So, next summer (The summer of 2016) I plan to go on a trip and will be writing about it whilst it goes on. Now I to get a better understanding I will tell you my overall plan. The Trip: I will be going on a sort of soul searching trip [possibly with a friend] where I will only take some cloths and a few supplies in a backpack and going from Seattle Washington to Bowman North Dakota (Long way I know). Along the way I plan to visit a Native American reservation and to plan to talk and listen to people and hear their stories. The reason - you may ask - for going to Bowman ND is because I will be meeting a friend their because it is in the middle of where we live (I meet him back in 2011 playing Halo Reach and we have been best friends ever since) and because it looks like a cool pretty small town. Now the whole point of this trip is to get back some of the humanity I have lost in the past year. Many may not know nor care but I am a Paranoid Schizophrenic who is beginning to have a strong hate (and fear) of humanity. I look so much on their darker side and I want to see the better part of humanity which is why I wish to learn peoples stories. Now throughout this I plan to write down my adventure day by day/whenever I can. Do I plan to publish it as a book? Honesty I have no idea, the journey is pretty personal and I don't know if I would feel good sharing it other than with friends. But I may try to get it published who knows. The question I have for it though is: Should I also video tape my journey? Part of me wants to have it in both mediums just to remember it all and I think it would be good. And I have my foot in the door of a bunch of low budget film makers that meet up around the nearby cities by Seattle. So if I plan to make this into a book, should I/could I also film it for a video to either share or put out their somewhere? Again it will be a year until this trip happens and I am already doing some research into safety and such on the road.
I think it's a great idea, and would, perhaps, be a great vehicle for you to discuss your condition and the way it effects you (similar to when depression sufferers write a book about their condition). You have a great setting (the trip) with which to talk about the way you see people and the world around you. I think it could serve as a great insight into Schizophrenia, told from the horse's mouth, as it were. The video aspects, I'd say why not? What you do with that video would be up to you, but even if you use it to jog your memory of the trip, it'll have been worth it. Good luck with your endeavours.
Thanks, and one thing I am worried about - aside from the major food problem - is my episodes. Now I haven't really had one recently and I have been fine for maybe a couple weeks to a month. But I will be on the road for a long time and when I do get episodes I can become VERY scared of the dark and my surroundings which I usually feel at bliss in. So that is something that I hope won't come up too much. The last major break I felt like I was going to be dragged out of my house and taken away to some dark place. And would there be any legal issues with both publishing the book and selling the rights to the film or/trying to get it aired somewhere if possible?
I can't imagine why. I think you have to be careful if your book features real people, when it comes to permissions to name them, etc, ('names have been change to protect the identity' kind of clauses) but I'm not altogether clear on that. I presume your doctor is monitoring your condition, so it might be best to air your concerns with them, and to also check with them if they think there are any risks involved with what you're planning.
Ok cool. I will probably change names for it. And as for doctors, I have many friends who think I should go to the doctor and get medication for my problems but I still refuse to for personal reasons. It is my own problem I have to deal with it by myself. Hell not even my parents know even though I live with them currently (going to college and don't have a job currently).
It's pretty easy to tell. But to put it simply. I didn't really know til recently. I always pushed it away as my mind playing tricks on me. When I was a kid I would always see things others couldn't (I guess this sounds more spirit stuff which is how I used to think of it). I always felt like I was being watched and whatever I was seeing caused me to act differently for no reason. Basically I was an angry child for no apparent reason all whilst seeing it and when I stopped seeing it I stopped being so angry. Come about a year ago it returned as well as I started hearing voices constantly calling my name (again I would always put this off as my mind twisting random sounds). With it's return I have begun to hate more people as well as recently becoming angry like when I was a child. Now when it is not around like now it feels all fake and just some screwed up thing that's not real, but when I feel his presents or see him, he's real as can be. He is as real as you and me. I have posted this anonymously online on Reddit but I do not think I am able to post links on here so I won't. The summary of it all is that I see something others dont and hear voices. I feel like it wants to drag me away and pollute my soul. I have also begun to get panic attacks when I am around too many people always feeling like they are going to hurt me in some way. It is really tough to deal with and I am beginning to not care about people (as I said loosing my humanity) and if I loose enough humanity and it's all gone, I plan to put a gun to my head and end it before something bad starts. I hope this answers any questions you may have. If you have any other questions feel free to ask. Again the whole point of this trip is to get my humanity back.
