Basically, writing a supernatural/demonic story, and having difficulty finding out what exactly my monster is. The story starts off with a father reading a bedtime story to his daughter. He closes the book, stands up and turns off the lights, then we pan down to see he's holding a pistol. Close-up on the daughter, who has a bullet between her eyes, and a pentagram carved into her skull. The father goes into his office, makes a call letting another know that is has escaped, we hear the person kill themselves over the phone, then the father kills himself. Later on, we find out that the pentagram didn't work, and we see the possessed daughter standing in the doorway of the father's office, a sinister smile, before she makes the father body burst into flames. I kinda just wrote all of this because i thought it was a bit out there, and mysterious, but wanting to pursue this as a serious, coherent story. Any ideas as to what this monster could be that would be so terrifying, even just hearing it has escaped over the phone would prompt you to kill yourself? I've thought of it being some guys in the same military unit in Afghanistan found an amulet that had a Jinn bound to it, but not sure that Jinn escaping would terrify someone enough to kill their daughter and themselves to try to protect from possession. For reference, here are the scenes (don't happen one right after the other in the screenplay, but this is the entirety of it):
It sounds like a mix of demonic possession and zombie apocalypse could easily lead people to such conclusions. Maybe the monster that escaped is some demon lord that has the ability to possess entire populations of people. Since zombie apocalypse stories often have people kill themselves before they turn that seems a pretty believable response if being possessed by this demon lord is similar to being turned into a zombie. Maybe it can still possess the dead, but only for a brief time, but can possess the living indefinitely.
I take it this is just the lead-in to a much longer story? I sort of like it just as is, as a short. And if it were to remain as is, I wouldn't show the creature, except as a shadowy blur moving past the camera once or twice. Let it be mysterious. What a few shadows and sounds and reactions from terrified people can conjure in the imagination of the viewers is often far more powerful than showing exactly what it looks like.
Not sure, to be honest. Kinda wanted to have it be episodic, but perhaps with some sort of overarching plot. But they definitely fight vamps, werewolves, demons, ghosts, etc. All the supernatural entities and monsters. That said, I *did* leave this up to the imagination on purpose. Perhaps I can imply it's a demon, but never outright say it.
A pentagram carved into her skull or into her skin? The reader will definitely want to know why the monster targeted these people. What's the relationship? The scariest monsters are those that do not present as monsters. A thing carrying a lot of hidden hate inside.
Her forehead. I'm thinking that they bound this monster or entity, and when it escaped, it was angry and killed them. Was thinking a Jinn, wherein they kept it bound so they could make wishes, but not quite sure. I kinda wanted to go the mystery route, where it's ambiguous, but honestly, I wanted Dante and Chibuike to be monster hunters, so there's vamps, werewolves, and such in this world.
Lol, wish I could do something absurd like that. But I dunno, I want something scary and mysterious, but I'm really having trouble with what exactly I want my monster to be, especially since this is an episodic series, so this creature's demise will occur in the pilot episode. Maybe I'm overthinking it. Keep the intro vague and mysterious, but later on, imply that we're dealing with a demon, or a Jinn. If it's a Jinn, it'd probably be some military guys found an amulet in Afghanistan, and brought it back to the US after realizing a genie is bound to it. They make their wishes and make all their dreams come true, but then the Jinn escapes, and they kill themselves to avoid becoming possessed by it.
I'm thinking maybe Jinn grants the amulet wearer's deepest desires/wishes, but there's always a catch. Maybe a guy wishes to be rich, and the cops show up to arrest him for an armed bank robbery. Maybe another wanted to be a world-class athlete, but they got busted for steroids. Realized it's not worth the cost, so guys tried to give it away, but it kept coming back. So, that's why they killed themselves?
The horror movie Wishmaster and it's sequels already had a plot of Jinn granting wishes with a catch. But I think it's okay if you want to write stories with Jinn since there is no copyright on Jinn plots. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wishmaster_(film)
I mean, I'm not really too concerned with being 100% original. Everything has been done, especially when it comes to supernatural entities. Really all in the execution, I'd imagine.
You could also go with the deceptive demon route. It merely convinces the character that it has escaped, which in some way allows it to actually escape. The reasons for suicide? Different for each character that does so, as they've each been spun a tale of doom unique to them.
