My only understanding of this plot thread is that the characters who are eventually meant to warm up to eachother have opposing viewpoints. For one reason or another they wind up butting heads on various things, and through conflict of the plot, eventually fall in love when they find out things they have in common. Other than that, which is arguably barely a premise. I'm not entirely sure how this plot thread...works, if that makes sense or how to make it entertaining/cute. I want to give the reader the impression that these two were made for eachother, but their personalities (initially) contrast so strongly that they sour their impressions. In essence I want to give the reader that 'for fucks sake just kiss already!' reaction but without dragging it on too long.
Discovering commonalities isn’t the engine for the “opposites attract” trope in my experience — it’s the allure of their differences. Over the course of the story each side of the romance reveals to the other something important they lack (sense of adventure, adult level of responsibility, genuine independence, etcetera), but incorporating that desirable thing requires significant change/growth, and they initially believe they have good reasons to not change. In fact, they’re often repulsed by the mere idea that they might be better off changing. It’s a realignment of values story as much as it is a romance. It’s putting unbalanced individuals back in balance. And it’s your job as the storyteller to suggest to the audience that the “opposite” romantic interest is the best person in the world to help them do that — aka their soulmate.
So the short version I need to find some Values in my male lead don't exactly align with the Female lead (and the same for the female lead) and convince both characters that change is good? My Female lead thrives in a modern world and is forward thinking (well compared to the rest of her culture) and technology doesn't agree with her, and the Male lead is a technical wizard but he's stuck in the past, but I'm not sure that's the kind of thing you're talking about. I assume you're referring to their actual values, like their core personality traits. So I need to examine these two and see if I can find some area that both are lacking and also find something that one desires from the other even if they don't know it right yet.
From what I can tell the opposites attract is as Bone2pick says, about two people who alone are unbalanced but when put together become better than when apart. One common type I can think of is Mr. No-Nonsense matched with Miss Fun-Loving (gender is reversible, but that's the most common form). She likes the stability and security he provides, he likes that she brings joy to his life and makes him laugh. The point isn't to find common ground or change to be more like each other, but to embrace the differences between the two. If you're having trouble getting it to work for your story, think about your favorite instances of opposites attract and figure out why they work so well.
I think that might be my problem, it's hard to explain, but both characters sort of fill both roles, if that makes sense? What I mean is. They each have traits of both roles and are drawn to eachother because they see the part that they lack in. I think my Male lead is more mr no nonsense, but he's a bit on the goofy/absentminded side too. (He's good at his craft and more or less all business but is basically a kid on the inside) Female lead is ms. Fun and Energetic but she takes certain objectives a bit too seriously and gets tunnel vision really easily. (She solves a lot of her issues with brute force, she can and will literally slow down time to get somewhere five minutes quicker lol) I think what that means these characters are a little too perfect for their roles and that's what I'm having trouble with.
When I read your post, I immediately thought of the TV show Scorpion. The interaction of Walter a high IQ genius, struggled with social skills and with Page, a waitress with an empathetic mothering skills, made them a complete high functioning pair. Scorpion - Trailer (Coming to City Mondays at 9:00PM) - Bing video
As someone who's entire backlist fits the "enemies to lovers" trope, I feel compelled to chime in. As others have pointed out, having the two MCs have strengths and weaknesses that balance each other out and make them better combined that they are separately is key. But for me, my favorite part is them discovering that about each other, and each of them being changed at least a little bit for the better by the other person, bit by bit and drip by drip. I love me a slow burn romance, so I wouldn't worry too much about getting to the finish line too quickly. It's the journey for me, where one character looks at the other doing something that would normally bug the crap out of them, but instead there's this moment of Ohhhhh, you know maybe they have a point and that opens up the door of mutual respect, which I think is one of the most important building blocks for a love story. In the Romance genre, this is super popular trope known and Grumpy/Sunshine.
One of the best opposite attracts romances is the African Queen. It's got a prim, old maid and a gin-swilling riverboat captain thrown together by a war. What makes the movie so terrific is that they just don't find love but it stretches into a patriotic act -- a ripple effect of love -- knowing it could possibly sacrifice their freshly found love to accomplish it. The pair come to compliment each other as their weaknesses and strengths help bring out the best in each other - for instance, Rose's sobriety eventually rubs off on Charlie making him dependable, and Charlie's bravery rubs off on Rose making her daring. Rose's primness is shattered by Charlie's love, and Charlie's indifference to the war is shattered by Rose's faith in him.
