Thoughts on an Anti-Princess? And Her Sex Life?

What are your thoughts on a rebellious princess? Or else as I’d call her an anti-princess? Just say the setting of her story is in medieval times and women aren’t necessarily expected to fight with swords and stuff. My main character is the princess of this noble family. Her dream is to become a knight and fight for her kingdom. Of course, her parents are against her doing this and say it’s not possible. Long story short, she eventually escapes from the kingdom in which she lives and essentially starts life over in a new place. She starts to learn sword techniques from someone and begins strength training. She becomes a very good swordswoman and earns a spot as a knight in this well-revered group, being the only female in it. A lot of males with give her crap and backlash about being a woman. However, she develops a bond with one of the male knights and begins to fall in love.

Now this part is kind of strange for me to bring up but my warrior princess wants to have sex with this male knight that gives her reassurance and comfort. She wants to have sex. But one thing that bugs the hell out of her from having sex is tokophobia...she doesn’t want to get pregnant and ruin the body she worked so hard for. Her body is her career in a way...being a knight/swordswoman...now since it’s in medieval times how would she be safe inside her mind to have sex? She never wants to have children and she doesn’t want to carry on her family’s name by any means. Back when she was at home, her parents tried to pressure her into having children to carry on the family name...they have no one else to turn to because she is their only child. My warrior princess doesn’t want that at all, children ain’t for everybody and especially not her. She loves her life as a strong independent woman. How would I write a sex scene for such a character here as her? I think having a sex scene between her and her male partner will add to the story as it will reveal parts of her character and her growth as a person.

My warrior princess wants to embrace her sexuality as a female and enjoy it without being pressured into something she doesn’t want at all. It’s a big deal. So thoughts and advice on what or how I should do this and write this? It’s an important thing I need to figure out.

 

How graphic/detailed do you want to be? There have been historical methods of birth control that, while not as precise as modern methods, were still reasonably solid. Various herbs, barriers, and good ol' coitus interuptus.

Or she could be an everything-but girl, and still have an active sex life, just without intercourse.

Abortions were also possible, although much more dangerous than today.

 

I vote "make up a fantasy herb."

Simple, easy, direct, lets you get back to the plot.

 

I am in agreement with the posts so far. But I'm mostly here to say that I really like your idea so far. She sounds like a believable character, and you're not afraid to admit that she wants to embrace her sexuality and enjoy it. Nothing wrong with that at all. You also gave her a very realistic concern.

Now, is this set in a fictional medieval-style world? If so, then you definitely have the freedom to make up your own rules about the universe and what medical techniques and knowledge the society has.

 

I like the ideas that've been presented so far. It's just a matter of whether you're going for 'realism' or not -- ie do you want to draw off historical methods of birth control (effective ones; there were plenty of not-so-much attempts), or go with a magic spell/potion or fictional herb option.

In the narrative I think it would be something pretty easily dealt with. You could have her struggle with wanting to have sex but not deal with the potential repercussions until she finds out about the options available to her, or you could just have contraception be widely known-about and not deal with the angst about it. Just depends on whether you want it to be a plot point or something that can be brushed away with "Yeah, it's fine, I'm on the Fantasy Pill"

 

Historically, there were all sorts of contraceptive or abortifacient plants. Silphium, for example; the Romans used it so heavily they drove it to extinction. Using a real one or making one up is probably the most straightforward solution.

Otherwise condoms (though being disposable meant pre-modern condoms were expensive), coitus interruptus, and non-vaginal intercourse are possibilities. They all have a certain degree of risk, though.

 

Good information to know about herbs in the medieval period for contraception. I wasn’t really sure about the availability of those back during that time period. Or the condoms that Casanova used.

Holy smokes...referring to the withdrawal method..would my protagonist be severly pissed if a man were to do that to her during intercourse. She obviously knows what it can do and makes her very nervous to even have sex in the first place. But she’s smart and she will figure something out. I think the first time she does it will be a bit unsettling for her. Breaking her virginity of 28 or so years (that’s her age). Since she acknowledges herself as of royal blood, she works hard for the physical shape of her body, and she has absolutely no intentions to reproduce, she views her losing her virginity as a big event not for her but the entire kingdom. Her stomach will be doing flip-flops throughout that scene. She will be taken plenty of herbs, potions, etc., beforehand to prevent that other thing from happening. For whoever the man that breaks her hymen, he’s someone she sincerely trusts and she views as very special. No going back once her hymen is broken. I think it will be important to show the scene in the story.

Not saying that my protagonist needs a man to protect herself. She can do all that by herself. But she needs to find comfort and reassurance from someone.

I am a bit nervous and curious to write this scene on her behalf. She is very protective of her body and will absolutely not allow one to abuse it. I have tremendous respect for all my female characters and want my audience to see them as people and not purely ‘females’. I repeat that my protagonist will never ever have children, nothing will ever change her mind about that.

 

Knowing how nervous my protagonist is to have sex, but she WANTS TO, I suppose having non-vaginal intercourse is something to explore. I think she would crave vaginal the most yet that’s where the most consequences lay...she’ll be smart enough to shield herself from that happening. Regardless of how many contraceptives and stuff she uses, I think she’ll always worry about the risk.

At the end of the story, my protagonist will never ever get pregnant and she never will change her mind about that...her happily ever after isn’t about marrying and raising a family. Something only she knows that makes her happy with her life. Her career is everything to her...something like sex is an activity she wants to enjoy without the consequences. I think the moment she loses her virginity will scare the **** out of her. But she’ll eventually get comfortable with it and get used to it. She knows her body the best and will do everything in the book to prevent that one thing from ever happening.

 

I want her story to feel realistic but I don’t want to make her fear of the potential repercussions a huge deal in her story. She’s smart and knows what to do to make sure that one thing doesn’t happen. But to be honest, she’ll be very nervous and anxious the first time she does it. I think that is a scene I should write. Since she is of royal blood, inside her head losing her virginity is a very big deal to her and she fears it if that makes sense?

 

How graphic/detailed do I want to be in the scene? Well...I think it will be important to show the very first time she has sex...it’ll be a very strange experience for her and no doubt an experience she is nervous to experience because of its potential repercussions. I think every time she does have sex, she will always be mindful of that inside her head even though if she’s used every form of contraception in the book. Perhaps should could have an active sex life just without the dangerous type of intercourse...vaginal.

 

I'm a bit confused by this... the man withdraws before he orgasms, not necessarily before she orgasms. Is it really that important to her that he orgasm inside her?

 

Sorry if I'm a bit behind on the thread.

I can't comment on the character in detail since I'm only being told about her and haven't spent some dozens of pages with her. But she sounds perfectly ok to me.

But in regards to conception I think that from what you've written I figure that getting over a mental block to have sex would be a big thing for her, so maybe the obsticle she needs to overcome is that she's been raised to think that sex, at least for women as norms seems to be in many socities, are only for procreation and its a sign of a morale failure to enjoy it, in addition to her will to not get pregnant? And then preventine methods could be both effective and accessable, but very stigmatized to use, leading directly to another conflict and obsticle for her to work to overcome. If you so desire it for you story, that is.

EDITED

 

Always remember, your mouth can't get pregnant!

P.S. The young/inexperienced guys are grateful for anything they can get.

 

Nor will taking a ride in the caboose.

One of the funniest scenes I've ever encountered while reading fiction, occurs in Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, by Tom Robbins.
Switters, a disgraced CIA agent, has mutually consenting anal sex with a nun in a bell tower... as the nun is most protective of her virginity.

 

I am so sorry I can't add much, I want to but in my stories, this sort of topic isn't much of a central them. My Characters have sex when they do, and Pregnacy happens with the flow of the story. In my Current WIP there is a about a 6 year gap between two of my MC's children being born. And there is a third one mentioned at the end.

The others gave good advice on contraceptives and such.... Maybe the Princess decides to have a child at some point or maybe she finds out she is infertile and can't have children, even if she wanted them.

 

Maybe try for a more original story problem. JMHO

 

I agree, and the only time it sorts of works when it's comedic but even then it's sort of, "Erh... Okay" . an example of this would be Leisure Suit Larry in the land of the Lounge lizard, but again for it to work you would have to objectify people. They just want a piece of that sweet ass, basically. Than again, they are not a central point of my stories, so sex happens when it happens, children happen when they happens. .

 

It's not so much a case of through male eyes as through medieval eyes. In Le Morte d'Arthur, several of the (male) knights are proud of still being virgins, and one bemoans having had sex once in his life because it makes him less pure. Celibacy in thought and action was a requisite to be the perfect knight and complete the Grail Quest. Why write about other times if we're going to insist that the characters have completely modern viewpoints?

I recommend that the OP scan https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medieval_female_sexuality.

 

Well, one reason I can think of is that the knights of the round table are fantastically boring. Beyond that, they are a complete fiction. The real knights of that time weren't nearly so shiny and preoccupied with purity.

 

Well, she’s already a female knight—not just a fighter but a knight. That suggests that she doesn’t slavishly follow the conventions of society.

 

Since you quoted me, fwiw my point wasn't about modern vs. medieval viewpoints etc. but just that it would bore me personally, as a reader, to read that as a main part of the storyline. Imo it's been done to death and there are more interesting, fresher concepts that could be emphasized instead.