I’m having trouble with making my plot work together, it seems like it should be broken up into two separate stories. It starts off here on Earth. My main character is trying to infiltrate a regime to retrieve secret documents and to destroy a train that’s transporting materials dangerous to other nations. He starts off by blending in with the population and attends a military parade (he shows up late, so he catches the second half of it). At the end of it however, he comes across this beautiful female Chinese soldier who had marched in the show. They somehow meet and begin talking in Mandarin (how and where this will happen I don’t know). They promise to meet again soon later in the day as the chemistry was all there. So at this point the main character is heavily distracted from the mission and he meets her later in the evening. She is spotted talking to the character by military personnel and they immediately arrest both of them and send them to a prison. The main character (“long story short”, as they say) then figures out how to break out, rescues the woman, and then completes the mission with her alongside. They barely escape the nation with military personnel and such doing everything they can to catch them. The main character is actually a leader of his own nation in the story and took it upon himself to perform this mission. This is where the story becomes strange, but I want to so bad have an element in here about Neptune. I’ve been fixated on that planet lately. So once they’re back at the home palace, the main character finds a wild idea (at this point, even know him and the woman have known each other for only a week, they have become so close due to recent events). He wants to travel to Neptune with her for a peaceful getaway and for exploration. The main character has a plaform/craft capable of traveling there and entering its atmosphere. Since the Neptune side of the story will be much easier-going since it’s for pleasure and exploration, I want such scenes in it. For example, drinking coffee early in the morning on Neptune with a stunning view of the clouds. Stuff like that. And yes the craft/platform (how it will look, inside and out, is still being worked on) can withstand the cold, the winds, etc.
This is what the main character in the woman see out the window in the morning while drinking coffee on the craft. Despite the advanced technology of the craft, it is still frigid cold in the room.
If I have this right, the OP wants to do an action-thriller story followed by a sci-fi pastoral retreat. There's no reason that couldn't work, but something worries me about the descriptions. I think it might be the usual problem of fantasy writers: we think the fantasy brain-clutter we all suffer with is interesting to the reader, rather than something they tolerate. Protagonist is onboard a Plot Device transporting McGuffins to the Antagonist. And It Must Be Stopped!!! For all the reader cares, it's the last gluten free pizza and Marvin needs to divert it to Table 27. Marvin unfortunately is a real creep around women, and there's a lady he finds stunningly attractive at Table 12. (He thinks) she invites him into the toilets, and when he follows her in a mop falls over into the doorhandle. While they're trapped in there, he's looking though the porthole window: another waiter is already carrying the gluten-free pizza! It will be there any second. So Marvin short-circuits the tampon vending machine to set off the fire alarm. Alarum within. But Table 27 get their pizza. And it's still warm. They give him a $20 tip. Marvin's on a roll now. He offers to take the stunningly-attractive lady out to the local Sealife Park... and she agrees! [fade to part 2]
I forgot to add, I do want romance at some point, but not sure when. The contrast is what is bothering me but I still want it all here. Very interesting post by the way!
Why not first rescue the woman, keep the heads low until things blow over, but then the Neptune mission comes up because the baddies are trying to throw a Kuiper belt object onto their least favourite nation!?
I can think of a lot of things you can do with this Neptune trip to fit it together with the Earth mission. All of them requires you to ditch some of the story elements you've established above. 1. Make it a part of the mission. Of course, you'd better explain why the "kidnapped" Chinese soldier is significant in all of this, then. 2. Make it a premise for a sequel. You can still write about it—just not now, not after but a paltry week after the presumably more serious Earth mission. 3. Treat it as an ending scene. Write just a single chapter of it or so. Bonus as foreshadowing for the sequel (see no. 2)! 4. Tell it before the Earth mission. This would write the soldier off from the trip. I don't want to talk about the bigger problem you seem to be having here, but I think @evild4ve's advice above sums it up pretty nicely.
Hmm and can #1 be done even if the trip to Neptune is more for leisure? Could it be both a “mission” and leisure? The Chinese soldier’s purpose is she becomes the main character’s girlfriend and wife (and Queen). When they meet, they quickly discover there’s chemistry between each other and fall in love. I really like the idea in your #2 And #4... can you explain more? Tell what will happen at the beginning of the story?
You could start with the Neptune story and tell the Earth mission as in flash-backs, triggered by some events during Neptune explorations. Possibly interweaving the two stories, as the main character learns during infiltration of the regime's plans for resource-excavations on Neptune. Going full circle telling how, during the Earth mission, the main characters defeated the regime's plans, stole the only available spacecraft and went to Neptune themselves. Or start with the Neptune story and let the main character have recurring dreams/nightmares depicting the Earth mission, as memories resurfacing from a former life/job.
I can't see why it wouldn't be possible! This has been done to death with other popular stories like James Bond etc. It might not be "feasible" as in real-world feasible, but it sure is gratifying for readers. Be careful of falling into the trap of making two-dimensional characters. If the sole purpose of your female character is to serve as the love interest of your MC, she has a close to 100% chance of turning into a flat, depthless character with one-sided personalities. It might be fun to write for you, but it might not necessarily be fun to read for your readers. No, I can't. It's your story. Write it yourself.
What do you guys think about using a real current/former female Chinese military officer as the side character? Or should not use actual people from the real world?
Really having trouble with originality. I love the ideas and input here but I need to figure this out on my own (as far as creating a plot).
A lot of my insecurities about whether my work is original or if it's just a rip-off of multiple popular movies/books went away as I matured and wrote more. I think it boiled down to gradually finding my own author's voice; my language style, my choice of words, everything that I do that I'm one hundred percent sure of must have been coming from deep inside my own gray gooey bundle of nerves, and thus cannot be the copy of something else.
