What Are You Doing?

Hey, speak for yourself. I have shit to do, places to see, and things I want to accomplish.

Beathe, man, breathe.

How long have you been working this session? It sounds like you've been at it too long and are getting burned out. Step awaaaaay from the keyboard, J-Dub. Go take a walk. Play with your pups. Relax for a bit.

Seriously. Pace yourself. As I said, it's part of the process. We all go through it, and those who haven't yet have that loveliness (!) to look forward to.

 

Nuclear winter is dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

 

Watching a video about my zodiac sign, as I dicker about my internet home (the fourms) and trying to take the productive energy I`ve worked up today into some work.

@Cave Troll @Some Guy


Some more perspective on the youtube conversation from the other day. From a writer to.

 

Okay, I don't want to ruin things for others.

Not to long, if anything just a hard time focusing. though I made some slow progress. . just trying to figure out how it can all work correctly.

however, I did work in the yard for an hour, and I was thinking of recording some gameplay for my youtube chanel.

 

I feel ya on the focusing. I don`t know if it`s a regular thing for you (we all have moments) but I really really struggle with focus, and that can wear on you. Can`t focus, can`t be productive, and it can wear. Any progress no matter how slow is progress. Turtle and the hare and all that. Both would make great soup....

See there`s my focus again. Really though I wanted this to be productive time and I got some but got a little to sucked into the forums and you-tube. Now my stomachs talking. Gonna go get some grub then do my nightly coding and some writing things. See what else I can get done.

 

That's true.... and my MC Kristol would love some Rabbit Stew... though she's never tried turtle.

 

Mmm, not quite as romantic as that. I had a plate of crumbs and an empty plastic wrapper afterwards. I have baked them though, they are ridiculously easy to do, so long as you don't let them brown too much

 

Hold on, I'll have a response to this shortly. Just need to gaze at it for a little while longer...

 

What's this? I gotta see it!

 

Ah, I see we have reached the Fallout poetry season.

 

We mourn the Fallow fellow. We stand here this day below our flag at this place that serves as our squadron headquarters. And where MC narrator Cavetroll provides survival consistency and spine to our aerial combat sections:

'Damn bad show about that Fallow. Did you hear his last words, CT?'

'Oh Matty, a bumble of bourbon in the tail-spin, yet I recall his message fondly...'

'Yes?'

'Yes, he says to tell Wreybies to shove his translation services up his ass, tell Minstrel to choke on a nut, Katrian, he locked her in the sauna. Kopostian...he stole his banana...'

'Me, Bayview? He must have said something about me and Bayview, our upcoming engagement, surely?'

'Nothing, a blink and a fireball. Nothing..nothing, I am sorry.'

 

Already? Shoot, blink and ya miss it round here...

 

Space Balls: The Forum Post

I'm playing Breath of the Wild: Linkle Edition

 

Getting ready for tonight while listening to an audio book. The most annoying thing about said audio book is the robot voice its being read in. Its an English bot reading lines...who invented such an evil?!

 

Eww. What book is it?

 

Eating a bowl of fruit salad (blueberries, pineapple, tangerines, strawberries) and drinking a cup of orange spice decaf tea, having spent the morning on marketing. I was thinking of going to the beach but decided to get some work done today to have Monday free instead.

 

Earlier baked cookies for the bf, now I'm going to think of a chicken dinner and clean the kitchen before going back to Monster Hunter World. They released the Witcher III collaboration yesterday (well, the first part) but the multiplayer component needs me to rack up my rank.

Good thing the week after next is half term.

 

I don't know! That's the problem.

I'm in that mind melting stage when I'm too tired to do anything, but at the same time I don't want to go to bed because I know I won't be able to sleep. So I'm mainly wasting time. Maybe time for another cup of tea?

In a weeks time I'll be up in the air - probably as tired or even more. I'm dreading it. Who the hell decides to fly in the middle of the night?

 

About photographing:

- Your tras bin or delete button is you most important tool.
- Shadow is the second, light the third, after that your lens and camera body way after that.
- "A good photographer always looks lazy."
- Don't photograph your object. Take a picture about the relationship between two things, not those things.
- You can make your milieu your studio by thinking and preparing.
- Worst weather is best for photographing.
- Very easy and interesting way to develop your visual thinking: Take a FF-body and 50/1.4 lens. Photograph humans but do not take photos about they appearance. Take photos about they personalities. Think and feel so that you can find they inner essence.
- Hard way to go further: Do the same with toddlers.
- Play with your gear. Learn it as if it was part of you.
- The best gear is not what is best. The best gear is what goes seamlessly with your mind and physiology. You need to go beyond thinking. If gear forces you to think while shooting then it's not good for you or you have not played with it enough.
- Photograph abstractions. (Take a photo about love. Not someone who loves but love itself. Think about how to do it.)

Good picture hunting!

 

I miss my Minolta.

 

Yeah...

I miss my past gear also.

(2 of my kids love their DIY bootstrap budget barbie shooting studio. A table, a roll of white paper, a daylight lamp, a self made Lastolite -type diffusor-reflector...)

 

Absolutely off the charts on a cocktail of beer, nicotine, and CBD. (it's the weekend!)

Hope everyone else has / is having a good night.

 

What am I doing?

I'm building barriers between me and some...thing I call X.

I want to get my creativity and productivity back. I want to continue writing. I want to minimise heart problem risks. I want to be sure that some...thing can't use me as an emotional trash bin. I want to be the main character of my own life. I want my life to be about me and my family and not about some...thing that does not have a place or a part in my life.

I want to dam that damned toxic flood out of my life and I'm gonna do it or die trying. (If I don't it kills me anyway, so there is nothing to loose. My heart and health in general can't cope with that. And if I tell this X that my health can't cope with the stress... then X really starts to push. So it is not flight or fight but die or flight.)

Cutting the pollution river out of my life will cost few months and 3 000 - 10 000€ but I will get a pollution free life after that.

At least there is a hope.

I want to get a writing life and I can get it only if I can trust that I don't need to be in any contact with X in any of the years that are coming.