Hi, I am not a writer but I didn't know where else to go! I hope you all don't mind. I am best woman for my best friend's wedding in February. I am so nervous about the whole day but I hate public speaking so the speech is kinda bothering me. I have never spoken in public before neither wrote a speech and I don't really have anyone I can show so I don't know if it's ok. I wanted to do something a little different so I've tried to rhyme it throughout, kinda like a poem. I've tried to not be too soppy. It reads for around 5 minutes. I am just looking for some feedback, any at all would be highly appreciated. If there are any bits I need to change, if it sounds too much or seems like I'm just drivelling on etc please tell me. With it rhyming it was quite a struggle in places and so some sentences are quite short or I've used words I wouldn't usually - I just don't want it to sound 'simple' or 'short' in places etc. There will be a short introduction beforehand. Here it is: [text redacted]
I think you've put a lot of work into it and clearly love the couple. I also get your fear, because I break out in a cold sweat at the mere idea of public speaking, but I'm worried this could backfire. Spoken word/rhyming/poetry/whatever you want to call it is unusual for a wedding speech and unusual in general for many people to listen to, so it could be a little uncomfortable for the audience and that will be worse for your fear. I would personally try to think of some funny anecdotes about the couple and do a more traditional speech.
Hi @Kayleight1094, and welcome to the forum I am about to hit the hay, but I think you have done a terrific job with this! My only comments would be that I think you want to read if for "positivity" - so "And that they both look great together, As together is where they are supposed to be forever" would be more positive if it were "And that they both look great together, As together is where they'll be forever" Also - you are the best woman - I think you need to inject a little humour. It is very good but lacks laughs. Wedding audiences want to laugh, throw them a line!
I was going to make a comment on the length, but I did a timed reading of it and clocked in at just under 3 minutes. Given time for nerves, tears, and going a bit slower so everyone can hear, it'd probably work out to about 5 minutes, which isn't unreasonable, but still is still kind of on the long side for the people there that don't do well with emotional displays.
