?

What Should I Do With My First Name?

  1. Keep Aaron

    2 vote(s)
    40.0%
  2. Erin

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Eren

    1 vote(s)
    20.0%
  4. Erynn

    2 vote(s)
    40.0%
  5. Other (please explain if selecting this option)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Marthix2016

    Marthix2016 Banned

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    What should I do with my Birth Name?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Marthix2016, Oct 23, 2018.

    Hi all, so this is a very personal topic but it is very important so I am seeking some advice to steer me towards the right direction with this. This is going to be long but I need to share every detail to get this right.

    My first name at birth is Aaron...I've had that name for 20+ years of my life...I've built a reputation and some unique nicknames with it. One unique nickname in particular I really like but it is prone to get used out-of-context sometimes. Also, I've spent a lot of money (probably in the thousands of USA dollars) over the past 5 years getting personalized autographs from my favorite actors and actresses. "To Aaron..." All cool and everything...but what I don't like about Aaron as a name is how commonly overused the name is. I know about 20 Aaron's in my personal life...isn't that ironic? There's Aaron A., Aaron D., Aaron P., Aaron T...etc. I really don't like that about my name, seems cliche.

    Also, Aaron's name meaning stands for "Mountain of Strength"...nice meaning but I've found that it has become my kryptonite...everytime I reach a high point of success or reach a career accomplishment, something really bad happens. I met my biggest lifetime hero in acting overseas in Europe and back home in the USA my mom passed away very unexpectedly from a brain aneurism...it was so weird because it happened on the exact same day. Started out best day of my life and then I received the news my mother passed away the same day in the evening...absolutely crushed me and knocked the wind out of my sails...polar opposites on the same day. Best day of my life and then the worst day of my life in one. Later on this year I was feeling better and feeling really good about myself in my career and then one day I became super depressed...I barely made it out of that funk alive...I felt like I somehow let my mother down by not spending more time with her because I thought there would always be a "next time". I have a super busy lifestyle with my job (100+ hours a week) and I travel a lot. My mother was always understanding of that. Due to work last year, I missed Christmas with her...first time ever I missed Christmas with my mother...and for some reason I felt like that was going to come back to haunt me and it did because she's no longer here now. I feel so terribly awful because of that. I got so consumed in my career I lost so much time with my family. I learned a valuable lesson from my mother's passing how precious life is and how short it can be. My #1 regret in life is last Christmas...my biggest mistake ever...and that was my mother's favorite holiday of all.

    Part of me feels like I need to change my first name from Aaron to something else that sounds similar but it doesn't start with an A but with an E. There are parts of my past...my former self...that I don't like...and I want to put those things behind me for good. By changing my name, I think that would make me feel happy. I know from friends and family how my mother loved the name Aaron and how excited she was when I was born. I would never want to disrespect the name my mother gave me but from what has happened since last Christmas because we didn't have it together...2018 has been an absolutely nightmare for me...lost my mother, I had a period of severe depression I barely survived, and I also got into a massive car wreck recently where I barely escaped with my life (my car got totaled and my airbag didn't even go off...defect in my car). I've had such a bad year and they've always happened after I've reached a very high point in my life this year. It's ominous...and I'm sorry to say it...maybe a bit of a curse too. It feels like for me I need to switch my first name.

    So I have been thinking if I ultimately do switch my name...it would have to sound similar to Aaron but start with E. For personal reasons, I like the letter E a lot and it stands for something to me. I've been considering what spellings are similar to Aaron? Or sound similar? We got Erin, Eren, Eron, Eryn, Erynn. Erryn and so on. Those are pretty much the choices unless anyone else has any ideas that start with E? I am a dude obviously so in your opinion if I switch to an "E" version of my first name...what would be best for a male and why? I'm really not a fan of Eron at all. I think I've narrowed it down to Erin, Eren, or Erynn. If I were ever to switch to Eren, for example, I hope people won't say I did it solely because the lead male protagonist of Attack On Titan has that name; I actually find that kinda cool...it's a name used before the anime came out. I've like the idea of having less common name...hence not Aaron but something with E at the beginning. For whatever reason, I've been drawn to Erynn but I've realized some have pointed out it looks feminine; I honestly don't see it that way 100% but get where people are coming from on that. Tough call on that. Whatever the scenario I love and appreciate all the name meanings each of the "E" spellings have.

    Ultimately, if you were in my shoes and all things considered, what would you do considering everything? Keep Aaron or switch to an "E" version of my name and, if so, which one and why? Please vote as well. Thank you in advance. This is an extremely important decision to make and I need honest help.
     
  2. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Let me just say this:

    If you hail from America, and there isn't a solidly founded, understood through matter of tradition (like marriage or divorce) reason to change your name, I would suggest you not do it. Not right now.

    Here's why:

    Right now, as we speak, I am having a very, very difficult time getting my "Real ID". You know what that is, yes? My difficulty comes in the form of my name being strange, both in the continental U.S. and also in Puerto Rico, my place of birth and current location.

    I have a hugely polysyllabic name. The kind of name that gave grade school teachers tongue cramps. I have seen people spell it in the most insanely ridiculous ways. My first name is Reinaldo. I have received mail addressed to Renzildo, Reginaldo, Ronaldo, Ronald, and all points in between. My last name is Fuentes. I've seen Frentes, Fauntain, Fountains, and all points in between. It's made a mess of my history of names showing up across my past.

    I don't have a second surname, as is traditional and de rigueur here in Puerto Rico and the rest of Latin America. I don't. I never have. I have only ever had a single surname, in the American fashion. Since coming here I have been argued with, told I was wrong, told I was lying, told I've got my head up my ass and disrespecting my mother (the second surname comes from one's mother), and every stupid, politized, agendaed piece of bullshit you could imagine. I should be prison. My guardian angel is working massive overtime.

    Now I have a bunch of documents that have the various versions of my name (one surname, two surnames, all the fucked up spellings) and Trump's new Police State isn't happy with that. I've spent weeks - WEEKS - at Obras Publicas (the hellhole office here where one takes care of such things), trying to untangle the Gordian Knot that is my name so I can get my Real ID and not worry about getting deported to some country to which I have no ties whatsoever.

    My heart goes out to every Asian American with a traditional name and the mess they must be dealing with as to which is the given name and which is the surname since their cultures put the surname first. Seriously, if that's you, this little Puerto Rico dude raises a fist of solidarity to you. I feel your pain.


    Just my 2p. I'm not saying your wish should be discounted, just that now, right now, this moment, is not a good time.
     
  3. Just a cookiemunster

    Just a cookiemunster Active Member

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    uhhhh.... Real I.D? What's that? I am going to google it. you are scaring me because my name is like a sentence. A long one. :meh:

    I don't know anything about Real I.D So no comment on that right now. However, Aaron I am sorry to hear about your tragedy and bad luck. You should totally do it! I had my name changed for a lot of personal reasons a some years ago, as well as my sister. We did got a lawyer and did it together. It was a simple easy hassel free process because the lawyer took care of everything and we pretty much just waited. The most annoying part is getting your new name changed on official documents and such. But I have no regrets. I am very happy with my new name. ^.^ I only wish I had done it sooner.

    Oh and Erynn to me does not sound like a girl. At least, I don't think of a girl when I hear it. I like the spelling.:bigsmile:
     
  4. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Personally, it doesn't sound like a good idea for a couple reasons. First, partial disclosure, my real name (Iain Aschendale is a pen-name) is somewhat unusual, so I've got a bit of understanding of what you're going through, but also what you might be putting yourself in for.

    I'm going to disagree with @BabyNayahi on the apparent gender of the new spelling. While "Aaron" is definitely male, I think I've known as many male as female "Erins". However, when I first read your post and saw the spelling of "Erynn" I assumed you were unhappy with (treading lightly here) the gender you were assigned at birth. This may have been influenced by your avatar, which looks female, but I find the spelling of "Erynn" to be distinctly feminine. When I google "erynn name" I also get first results saying it's a girls' name.

    Another thing to consider is the effect an unusually spelled name might have on your future employment prospects. Although it mostly affects people with "foreign" (i.e. non-European) sounding names, some studies suggest that people with unusual names are less likely to get called back for job interviews.

    Finally, think about the fact that if your name is spelled Aaron, you just have to tell people "I'm Aaron, with two As," if it's Erin, "I'm Erin with an E." If you go with your proposed spelling, you're going to spend the rest of your life spelling out your name to anyone who needs to know it, and see it misspelled more often than not.

    But it's your name and your choice. I don't know what line of work you're in, so an unusual name might be an asset in your profession, and walking around feeling dissatisfied with your name can definitely be a bummer. Hope this helps in some way.
     
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  5. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Best. Name. Ever. I'm totally stealing that.
     
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  6. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    I agree that the new spelling seems feminine to me.

    Aron with one A still sounds masculine, but I don't think I've ever met an "E" Erin that wasn't a woman.
     
  7. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

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    What about A-A-Ron?
     
  8. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    I believe that was one of the jokes OP was sick of?
     
  9. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

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    Oh. Haha. That's from a Key and Peele sketch. Missed it in the OP :)
     
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  10. NobodySpecial

    NobodySpecial Contributor Contributor

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    Don’t feel too badly; my last name has six letter and only one syllable. When I registered my last motorcycle the clerk had my drivers license in her hand and still managed to spell my name wrong.
     
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  11. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Old The Onion (can't find the original):

    Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia
     
  12. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    This is the second post on the topic you've made here, and I know you've posted on at least one other forum on the same topic.

    It feels like you're looking for a specific answer, one you haven't heard yet.

    I think it might be useful for you to spend some time to figure out what that answer is, and then give it to yourself.

    Really, it doesn't matter at all what a bunch of people on an internet forum think about your name or your name change... it matters what you think about it. So find the answer that will satisfy you, give yourself that answer, and move on.
     
  13. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I've merged the thread containing the poll with the original thread. In the future, just ask one of the mods or myself for help. I can add a poll to an existing thread.
     
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  14. Ashley Watters

    Ashley Watters Member

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    I am sorry to hear of your difficult experiences. The negative events in our lives overshadow the positive things because the emotions are usually more intense. They are difficult to manage and people do not know how to communicate with someone in trouble. It is easier to not say anything than to risk saying something wrong.

    As a person who often suffers frequent depression for months at a time, I have had many years that I wish never happened. My mother's health took years to decline. She lived into her seventies which was good for someone with her health issues. I was able to accomplish tasks she wanted done but my father never managed. She was too weak to open her eyes when I was last with her. She squeezed my hand weakly. Even so at the time of her death, I thought I had been able to cope well. Remembering my childhood brought back painful memories I had suppressed. My mental health took another nose dive. I thought that if I could change my life, I would be able to be normal. Changing my life only brought more hardship for me and my loved ones. The thing that rescued me was to write a story. I wrote about an event from my past where I thought I was in love with someone and that person was not interested. The person saw me as a friend and a sibling (still to this day). My character struggled against the same rejection. The emotions from that event helped me to write better than ever before. In the writing I was able to channel my fears. It gave me purpose. It made me accept I was a Romance writer.

    Ashley Watters is my pen name. There are at least six people with my real name in N.A. This fact has caused minor issues. Now my pen name is hardly unique and I struggle with that. The pen name has meaning for me as a Romance writer and I will try to keep it. Ashley is my real middle name. My real name was given to me by my mother and I would never change it. Even before finding out it was a common name, I struggled with it. It was easy to make fun of it for other children. If you need to change your name, even just the spelling, do it. I suggest, this action will not help you and you may regret it. What would your mother say if you think her opinion is important? My mother didn't just pick a name out of a hat. She chose with purpose.

    I hope you can work through your issues. I did not wish to overshare. You have my support whatever you ultimately decide.
     
  15. Just a cookiemunster

    Just a cookiemunster Active Member

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    I agree and disagree with Iain. First of all I have never met any type of male or female Aaron's in my life so I don't associate the name with a particular gender which means in a way my opinion does not count. Many here seems to think it sounds femenine so maybe it does to most. Just not to me.

    I agree and disagree on the job, spelling, and pronunciation situation. It's a well know fact about names and jobs. When I was changing my name my cousin specifically begged me to choose Mary Jane, Sally Hasen, Jane Doe etc anything as plain, simple, and American as possible or I wouldn't get a job. Those names were just not for me no matter how much I tried to conform. Long story short it CAN potentially affect if you are chosen for a job or not but in my case it has NOT effected me getting any jobs. I have worked at several without an issue. And my real name, which was chosen by by grandfather, is super foreign compared to Eyrnn.

    Futhermore, no one in the United States can say or pronunce my real name and I have to do a lot of spelling when making business phone calls. Has it effected me? No. I love my name and would never change it for anything. I knew what I was getting into and I purposely got in it with no regrets. Just weigh all of the pros and cons and decide which is more pleasing and beneficial for your life. :cheerleader: Good luck!
     
    Iain Aschendale likes this.
  16. Yona

    Yona New Member

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    ultimately what you do is all up to you! it does sound a bit like, to me, that part of the reason you may want to change your name is due to its attachment to your mother? of course there's a part that doesn't want to lose it for that very reason, but i was wondering if at the same time, you had that conflicting desire to change it 'because' of that as well?

    regardless, i feel like you might benefit from some therapy :) it's massively helpful to anyone, with or without some sort of mental illness.

    sometimes a change is what we need, though. maybe you could try asking people to test out writing it for you or addressing you with that name (like through text or smth), that way you can get a feel for it.

    best of luck :)
     

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