getting to me. POTUS has ordered the NSC to consider sending SPEC-OP operators to deal with bad actors in USAC.

 

This, this right here.

 

When people muck up other threads outside of the Donald Trump thread with politics! There's a thread for it, which I deliberately avoid!

 

Chirpy morning birds who decide to sing at 2 AM, giving me a heart attack as I suddenly think I've stayed up four or five hours later than I really have.

 

We have relegated the praise of the Taco to Tuesday.....

 

The Cult of the Taco was never one to make wise decisions.

 

People who say haitch instead of aitch.

 

Hwell, hwatever do you mean...?

 

Liquid hwite

 

Say Hwen......

 

When people give a little prayer before eating. And yes, this does make me look like a jackass.

It has no impact on me in any way, no one’s forcing me to pray before I eat...but it still makes my skin crawl. It’s like, “God damn it, just eat the fucking thing! Why do you have to give a prayer of thanks? You’re not starving to death in the middle of the desert in some third-world country! It didn’t magically plop on your table from the fucking sky — you cooked it yourself!”

 

As a card-carrying Grammar Goon, I rise to object to the misuse of the word, "survivor". Just being a student at a school where a shooting occurred doesn't make you a survivor, unless you were in the room(s) where and when the shooting took place, and not necessarily then. Similarly, being molested by a creepy gymnastics doctor makes you a Larry Nassar victim, not a Larry Nassar survivor.