It sounds to me like you're not actually asking what we think your character would do, but more just to validate your choice of what your character would do. In which case, there doesn't seem to be much more of a point in continuing the conversation.
Sorry to say, voices can change in minutes even. Mood - excitement for example - can change the tone, pitch and sound of a voice even. Damage to the voice box [smoking, disease, illness] as well. Myself for example - having lived in a variety of places and having a lot of wide spread family and relatives I don't have a concrete accent. Most of the time I can sound north American with not a single hint of an accent [I taught this to myself as a kid, growing up in a sticks town my accent was a constant thing to be teased/bullied about]. Yet I can switch to a very pronounced British/Irish accent with the ease of someone snapping fingers [it always shocks my colleagues when they first hear that switch because one would never guess I have such an accent] which becomes the thicker the more frustrated I get - sometimes to the extent I can't understand myself the accent is so pronounced. On the note of damage to the voice - I suffered pneumonia in both lungs as a kid because the family GP was an idiot plain & simple [said I had the flu]. This led to a rash of upper respiratory infections. Most of the time I have a normal voice but the longer I speak for extended periods of time the rougher / raspier it will sound. And forget it if I have a dry th Add to the fact military experience - teaches you how to get your voice to carry [so be powerful] - and I can drop my normal level [female] voice into a borderline [deep] baritone. Example I was working with a nurse at my job all day long last month - 8 hr shift - and we were the last people in the office. I went to check something, came back, and got on the phone to call a patient... less than five minutes later the nurse [who had heard me speaking all day long let me remind you] came up and asked who was the man that was in here speaking. After blinking a few times and trying to figure out what guy I said the only one that had come into the room and started talking was me ... she went away cursing my "low voice". And that's just me. Colds, allergies, etc., can likewise change the voice - someone with a stuffed nose rarely sounds the same as they do when not stuffed up. I think get rid of the MC copper being told and just have the bad cop finish the job - kill her or kidnap her again. Then have the MC figure it out afterwards. As you have it now if she tells the MC and he does something to intervene the story is over by chapter 2.
Okay thanks. But I'm sorry but I am lost here. What do you mean have the bad cop finish the job, and have the MC figure it out. Or killer or kidnap her again? What job are you talking about in my story? Kidnapping her again, doesn't really do anything, her being free is not a problem, is it?
You just said that one of the cops who is bodyguarding her is one of the kidnappers yes? The way you have it set is this: She tells MC, MC intervenes, story is over by chapter 2. And really it will be because if you get rid of the threat by chapter 2... the story is just I don't know a love affair between MC and the woman that is dragged for 30 chapters. Add a twist. She can't ID the cop who is a kidnapper, cop either kidnaps her again or kills her, MC finds body / discovers she's missing and has to go from there... it adds more than the impression I am getting from your summary.
Oh I see what you mean now. She is under police protective custody and she tells the MC who is also a bodyguard, that the other bodyguard is bad, yes. But that doesn't happen till about 30% into the story. It's a screenplay, not a novel, so I do not have chapters. What's really going on in the story, is that the kidnapping was a ruse to trick other characters for other reasons. The woman kidnap victim, is actually working with the kidnapper and the kidnapping was fake and staged, to fool another character in the story. However, both her and the kidnapper were not counting on the police discovering where the fake kidnapping was taking place, so now she has to be play the witness. So the police are guarding a fake kidnap victim, who is a fake witness working with the kidnapper. So she screws up the trial later. She only tells the MC, that the other cop is bad as part of her plan on how to ruin the whole case and point the finger in other directions. But I am wondering if her plan would logically work cause she would have to anticipate if the main character cop would believe her or not, to the point where he would do something about it.
You're not going to be surprised to hear that I think that none of this, from the fake kidnapping on, is going to work.
Okay thanks. I have restructured a lot of the story where a lot of the problems were not debunked though, and have come up with a much more workable way for the crooks to get away with it, such as lying in court and playing dumb, like I talked about before in a previous thread. Why would it not work now? I also got other people's opinions, about the cop discovering the kidnapping being a coincidence, and the majority said they have no problems with it because they have seen stories with just as big of coincidences in, and I am not taking it too far. So I feel I guess I should go by majority rules, but yes I would like to make it work for more people of course.
What I feel that you're forgetting here is that since the woman is lying, she can lie. The cop wasn't actually the kidnapper, right? So if the cop has a tattoo, or some other clear identifying feature, she can lie and say that she saw it when she was kidnapped. His sleeve slipped up, his glove slipped off, whatever, and she saw the tattoo. It doesn't matter if your infinitely smart villain would really make that mistake, because, again, she's lying.
The coincidence of the cop coming upon the kidnapping is the least of the issues. The stupidity (edited to clarify: stupid villain) of your supposedly smart villain in essentially creating evidence against himself and giving to the cops as a gift, is the issue.
Okay thanks. But by giving the cops a gift, I assume you mean the witness. Well since the cops barged in on the kidnapping, when the villain was not planning on it, the cops took the witness away. The villain was not planning on giving the cops a gift on purpose. The evidence was forcible taken from him and the witness now is desperately trying to salvage any type of success of ruining the case. Is this what you mean by the villain giving the cop's a gift? Cause it wasn't intended and it was taken from him, without it being part of his plan at all. He didn't create the evidence on purpose, if that's what you mean.
