What was said: Up to you. What was meant: You are smart enough to figure it out yourself, why'd you bother to ask? What was said: Can you proof-read my story?
What was said: Can you proof-read my story? What was meant: Can you tell me how brilliant my story is and what a great writer I am? What was said: He was cute, I guess.
What was said: He was cute, I guess. What was meant: Oh man I really like him, I just don't want you to know that! What was said: You look great!
What was said: You look great! What was meant: You look like ten pounds of crap in a nine pound bag, but I won't say that to your face. What was said: Do I look fat in this dress?
What was said: Do I look fat in this dress? What was meant: You better tell me that I'm the most beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, stunning girl and I rock this dress! Or else. What was said: Just one more bite...
What was said: Just one more bite... What was meant: I am going to come back in ten minutes and get some more! What was said: Have you done Botox?
What was said: Have you done Botox? What was meant: You look like barbie, mate. What was said: Pass the salt
What was said: Pass the salt. What was meant: Oh god, this tastes like crap. Maybe some salt will make it taste better. What was said: It's a handyman's dream.
What was said: It's a handyman's dream. What was meant: I've got a really crappy job that I want you to do for me as a favor. What was said: I can't take this poor customer service anymore!
What was said: I can't take this poor customer service anymore! What was ment: I can't shop with you anymore Cindy, you have terrible taste in clothes! What was said: Oh what a nice statue, it's lovely.
What was said: Oh what a nice statue, it's lovely. What was meant: Oh dear god, is that supposed to be a portrait of me in Play-Doh? This is the last time I'm letting my 4-year-old niece do arts and crafts. What was said: Did you do something to your hair?
What was said: Did you do something to your hair? What was meant: That new haircut is ridiculous. You should consider finding a new hairdresser. What was said: You're a very good friend, but I need to figure this out on my own.
What was said: You're a very good friend, but I need to figure this out on my own. What was meant: I'm a martyr, bow before my selflessness. What was said: Have you tried this new herbal tea? It will be pleasing to your Chakras.
What was said: Have you tried this new herbal tea? It will be pleasing to your Chakras. What was meant: I don't want to hear more about your new age preaching so I'm trying to shut you up with tea. What was said: You have such a way with words!
What was said: You have such a way with words! What was meant: I'm actually impressed you just insulted my race, gender, and religion in one sentence, bravo! What was said: Have you been watching TV at all today?
What was said: Have you been watching TV at all today? What was meant: There is an imprint of your ass on the couch. What was said: That's an interesting idea.
What was said: That's an interesting idea. What was meant: Thinking clearly isn't your forte. What was said: I'll consider it later.
What was said: I'll consider it later. What was meant: I can't wait until we're alone so I can slap you. What was said: You make an interesting argument.
What was said: You make an interesting argument What was meant: A chair is probably smarter than you, but I don't want to cause a scene. What was said: I really love that color on you!
What was said: I really love that color on you! What was meant: It looks absolutely disgusting, but I value your opinion of me too much to tell you. What was said: Your newborn is so precious!
What was said: Your newborn is so precious! What was meant: I am now strongly pro-choice now. What was said: Congratulations on the job promotion to office executive, the best man certainly won.
What was said: Congratulations on the job promotion to office executive, the best man certainly won. What was meant:We both know I am the best man for the job. I enjoy watching this company crumble. What was said: You look adorable! Like a rabbit!
What was said: You look adorable! Like a rabbit! What was meant: The unfortunate way you look is my schadenfreude. Carry on, hehe... What was said: I suppose it's a matter of taste.
