Use of slash?

Would you use a slash in here? A comma feels awkward.

Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms: “You're going to be all right" / “I’m positive” / “Fear not, says the Lord.”

Thanks.

 

Hi lameri,

To be honest, I wouldn't use slashes there. I never use slashes in story writing, and I don't think I've ever seen any books use them either. The only time a slash might be appropriate is when some sort of label or banner were being quoted in the story, for example:

A large sign could be seen on the wall with the words "Food/Drinks For Sale" written across.

Cheers.

 

I'd make the quotes part of a list:

Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms. “You're going to be all right," and “I’m positive," and the classic “Fear not, says the Lord,” were featured. She tells me that at some point he may have gone on to quotations from Plato, but she's not sure; she was microsleeping by then.

ChickenFreak

 

Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms. “You’re going to be all right. I’m positive. Fear not, says the Lord.”

The quote is coming from his mouth. Not from the quotes he is quoting.
It’s just dialogue.

How did she hear it?

 

I'd do it as a list too, but I wouldn't add the bits you've added. I'd also use semicolons for the list;

Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms: "You're going to be all right"; "I’m positive"; "Fear not, says the Lord”.​

(The placements of the punctuation would probably be different in America.) Unless the narrator is writing this in a journal or some such, in which case they might do almost anything, depending on their character and education.

 

those slashes [called 'virgules'] would have no reason for being there unless they were separating the lines of a prayer/hymn/song lyric that is being quoted...

look up the usage rules for 'virgules' and you'll see there's no other use for them in a ms other than that and in the header, to separate the name / title / page #...

 

Was anybody else disappointed when they discovered that this wasn't about the former Guns N' Roses guitarist?

 

Hi guys,

Thanks for your responses. The reason why I didn't go for

is because I want to convey the idea that he didn't say those things literally like that--he said much more, including those sentences. Perhaps I can use an ellipsis...

 

How about:

Bob talked to her using his usual hopeful expressions: "You're going to be all right, stay positive, fear not says the Lord," etc.

I've seen etc. used in fiction and it works fine.

 

ellipses would be correct only if there were words missing between those sentences... but we can't really offer valid advice without seeing the context... what goes before and after that?... post the whole paragraph, so we can see how that fits into it...

 

No, no, you're not missing anything. The narrative is giving a summary of Bob's "hopeful talk." I want to convey the fact that among the many things that Bob said, one of the sentences was “You're going to be all right," another one was “I’m positive,” and another one was “Fear not, says the Lord.” And I want to say that without having to say whatever padding there is in between.

 

C’mon lameri.
In one reply, you stated, “he said much more, including those sentences.”

Then, “And I want to say that without having to say whatever padding there is in between.”

Complete ambiguity.

Are you saying you want us to read the quotes without your writing around it?

Or, are you saying the character says those words without any padding?

Context or clarification, please.

How about the written paragraph?

 

The written paragraph is exactly that, nothing more. The key word is convey

so, again, the narrative wants to convey that he said many things, but much of it was padding, only those sentences were meaningful. Is it clear now?

 

Me! I would have liked such a post.

 

I would still wrap those sentences up in some more structure, as in my example, rather than trying to list them straight without any verbal 'glue' to hold them together. Yes, obviously I'm going to like my own example , but I do really think that the three phrases, just strung together, are going to be confusing no matter what punctuation you use for the stringing.

 

ok, so in that case, here's how i'd do it:

or maybe

 

I guess I'd do it:

Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms -- “You're going to be all right", “I’m positive”, and “Fear not, says the Lord.”

 

Thanks a lot for your input, everyone.

 

using an em dash would be incorrect, imo... and unless you're writing for the british market, commas go inside the [""], mad

btw, i've always been curious... what does 'madhoca' mean/stand for, if you don't mind telling?... is it a name, or are you an angry 'hoca' [whatever that is]?

 

^ Originally, children were schooled mostly by the learned men or women at a mosque, but now 'hoca' is used generally to mean a high school or university teacher as well. The kids here dubbed me 'madhoca' years ago--they thought 'mad' described 'eccentric' well, I suppose!

 

cute!... i like the 'ad hoc' part in the middle... also seems to fit a bit?

 

Umm... I guess! I'm terrible at going off on red herrings, I get visitors to my classes wanting to hear stories about my days at boarding school or going to the Live Aid concert or something, so I don't suppose the name will change any time soon (or that I'll actually ever finish a set course book on time).

 

So is "hoca" a HS or U teacher in Arab language? I too wondered what your name meant, so I'm glad maia asked...

 

Yes, they use 'hoca' or 'hodja' too. It's like the reader or learned person at the mosque.