It's been a while since I last posted so this may be under the wrong place but here goes... Basically I am looking for some lose feedback on a very general story idea. It is one that has been stuck in my head for so long that it is holding me back from pursuing other ideas. It's a horror/thriller novel that grew from a "What if" situation and has changed somewhat over the last few months and still needs tweaking but heres the basic run down... keep in mind of a return to classic 80's horror. "What if" A Tony Robbins type character (or other mega motivator) kept annoying his friends on how they could improve their lives and reach their goals. he means to well but comes off as pretentious and rude. After much coxing, he convinces his friends to go on a retreat to "find themselves" where he tells them all that "If it's the last thing he does, he will see them all realize their dreams." The friends get drunk and play a prank on this guy and (may or may not die, hes a survivalist after all) Now, pissed off (and maybe back from the dead) he hunts then down one by one and kills them in a manner related to their life ambitions. (ie: goal/nurse might get needles to death or goal/rockstar might get pumped full of drugs or head tied to a deathly loud speaker) yadayada yada.. until the final battle
Sounds like a fun tale of intrigue, also maimed people. Though your Tim will have to get on that after his cocyx heals. Gonna make it a bit tricky to do all that murdering with a broken ass bone. So go forth and destroy lives in ironic death, with your Tim and his broken ass.
Just saying, and feel free to slap me in the face--I personally would totally read that book if it LOOKED like his ghost was planning to kill them all, but in the end the twist was that he brought them all to a point where they had no choice but to realize their dreams. Like if the setup was everyone around them getting murdered so their paths to their life goals were free. Guy has a girlfriend getting in the way of his ambitions? She's dead. Girl has an overbearing father and she'll never be able to succeed with him alive? He's dead, too. Setup so the main characters have their worlds crash around them so that the path to their dreams can be easily fulfilled.
This sounds dark... In a good way. I would read that book. Only if it didn't have a happy/sappy ending.
I have a simular idea that involved half a small town and multiple story lines that would have a two pronged effected but that is something way to big for me to tackle at this point in my writing life but may outline on the side so one day....
The ending might just be a "careful what your goals, are you may just get it" kinda vibe. no sappiness allowed
Sounds like it could be a fun read, if it's well written and the executions are sufficiently creative/nasty. I would certainly consider reading something like it.
Bloody great idea, I'd love to read that! There would be a lot of room to turn that into a dark humor novel as well. The "Tony Robbins" could even be a slightly famous motivational speaker. Imagine the idea of a red braced yuppy going around maiming people. Like a American Psycho, but with people skills and a more sincere smile I like the idea of this bouncy, sunny optimism type person turning to the dark side. Maybe he could kill the rock star wannabe by somehow getting them into a limo (this is the eighties, so a black Lincoln Town car, or maybe a Mercedes 500SEL or even a Jaguar XJ40) and bludgeon them to death with a ghetto blaster in the back while Van Haylen plays on it?
Here is a quick run down or "back cover copy" of the story. I am sure things will change, like the wording choices and deaths, but as a first draft, I am happy with where it is going. I may or may not start a progress journal on here. Either way, I am sure I will be asking ya'll advise from time to time. Neil Coats, nicknamed “Mr. Life Coach or Mr. LC” by his friends, is a goal driven enthusiastic kinda guy who loves testing his limits and giving his friends life advice. His friends put up with his unwanted advice, usually against their wishes. One day, Neil disappears from a weekend retreat. His friends keep their mouths shut and no one is sent to look for him. He awakes alone in the woods, changed. Then the murders begin-terrible acts of vengeance that fulfill promises made. A small time musician is found injected with an unknown substance. A High school guidance counselor is found burnt in a fiery car wreck. and A low wage waitress with expensive taste runs into a large amount of stolen money from the kind of people that do not call the cops. One by one, the people that knew Neil the most end up realizing their dreams moments before their grisly demise. For the residents of Disdain, realizing their life goals may be the last thing they ever want to accomplish. If people thought Neil was motivator before, wait until they encounter him now.
Go for it Dead Moon, really go for it! I think this has the makings of an instant classic. I'd be really interested in your progress journal. Here's an idea - Mr L.C could have a prank etc played on him by these friends that he later goes on to kill. The prank could backfire badly and cause him to loose his credibility or livelihood - and make him go to the dark side?
you know, now that I think about it this is close to what I was thinking about for the sequel. I don't want to give away the ending of this current one (least what I am thinking about for the ending) but as far as setup for the next......
