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Our Winner?

Poll closed Jul 31, 2018.
  1. A sense of Foreboding

    1 vote(s)
    7.7%
  2. Bridges Burning

    2 vote(s)
    15.4%
  3. Checkpoint

    8 vote(s)
    61.5%
  4. Hello, Boys, It’s Flo

    1 vote(s)
    7.7%
  5. Algebra Vs Geometry

    1 vote(s)
    7.7%
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  1. Zerotonin

    Zerotonin Serotonin machine broke

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    Closed Voting Vote Now - July 2018 Contest (Voting closes 31 July)

    Discussion in 'Monthly Short Story Contest Archives' started by Zerotonin, Jul 16, 2018.

    1. Read the entries here: https://www.writingforums.org/threads/july-2018-short-story-contest.158369/


    2. Vote. Authors, please do not vote for your own story. If you don't want to vote for another but still want to know the poll results, don't worry - they will be visible to all once voting closes. If you really can't wait then feel free to PM me and I'll tell you the current results.

    Voting will close at midnight (GMT) on 31 July.

    You can use whatever criteria you like to choose a winner. If you want some guidance, the criteria we used for the 10th anniversary contest was:
    • Technical ability (spelling, grammar, etc)
    • Entertainment
    • Originality
    • Use of the prompt
    Please don't read the replies to this thread until you have voted! They may contain spoilers.
     
  2. Mark Burton

    Mark Burton Fried Egghead Contributor

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    Thanks authors. Some thought-provoking stories there.

    Checkpoint
    This is an interesting story from the perspective of an alien species and the prejudices that they exhibit towards outsider humans. This also has a wider implication about how we treat refugees in our own world.

    My runner up was: Algebra Vs Geometry
    It had a deeper meaning around the stigma that can develop around social non-conformity. In my mind, it challenges us to not take things at face value and to question our own beliefs in myths and gossip.
     
  3. jannert

    jannert Who? Whooo? Staff Supporter Contributor

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    No hesitation. I voted for Checkpoint. It was well-written, thought-provoking and very original in concept ...with a nod to political topicality as well. What I particularly liked is how quickly the author oriented us to what was going on, despite the general weirdness of the setting. After the first few lines I knew this was some kind of a border guard, but that the border guard wasn't human, but the creatures he was dealing with were. This wasn't specifically said (if my memory serves me right.) However, it was incredibly clear. Seeing humans through the perspective of a non-human was interesting—and creepy. This feels like a piece from an author who knows what he or she is doing. Impressive.

    My second choice would have been Bridges Burning. A completely different kind of story, but one that was also very well done. That feeling of having done something bad that can't be undone is always a difficult one to deal with. In some ways, this story reminded me a bit of that fantastic movie I've only been able to watch once: Deliverance. I also appreciate the quick orientation to the story's world and a hint of what was likely to happen. I just felt I liked Checkpoint better, because ...well ...I'm a sucker for Sci-Fi, when it's done well. But Bridges Burning was my runner-up, and I think it's a really good story.

    I found myself annoyed at the end of A Sense of Foreboding. Why? Of course, you guessed it. It was all a dream. The writing itself was good—although it did take a while to get off the ground and get to the point—which wasn't the scenery, etc, but the sense of foreboding that the narrator was experiencing—but the Bobby Ewing ending just didn't work for me at all.

    Hello, Boys, It's Flo. That was an interesting one. I think the writing itself is excellent, the detailing precise and intricate and the character was an interesting mix—witty, but also repellent. NOT somebody I would want to know. It all worked fine except for one thing. I still don't actually know what the story was about. All Flo did was introduce herself and ramble on about her lascivious lifestyle. Okay, it got rather sticky towards the end, but by that time I had detached from it. I think a short story needs to start with a good thrust in the direction it's supposed to go, but this one meandered too much for my taste, right from the start. I kept waiting for the point of the story to emerge—and it never really did. At least not for me.

    Algebra VS Geometry. I think I'm too old for this one. I can't judge it very well. It's definitely a YA story. I am an OA. It doesn't bring back my own YA life very much, but I'm sure times have moved on. It will be interesting if young people on the forum vote for it and explain what made them like it the best. I'd be interested in knowing what they took from the story, and finding out what I may have missed.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2018
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  4. dbesim

    dbesim Contributor Contributor

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    Voted.
     
  5. FrankABlissett

    FrankABlissett Active Member

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    Was quite happy with my story ...
    ... till I read "Checkpoint"! Certainly the best of the lot.

    At first: Well, that's clever. ... Then: It's maybe a bit too on the nose. Hope it doesn't get too heavy handed. ... Still later: Nononono! Why can't I be there to help them?!

    The story stuck with me all weekend. In particular, I appreciated the rather fluid excuses. First it's "but they don't speak our language" then "Meh - don't matter much if they do". And those who today say "I just hate them 'stealing' our jobs - if they were *really* on the run it would be another matter", would just as easily change to "I don’t mind if they come here to work. But they’re all just running."
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2018
  6. GB reader

    GB reader Contributor Contributor

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    Checkpoint

    I felt this is it, when i read it. After only a few paragraphs it was clear that if the author didn't get hit by an meteorite he/she would pull it off. And she/he did. It was enough with “Checkpoint” to get me to checkpoint charlie in Berlin with guards that let you pass or not. Then history became present.


    Bridges burning was also a good story.
     
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  7. newjerseyrunner

    newjerseyrunner Contributor Contributor

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    I also voted for Checkpoint. I found this group to have some really unique concepts, but this one is especially well done.
     
  8. Zerotonin

    Zerotonin Serotonin machine broke

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    Closed voting a bit early this month due to dog sitting at my folks' house and not having access to a computer with internet there, so I have to do this while I'm still at work. Also, one story ran away with this month's votes!
     
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