I'm giving the whole getting published another shot and thought up another synopsis. Opinions welcome. Waldo the Incubus Synopsis Waldo is dead, and horny, and very bored as the story opens about two hundred years in the future. While he was alive he invented gravity shielding (which makes things float) and he was a terrorist (long forgotten) and quite without meaning to, became the architect of (then) modern social thought. In the future, being bored and horny, he decides it's time for a career change and becomes and ersatz incubus minus the sole stealing. Following what he assumed to be a nearly perfect woman onto a space-going tug boat, there begins many adventures for him including thwarting pirates, making ice cream (which is illegal) writing a best seller and falling in love with a fat girl. All of which is complicated by being dead. The whole thing is a tempest-in-a-teapot story and it's just for laughs.
This all sounds ridiculous, which is great. But I'd amp up the ridiculousness of it by developing a couple of your ideas. Instead of "making ice cream (which is now illegal)" give us something like, "making ice cream, declared illegal by the..." This gives us a little more world-building detail as well as taking out some brackets (you've got four sets). I'd also lose the last bit "and it's just for laughs". If that's your closing comment, as a publisher/agent is probably think "well, what's the point then?" Last thing I can think of, another case of switching out brackets for a little something. Instead of (long forgotten) terrorist, just say terrorist. Firstly, it's been two hundred years - we can probably assume that he's been mostly forgotten about (unless he's a major figure in terrorism, in which case play) and partly because, as you said, he's already dead. Secondly, if you're already telling us that this particular conflict (him being a terrorist when he was alive) is already resolved (forgotten) then we've got nothing to root for. Oh, finally - repetition of bored and horny. That second time, I'd go for: "being as bored and horny as he is". Finally (really this time) instead of "in the future" shouldn't it be "now"?
Sounds ridiculous enough that I'd probably read it! I'll admit I have no idea what and becomes and ersatz incubus minus the sole stealing means, and assume you meant souls unless he steals feet - which is entirely plausible in this scenario! NC
Thanks for the comments both of you! Yeah he does have a thing about feet, but that was still a screw up on my part thanks for catching it.
I quite like the idea that he goes around randomly stealing feet, perhaps that's his fetish: the horny bugger!
Second Attempt Waldo is dead, and horny, and very bored as the story opens about two hundred years in the future. While he was alive he invented gravity shielding and he was a reluctant terrorist and quite without meaning to, became the architect of modern social thought. Being bored and horny, he decides it's time for a career change and becomes an ersatz incubus minus the soul stealing. After following what he assumed to be a nearly perfect woman onto a space going tug boat, there begins many adventures for him including thwarting pirates, making unlawful ice cream, writing a best seller and falling in love with a fat girl. All of which is complicated by being dead. The whole thing is a tempest-in-a-teapot story and it's just for laughs.
