Ways to avoid repeating said

No, I've done it in 3rd POV too.

 

Here is this website, that I found a month ago

https://www.spwickstrom.com/said/

 

The thing is, if you use these alternatives too often, or unnaturally, it looks amateurish because it looks like you are avoiding "said". I can't think of the last time I read anything that used "articulated" as a dialogue tag.

"Ejaculated" is a good tag though. Holmes and Watson liked to ejaculate. Not that I've used it in any of my work.

 

Okay, I laughed.

 

Honestly, there really isn't much wrong with a standard "said." Tacking on all the extra dialogue tags add nothing to the story if the dialogue and body language itself is done right. Tagging is just extra word count that bogs down the reading speed unless the word is critical.

 

I did both English Lang. and English Lit. GCSE and we were never actually taught any writing techniques at all. We were just given assignments to do and marked on them. No critiques either.

Sounds like I should be thankful!

 

That's my disease, and every time I re-read pieces like that, they appear purple as an eggplant.

How about whispered?

 

I heartily endorse this method. Nothing wrong with 'said,' but it doesn't do anything BUT attribute the dialogue to the speaker. However, sometimes that's all that's needed. But if somebody is whispering, or shouting, or bellowing, 'said' doesn't always do the trick—and you'll either need an adverb or a different word. But I would use these only when it's important for the reader to know what tone of voice the speaker is using. Otherwise they draw undue attention to themselves, and they can get pretty silly.

Beats are great, though. Beats do double duty. They not only attribute who is speaking, but they provide visuals, body language, reactions, etc. They give the dialogue context.

 

This problem exists in many school systems, one of my first mentors hammered it hard in her student's brain too. Her dogmas were "don't write in first person" and "avoid repetitions at any cost". I wonder how much of us are out there, still having that brand on their brain.

Good grief. To give her some credit - my teacher at least gave us a chance to explain our writing, and when we failed (which happened in about 80% of cases), she would color the whole text with highlighters.

 

I agree that cutting 1/3 is insufficient. I'll endeavor to reduce those counts further. But for a 1st draft I think this count is perfectly fine, given that I actually completed a first draft.

My primary goal is simply that the reader knows who is speaking and he or she is not distracted by tag attributes or a wonky workaround that negatively affects the cadence and rhythm as I is read out loud.

I'm working on the 2nd draft, and replacing several "said" verbs with other speaking verbs that are add to the dialog (e.g. whispered, murmured, called, yelled, shouted, screamed, etc.) In my 3rd draft, I hope to rephrase paragraphs in order to remove many of these attributes.

Honestly, my chief challenge is using tag attributes in three or more people conversations and while sticking to a 3rd person objective POV. But I have some ideas on how to make this work.

I'll be able to report on this in another two months.

 

I almost asked what you meant by posts 8 and 11. I saw the numbering system as I was asking.

My dialog is riddled with action beats. My problem, being a noob writer of fiction, is my OCD suckered me into adding tag attributes. This is a great reminder I need to eliminate a great deal of them.

Thanks!

 

Sometimes you can simplify dialogue by removing it and instead do a bit of telling. For instance—

Door insisted, and maintained his stance, but the windows and moldings refused to budge.

 

I was getting ready to challenge you on this point to see you do it with multiple people in 3rd Objective POV. But I was reminded in this thread that all of my action beats I included over the past six-weeks are my ticket to reducing my usage of "said".

 

Trust your readers. In a scene with two people speaking, it should be fairly clear from the dialogue who is talking. A good rule of thumb is to use a tag once every three sentences or so, just to remind them.

It should never be a wonky workaround. It needs to be natural and flow properly.

Here's an example of what I mean - it's an example from one of my stories.

"Sorry for your loss," I said.
Toby grinned. "I'm not. The old man was a bastard."

In this scene, there are only two people present, so I didn't need a tag in the second line. I could have omitted the action beat completely, as it would have been obvious that Toby is the one replying, but the action beat is not there to replace a dialogue tag. It's there to show how Toby feels about his father's death - which the dialogue itself does, but it emphasises his emotional state.

 

Thanks for the comprehensive list. Here is my general problem with many of these attributes. I'm a noob at creative writing so I could be wrong. I'm open to feedback.

I'll use this example for the linked site

In this case, 'disputed' is non-valued because the Jason's dialog makes it clear he is disagreeing with the other person. I would choose "said" if a tag attribute was required.

I would use action beats similar to this as I have been reminded in this thread.

Jason shook his head as the class watched the historical footage. “No, no, no, I disagree with you. NASA landing on the moon is not a hoax!”

 

Excellent point for two people. Maybe I need to step away from multiple people participating in a conversation and break it up without disrupting the story. Or I could use action beats to more effect.

 

Some words I use to replace "said" (especially with conversations between 2 or more characters): Explained, replied, retorted, shot, asked.

They aren't used all the time, of course. Just like using the word "said", it's all about finding the right balance.