Character A and Character B have yet to meet. B has just entered A's store, A notices them, not only because of their sickly appearance, but because of the way they carry themselves. It sticks out to A much more than B's appearance. Besides the obvious--limp, hunch, or crab walking across the room--what makes a gait noticeable?
I often notice their speed. Are they stiff or relaxed? When I worked a store years ago I would notice if people were being hyper-aware of other watching them. Then you got the odd person who's trying too hard to not get noticed. They really do stick out.
If they're sickly, they might be shuffling / dragging their feet, and they might have their arms crossed and shoulder up. They also might appear overly relaxed because they're too tired to hold a stiffer posture, making them look sort of limp and floppy. They might noticeably lean on things, sigh, be rubbing their face/eyes (or whatever body part may be in pain), close their eyes for longer than a blink. I dunno if any of that helps.
We all notice things that are connected to deep bilogical needs (sex, surviving, threat, easy or possible prey...) or that signal power dominance status or change.
I notice a walk because I know someone else who walks that way. Sometimes with a guy I might notice he has a nice butt. What can I say, some buts are nicer than others.
Faltering? Shuffling? Slow and stiff? Some old people have this sort of unsteady step, like they're gonna keel over if someone so much as sneezes in their general direction, like they're feeling their path as though they were walking on slippery rocks instead of just a normal sidewalk or shop aisle. Maybe something like that? This would be hilarious, though!
Thank you. You guys gave me a lot to think about. I already had a vague idea but I was having trouble putting words to it, so this was helpful. Oh, jeez, just imagining this particular character doing that almost makes me want to add it in eventually. It would have to be further in, though, when the reader is able to have a better grasp on his character. I think it would make it funnier and that much more off putting when it happens.
That really happens. You just need a Finn and an Italian. We Finns have a personal space of about as large as a parking lot. Italians like to talk much closer. So when an Italian comes to talk to a Finn, Finn takes a little more distance. He feels like that Italian tried to slide between his flesh and skin. Italian feels that too long distance is uncomfortable. He comes closer. Finn feels unconfortabe. ”He's almost inside my nose!" He steps back. Italian steps forward. Finn steps back. Italian... So a Finn is making crab walk across the room - in the real world. It is a bit like that: A Finn - Public space 3-6m, Social space 1.2 - 4m, Personal space 1.5m - 70cm, Intimate space - less than a meter. An Italian - Public space 1-1.5m, Social space 1.2m-60cm, Personal space 80cm-2.5cm, Intimate space - less than 5cm. What is social but not personal for Italian is intimate for a Finn. And he starts to crab walk. Have a look at the photo about peoples waiting for the bus. https://finnishcrashcourse.wordpress.com/2016/02/16/personal-space/
Since they're in a store I'm not sure how noticeable their walking speed and such is going to be, but you could have them walk into a few things, maybe knock something over while doing so. That might get some attention.
