1. tolintino

    tolintino New Member

    Jul 28, 2016
    Likes Received:

    This One is Terrible - Do We Need a Joke Thread?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by tolintino, Jul 28, 2016.

    A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
    months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when
    he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

    As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You
    have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were
    there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got
    shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
    When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know

    "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with

    "I think you're bad luck."
    Sack-a-Doo! and Malisky like this.
  2. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

    May 21, 2009
    Likes Received:

    Do you know why you shouldn't wear Russian underpants?

    Because Chernobyl fallout.
  3. Malisky

    Malisky Fortune cookie Contributor

    Apr 11, 2012
    Likes Received:
    Where still days stand eternally.
    Got this one from the intro of a trance song I've been listening:

    Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.

    -If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
    -If you are Codependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
    -If you are Multiple Personality, pres 3 4 5 6
    -If you are Paranoid, we know what you are, what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
    -If you are Delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
    -If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
    -If you are Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.
    -If you are Dyslexic, press 69696969
    -If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep, after the beep, please wait for the beep.
    -If you have a Short Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.
    -And if you have No Self-Esteem, hang up all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
    Acanthophis likes this.

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