Let's say Adam and Eve (just an example, didn't come up with something else at the moment) would talk about an apple in the 2nd person. Adam: Show you (me) what you hide behind your back. Eve: Nothing. Adam: Show you (me)! Eve: You (I) show you nothing! But you can have a bite... Huh? Is that how it would look like?
2nd person is uncommon but not entirely undone. I've read some *ahem* erotic (for research purposes you understand) stories written that way. You write it as a first or third person narrator with the reader as one of the characters in the story. That's why it works well for porn (also choose your own adventure books). So: You encounter a room full of orcs. "You murdered my family!" you cry as you raise your sword and charge the scoundrels. It only really works in that context though. If the reader isn't a character then the 'you' doesn't really work because it always seems to be directly addressing the reader rather than someone in the story.
In this case, you'd have to pick one character for the speaker and the other(s) for the one(s) being addressed. As in, How beautiful you were when the Lord God brought you to me! Here at last was flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone! Your eyes lit up at the sight of me; your hand reached out and took mine. "Eve!" I said to you. "You are Eve, for you will be the mother of all the living." How did I know that? It didn't matter. All that mattered then was that you said to me, "Adam!" and took me into your arms. To take the bit of dialogue you've set out, it'd be something like I said to you, playfully, never suspecting a thing, "Show me what you're hiding behind your back." But you said, "Nothing. I hide nothing." For the first time in my life, an uneasiness crept over me. You were playing the hiding game, yet you said you were not. I said, "Please, show it to me." And to my amazement, you said, "I have eaten of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. If to die means to be no more, then I am not dead. Look at it, my husband!" And you held out a fruit of that tree the Lord God told us not to taste. "Eat some, as I have," you said, "and be wise!" I expect you could go on to have Adam say, And then, O Lord God, I heard the sound of You walking in the garden in the early evening, coming to speak with us. For the first time ever, I panicked and hid in the bushes, and so did my wife. But You found us out, and meted out our punishment. You decreed banishment for us, and the sentence was just and right and merciful beyond what we deserved. But we were not content. Never again will we be content! Of course, this may just be another kind of First Person, but with a twist. That's why Second Person is so hard to do.
I have a piece up in the workshop (flash fiction) that's written in second person. People have said some good things about my use of the tense. Check it out if you'd like.
I agree that's first person, @Catrin Lewis. You can read the opening of Bright Lights, Big City at [] using the Look Inside feature. It's not dialogue heavy, but there's some. Really, for the example in the OP, there's nothing that would indicate first, second or third person, because "person" applies to narrative, not pure dialogue, and there's no narrative in that passage. If you want Adam to be your POV character and you're writing in second person, it would be: "Show me what you hide behind your back," you said. Eve shook her head. "Nothing." You couldn't let her get away with that. "Show me." "I will show you nothing! But you can have a bite..."
Second person, in my experience, is used to put the reader into the plot, it's like getting someone to close their eyes and imagine something as you're telling them a scene. It's used in Choose Your Own Adventure novels as well.
Thank you all, particularly Catrin, an awesome example indeed, and I agree not easy to write and read!
For the first time in my place, the Adam and Eve story was actually interesting to read. I grew up in church - you cannot imagine how familiar that story is to me. I really enjoyed that! Esp the eating of the fruit - innocence and such a sense of dread all mixed together, as if what Eve was doing was a good thing, and what she did was very human. Love her logic - well I'm not God. It's proof; God lied. Eat this fruit and see for yourself!
Other than the pronoun being "you", I actually have no idea what second person is and have never read any book written that way. I guess does the person referred to by "you" have to be the reader in order for it to count as second person??
I linked to a second person novel up thread somewhere... you can read the opening pages on Amazon. The "you" has to be the direction of the narration, if that makes sense? Like: I was tired of it all. "You can just come in here like you own the place." - "you" is in the dialogue, but the narration is still first person First person: I woke up that morning and had no idea my life was about to change. Second person: You woke up that morning and had no idea your life was about to change. Third person: Betty-Jo woke up that morning and had no idea her life was about to change.
So it's not that a character is addressing "you", but that whoever "you" is... (are?), "you" are the charac...ter... I'm confused. Is whoever "you" erm, is/are/whatever - "You" refers to the reader, or refers to another character? Or it can be either? Is there a narrating character speaking to "You"? The very idea of saying "You woke up at 8am" sounds like someone is saying that to you. I looked at your previous post for the link but the link isn't there. Seems the forum automatically blanked it. Maybe go back and try hyperlinking it? I tried to "edit" your post - not to actually edit anything - but just to see if maybe I could see the link inside still and it'd been converted into some Media thingy in square brackets and I'm not really savvy enough in code to figure out what that is...
Are you running adblock? It seems to delete Amazon links on this site. Try taking the spaces out of https ://www. amazon. com/Bright-Lights-City-Vintage-Contemporaries-ebook/dp/B004EPZ4KS "You" is the main character of the book in a second person story. So it's not referring to the reader, really, it's just using a different pronoun to describe the characters of the book.
Ah, but no. "Surely die" meant so dreadfully much more than mere ceasing to be. Satan is so clever . . . he never gives his victims all the facts.
That worked! Thanks Yes I have Adblock on my browser. So does that mean it's only me (or whoever's running Adblock) who can't see Amazon links on WF? eg. you can see the link just fine? I think maybe I get it. It's like talking to yourself? Like when you think, you might say to yourself, "You know better than that!" Rather than using "I". Reading the book sample now. I gotta say, first line, "You're not the kind of guy..." That has immediately thrown me off. Yes, I'm not. I'm a woman. I know the "You" doesn't refer to me but... it's weird.
The links aren't always great for me without adblock, but they work a lot better than they used to when I was running it.
Not disagreeing with you, but I wonder if Second Person always implies someone else standing outside the narrative who can address the protagonist as "you." But you're right, that outside narrator should not intrude him/her/itself as "I."
Yeah. All the crap and misery of human history. And the torment of being in a state where God is present only in His wrath (with credit to Michael Horton). Long as this box is open, I've got a flash fiction piece in here somewhere that I did in Second Person. Don't think it got any votes in the contest, but the "you" of the piece is being tempted to commit an act he or she will greatly regret. The devil or their own thoughts? Who knows?
I think, as usual, narrative distance is different from person. You could have close second person (like in Bright Lights Big City) or a more distant version (like in the Choose Your Own Adventure) stories. In close second I don't see any signs of an ominiscient narrator.
I'm not normally picky with details like pronouns and tenses - I like first and third person equally and I hardly ever notice if something was written in the past or present tense, nor do I care even once I do notice. But second person...? The "You" jumps out at me every time and it's kinda jarring. Anyway, back to the thread topic, I guess dialogue would be the same as any other, except the pronoun is "you", like... You walk up to the bar, hoping for a quick drink, except the damn barman has decided to go out for a smoke. You roll your eyes and turn to look across the pub. That's when you notice the gorgeous redhead not three feet away from you, deliciously alone. Well, you have nothing to do anyway, and who wouldn't want a piece of that? You clear your throat. Smooth. "Hey there." She doesn't even look at you. A flutter of indignation rises in your chest. Bitch. You try again. "Could I get you a drink?" She glances at you. Raises her glass. Ice cubes slosh in an amber liquid. "Can't you see I have one?" "Hey, I just want to get you a drink." "And I'm saying I already have one." You grit your teeth. You can't let this one go. "You'll need another one soon." "Smooth, aren't you?" Her glass bangs on the bar and suddenly she's walking away. "Hey, wait!" you shout after her. Your feet take you to her in two easy strides and you yank her around by the elbow. "I said-" There apparently isn't anything more to say, because all you can do next is scream as pepper burns through your nostrils and sets fire to your eyes. So, accurate portrayal of second person? First time I ever tried. Was just having fun lol.
BayView, it was fun reading your dialogue. It is hilarious, actually. I noticed that as more I read it as less I find 2nd person unusable.
