Hey all. I am writing a novel about a young band in early 90's Seattle. It's a 1st present tense POV. Generally speaking, I'm trying to avoid scenes reading like a diary, but there are long passages of time which are essentially the band on tour. Alost all of this occurs during the middle third/second act, and it could easily get quite bogged down. Now, I'm quite sure the reader doesn't need to read extenisve passages about 30 different gigs on a tour. I feel like I have two options for these sections (or a combination of the two) - either I write the scenes which have relevance to the plot (as per the rest of the novel), or I include what are obviously literal tour diaries summarising say 15 shows in a paragraph each. Would love some opinions - its essentially docufiction, but it's supposed to be quite emotional too. Would you as a reader enjoy a little detour through some diary entries, or would it pull you out? I guess some readers will skip it, and they wont miss anything vital, but they will miss little tidbits relevant to the story arcs. Here's a very rough example (not for analysis of course - just to give an idea of what I mean). Weds 16th Jan 1991 - The Peacock, Corvallis The Peacock is a bit of a staple for bands stretching their Seattle legs. We’ve played here before. It’s a big bar with pool tables, more of a weekend place. Still, bit disheartening when we arrive and discover the local headliners have pulled out so it’s just us and a band from Portland playing to 20 or so folk. We give it everything. Better 20 people listening than 100 who don’t, I guess. It’s either sleep in the van or drive through the night. Sonny’s up for it so we set off around midnight, It’s 500 miles to Sacramento, its dark, and we’re not wearing sunglasses. Thurs 17th Jan 1991 - Cattle Club, Sacramento I sleep most of the way, with a little help. When I wake up, the dawn sunshine is burning my eyes and my neck feels like I used a pile of bricks for a pillow. We’re about a hundred miles north of Sacramento and Sonny is comatose in the driver’s seat so I guess we didn’t quite make it. Still, seeing the sun in January is welcome sight. After spending the afternoon dozing in a park we head to the venue and scrounge some food. The sound is awesome, up there with the best we’ve ever had. Great crowd, one of my favourite venues and they even give us somewhere to crash. Posters for Alice In Chains and Mookie Blaylock playing a month today, so we’re in good company. Saturday 19th Jan - Marsugi’s, San Jose Wow, what a cool little place. The little stage is stuck in the corner, right by the front windows, so all the Saturday night patrons of San Jose can see our asses shaking when they roll past. It’s pretty packed, being a weekend. I think this is more of a blues bar, but we make some fast friends and get somewhere to crash. Best thing is, it’s not even that cold this far South in Jan.
If you make a story that is nothing but diary entries...it is going to be a turn-off IMO. What you might consider is using them as a prologue to chapters, then lead into prose. I recently read a novel that had prologues from an emperor who had gone evil over the course of his reign. He was over thrown and went into hiding but now as an old man, overcome with regret, he decides to commit suicide. He writes a suicide note detailing all of his evil deeds and all the people he destroyed, then tries to jump to his death. He fails in his attempt and decides to begin helping people instead. Each chapter to the very end starts with a part of the note, then goes into his attempts to make things right that he did wrong. I could see diary entries being used in a similar manner.
Thanks for the idea, what was the book called? However, I'm very much not wanting to use only diary entries, I am considering using them to cover longish passages of time when the band are touring. I thought a few pages of diary enteries might be more interesting and immersive than summarizing in backstory or showing whole scenes which aren't relevant to the plot.
I've got to say that I'm not a fan of the way you're proposing these diary entries. These seem like they could actually pull the reader out of your story. which is basically what you are doing with this sort of filler. You're a writer. I think you should write the narrative that fits the story. That doesn't mean recapping every show or the play-by-play of tour life. Stay with the story. Go where the story takes you. There is no need for a break in the story. And diary entries in novels aren't so compelling or done often. I would take a different course of action if I were you.
Shadow of the Conqueror by Shad M. Brooks. I must warn you though, his MC is completely a terrible person...
I’d echo what a lot of people are saying here. It has the risk of taking me out of the narrative and dropping me into a list of events that don’t do anything for me. However, what you’re talking about reminds me of an amazing memoir I read by Dean Wareham about his time in Galaxie 500 and Luna, both bands with cult success but no mainstream fame. His memoir manages to weave accounts of touring (and its painful mundanity) with the story he is telling about himself and his relationships. There is even a bit where he publishes part of his tour diary to give a glimpse into what it was like, but this itself has a narrative purpose. It reveals the way the band were feeling at that time and how their world was changing. I’d recommend reading that even if you don’t know the band, as it might either help you see how to weave what you want to do with the diary into your story or work out a way to use the diary format more effectively.
This is incredibly useful thanks. I will get that book on order. Funnily enough I have a similar thread on a facebook group and its 4-1 saying they would enjoy some diary entries vs against. I guess I can always ditch them down the line - better to write it and trash it if it doesnt work. We writers have to accept we'll never please everyone so I suppose we have a duty to please oursleves
This could work if there was some common thread through the entries and not just the weather and where they are. I mean, there is Dork Diaries and Diary of a Whimpy Kid that are in all diary entries. What I noticed when my child read them to me, was there was a common thread referenced in the entries that lead to the development of a story through the words of the writer of the diary. A thought.
