Useless Facts

I have a gelding who'd make a great politician: listens to everything I have to say with great gravity and does what I ask him at the touch of the reins. He's already lost his balls, too, so doesn't have to worry about somebody twisting them, a fine thing in a politician.

 

Greenland sharks have the most urea in their blood out of all the sharks, probably to aid them in surviving the frigid arctic waters. They are very slow sharks, but have also been known to eat moose and bears.

 

And some people like their shark tasting like pee https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A1karl

 

Greenland sharks also have the longest lifespan of any known vertebrate somewhere between 300 and 500 years and don't reach sexual maturity until around 150 years old. Scientists have begun studying them to try to learn more about aging and how it might be slowed or managed in humans. Perhaps if humans also lived in freezing cold water, had piss blood, and couldn't have kids until we were in triple digits we would live longer. A sacrifice worth making?

 

A stack of a trillion dollars worth of $100 bills (US) would be 631 miles high.

 

That's okay. I'll find a place for it in the basement.

 

Guinea pigs are some of the very few animals (dry-nosed primates like humans are some others) that can't synthesize their own vitamin C and therefore are susceptible to scurvy.

 

Schadenfreude is the term used to describe the feeling of pleasure we sometimes get when another person experiences misfortune.

 

Due to some *unconventional* research I've done, I now know more about the variety of animal penises than any person should know. Combined with the cursed facts I already knew, it's simply too much.
For example lizards and snakes, Squamates, have a retractable double penis called a hemipenis (like hemisphere).
And crocodilians (alligators, crocodiles, caimans and gharials) have a singular penis that is permanently erect, and instead of being pulled in and out like a Squamate it's on a spring-loaded sort of mechanism; a "bungee penis". No wonder male crocodilians are cranky, they must get major blue balls carrying that perma-stiffy around.

 

The electric chair was invented by a dentist in 1881.

 

Rainfall is only measured in inches/CM on dry land

 

Giant tortoises are delicious.

 

How do you know?
Are you an 18th century sailor? Time traveller spotted!!

 

Yarr.

 

A Dodge Caliber handles for shit with 600 lbs of cat litter and dog food in the back.

 

Yes, and it took 300 years to give them their scientific name, because whenever they tried to bring one back to Europe on a ship, they were eaten.

 

“ten elite brains” is an anagram of “Albert Einstein”

 

Female elephants' (elephantesses?) mammary glands are positioned forward on their chests, towards the shoulder, not towards the back/lower part of their body like cows' udders.

Spoiler: Excess of caution: Elephant boobies!

That's not photoshop.

 

why have I never seen that before?

 

Just weren't looking at the right magazines I guess...

 

How will we unsee that.... ever?

 

Find something more horrifying and perverse to block it out. How do you think I ended up there in the first place?

 

But wait... that logic... nvrmnd