What Are You Doing?

Wife an I studied together. Very productive, if not a little headache inducing.

With that session over, it's time to enjoy this beautiful weather. 65 degrees over here. No time to spend indoors, that's for sure. We should go exploring for some random eatery untested. Yeah, it'll be fun!

 

Got an ad on the sidebar for my prostate. Which would be cool. Except I don't have one.

But I'm going to get back to writing now. Maybe I'll write about my non-existent prostate in some metaphysical monologue.

 

Odd synchronicity.

 

Ended up in a fucking pizzeria. Shocker.

Least it was good.

 

Struggling with negative thoughts, and ironically
thinking of breaking my unbreakable vow, since
it would be both relief and consequence for breaking
it.
I suppose I just happen to live in a repressed place
that depresses me for all the reasons. Of course that
is small town living for ya: dull, bland, and about as
interesting as the dust that blows through it at an average
of 20mph on a good day.

 

Please don't break your unbreakable vow. You are important. It might sound trite or whatever coming from someone who doesn't know you, but that doesn't stop me from believing you're important.

 

Vagina Monologues?

*slinks out of room*

 

I can only join Dogberry‘s Watch. Take care and feel better soon !

On topic: On my way home from a shopping trip whith a shopping list including such exciting things like cucumbers and dog biscuits (both are in my bag now at least).

 

Listening to that one client complain about a job well done. You know, you can have a thousand great to okay clients/customers, but they'll always be that one old (or young) person who is just never satisfied. Thank the cosmos I don't live with this old lady since prison would seem a respite. Not gonna do anymore work for her - hell to the nah.

After she shuts up an I tell we're done, I'm off to study some more. Ah, the life of a small business owner. Full of study and grumpy clients....

 

Listening to music after work now that I`ve finished with my dinner. Work went as well as it always does at least I`m off tomorrow. New schedule is actually pretty nice for me. Never did end up getting that snow fun...thank god. Though there calling for a storm now. Disney rooms were horrid though a majority of mine ended up being people in town for the twelfth night I didn`t go to. They actually tipped really well ether a five or a twenty in each room. Disney rooms didn`t tip at all, screw you Mickey Mouse.

Probably finishing off the soda I have here in the house tonight (and trying not to buy anymore for a bit) while doing forums stuff for a bit. Probably play around on Kind Words and do some more writing later. Storyboarding actually worked great, and I think I`ve had a break through.

 

Dropped the little rascal off at school then went to a doughnut shop for some nasty coffee. Sipping it now whilst thinking about the cities homeless problem. That's not me saying the homeless are a problem, hell no, my heart breaks whenever the eyes spy one begging. But I'm not arrogant enough to think I can do something about it - even with the people I know. Wife comes from a wealthy family, but only her brother likes me, so no help there and I'm not swimming in cash myself...

Eh. This would've been a better blog post, I think. Too short a thought though.

Anyway. This coffee is disgusting, just the way I like it. Ahmed knows me too well, it seems. Would've brought a doughnut but health blah diabetes blah etc.

Have a good day, folks.

 

Installing Windows 10 on the laptop.

I know, I know, it's something I've been putting off for a few years since I'm usually either on my tablet or the desktop, but I heard that all support is going bye-bye, so it's time.

It's also getting later and later, but I've got tomorrow off, so... we wait.

 

It's actually fairly painless, compared to some of the old operating system upgrades I've found.

 

Oh, yeah, it's no problem, but we're into hour two or three of the process. 86%, that's good, I just gotta stay up until it finishes. If I do, it'll go smoothly, but if I don't I'll wake up in 8 hours with some "click to go to the next step, three hours remaining" type thing.

 

Well...you're probably going to do that. It has a bunch of points that seem like the end, but it's not. Such as SP updates, which take a hot minute.

 

Chilling on the new sofa I just assembled!

I need to clean out the rest of the kitchen, but I finally have a sofa I can stretch out on for the first time in over 4 months!

We're going to IKEA on Saturday. If I'm lucky we'll have a kitchen table before the week is over

 

Reminds me of the donuts down in the basement fridge should go eat those soon.

Right now, I`m just kinda recovering. I`ve spent a lot of time repressing a lot of things haven`t even cried in about six or more years. Today I ended breaking down in tears multiple times. Still a little shaky, it`s a lot. The poor dog didn`t even know how to react to it, neither did the one cat. Though after the other cat came to comfort me and he watched he did the same. Had to be cry trained. Things with mother our just taking their toll to an extreme extent. I spend a lot of time and introspection and self-analyzing trying to acknowledge and work on my problems. Whether they be my cognitive disabilities, my past, or etc. Trouble is a lot of this energy and time-consuming work goes on internally so can be hard for other people to see. Couple that with someone who views acknowledging the problems as excuses and just tosses the r-word around like a soft ball and it makes it easy for them to come after you with there "raise the bar, you used to beat the odds" mentality. Even though that`s not how any of this works, it`s something you pinpoint and work with to cope with not something you make go away entirely with a bit of elbow grease and determination. I`m trying hard, and I am making progress by trying to my limits every single day it`s just not in the way she understands, can see, or believes in. Having a flat affect doesn`t help either. It just all builds to a situation that isn`t good for me.

On the bright side last night in the middle of all this I somehow actually finished writing something for the first time in who knows how long. It`s actually a pretty big milestone, even if I`m not in the place to feel that fully right now. Sent it off to an old friend to look over today will be a lot of waiting anxiously for there response. Once I can get myself calmed down fully I plan to pick up a little and go up the road to the neighbors for a bit. Lost his Christmas present but recently found it...after the replacement one I ordered had just come in.

It`s almost noon now. Not how I planned to spend my morning.

 

Bad study session is bad. Mind wants to play around like a drunken monkey, it seems.

Feeling hungry, too. Should eat something, but food just seems to bleh right now. Perhaps it's Captain Crunch time.

 

Melting from mortification. The hella attractive guy I work for just came into the breakroom where I'm eating my peanut butter sandwich and he said hello and I said hello WHILE WEARING MOST OF THE DAMN SANDWICH ON MY STUPID FACE.

I need a nap

 

Seriously, brain. One story at a time! D:<

Brain: "But I wanna write a Western about a badass ginger named Lucy Bass who fights off bandits and corrupt businessmen with a crippled farmboy by her side!"

Me: "Crippled...farmboy?!"

Brain: "Yeah! She finds him in the wreckage of a train that was purposefully derailed and the two..." (continues waxing lyrical)

Me:

 

Yep. That's the expression.

 

There is a solution here: You must torture your brain into submission.

Watch hours an hours of golf with the volume muted. Stare at the screen. Remind your mind all it has to do to get away from this horrid sight and soon it will bend.

 

Working on putting my present together, and sipping JB.
I had no idea that it was a giant box that was preggars with
a bunch of little boxes. One of which was labeled empty for
for extra padding. Should be fun, and I am pretty damned
happy so far.