I have a story that is character focused and I wanted some feedback on my main characters so I know if and how I can improve them. So, here are some basic descriptions of the four main: Midnight: An orphaned fae that was taken in by the Wild Carnival. The right side of his body is human, the left is that of a humanoid wolf beast. He's kind, caring and polite but sometimes acts on impulse and has a sadistic side he tries to keep under control. He works in the "Haunted House" of the carnival where he pursues visitors. He has a rivarly with Match. When he learns of Vivien's murder he convinces the leader of the carnival to investigate the murder with Vivien's help. Vivien: A french/syrian girl that was murdered in carnival grounds. Her spite and anger prevent her from passing on peacefully so she haunts the carnival demanding they help. She used to be cheerful and optimistic but her brutal death has made her bitter and angry. Sometimes remnants of her old personality resurface. While initially cold towards the members of the carnival she warms up to them as time passes. She doesn't want to stop her murderer for revenge but because she fears they might hurt someone else. Moon White: The daughter of the leader of the Wild Carnival, and thus, the future leader. A serious and often in her own head kind of girl, she feels pressured by her legacy. At first she wants to just get rid of Vivien since she's sabotaging the carnival but comes around and decides to help her. Has horns in her brow and a pet bunny named Vanilla. Match: A witch boy with a ferocious rivarly with Midnight. He takes his job seriously but isn't afraid to joke around and relax. He loves studying the fae lands and laments that the carnival rarely goes there. He helps Vivien because he believes solving the murder is the best for the carnival and doesn't initially care a lot about her but this changes over time.
Those sound good, and the whole setup is interesting. But before you finalize the characters you need to know what the story is about—what's the central conflict they're all involved in? The characters are agents of the conflict, it defines important aspects of them. You need to plan out what role each of them serves in that conflict—which ones are allies of the main character and which ones enemies, to what degree, and in what ways. This is what's known as the character web. Figure out these relationships between them and you've got the basis of the story itself. And as you're developing that conflict and its various subtleties and complications, the characters will probably change, some a little and some maybe completely.
They sound interesting. You‘ve definitely made them unique enough that I‘m interested. However I would like to ask a question about Vivien. There‘s one thing I don‘t understand. You say she became bitter after her death, so why are you afraid of making her vengeful? I understand the motive of wanting to save others but that isn‘t how a bitter character would feel, is it? I think making her reject her own longing for revenge because she considers it wrong is an interesting conflict. And she can still do all this with the (main) intention of saving others. I just don‘t think a bitter person would only want to do this for others. There‘s just no way. Secondly why does she trust the other characters? If she is unable to physically interact with the world as a ghost, I understand that she needs help but what exactly forces her to choose these people. Is she bound to that place? Because a distrusting person would probably choose people they already trust to do this with, right? So why does she ask strangers for help?
Thanks! I do have an idea of how the plot is going to go. I'm having some troubles handling the development of the characters through the middle of the story so that's why I wanted some advice on them.
Thank you! To answer your questions: 1 I though it would be more interesting and less cliché if despite being furious she still had enough optimism in her not to want revenge because she believes it isn't worth it. That said, your comment gave me an idea for something at the end of the story so thank you for your accidental inspiration. And 2: I guess this is my fault for not adding an explanation of the setting, but normal people can't see or interact with Vivien. She also isn't bound to the carnival but everyone in it is some kind of supernatural creature. In fact in the past they used to be the Wild Hunt from legend. They run the carnival to harvest the emotions of the human that visit it which they use to fuel their magic. And as magical beings, they can see and touch ghosts as if they were real people so they are the best help she could find.
