Again, see my earlier comments about not using dialogue tags - you can write 'he laughed' after dialogue as an attribution or description, but NOT as a dialogue tag. I can't understand why people are STILL clinging to this idea...
I agree with Kallithrix about using character actions to suggest who is speaking. Rather than just putting "said" after everything. If you descrice a character action in the sentence preceding dialogue that makes it obvious who is talking. For instance: Janet choked on her coffee, "He said what?!". Just use "said" particularly when the dialogue is very short (just a few words) when it's not obvious who is talking. If you find yourself using "said" too often that that means that your characters voice isn't unique enough, either and or you're not describing the scene well enough. And you should only use derivatives of "said" when you need to. Not just when you think you've said "said" too many times (harr harr).
Well, no. I don't think I'm an exception to any rules. I'm stating things I've read that are published and my reaction to those phrases. It worked for those authors. I've not had to use either in my writing yet, as my dialogue hasn't used either emotion.
I don't really see the harm unless you literally have every other bit of dialogue ending with stuff like "he laughed" or "he cried out". I think the real problem, like you mentioned is using dialogue tags after every spoken sentence, and using a different verb every time because you don't want to be repetitive. That becomes distracting. On the other hand, using "he laughed" by itself in a series of dialogue to denote someone laughing... I don't really see that as bad. Like many have said in this thread, a lot of this is opinion. I think the only thing that all of us universally agree on as a good tactic is not to use a different dialogue tag after EVERY sentence.
Again... I think the problem is using them too much. Saying you should never use that at all is silly IMO. I can point to books where it was used and the publisher didn't immediately throw the MS away in a trashcan and burn it because it was that bad. However, it's a lot rarer to read a book where every other line of dialogue has that kind of dialogue tag.
Use said. Use anything else sparingly. And I agree about the use of tags that don't make sense, as Kallithrix stated above. To me, this doesn't work: "Come over here," Callie giggled. Whereas this does: Callie giggled. "Come over here." The first implies that she's actually giggling the words, which is silly. The second makes it clear she giggles, then speaks. If you use an act like giggling as the tag itself, you get an unworkable result in many cases.
@Steerpike: That makes sense. Although I think it's kind of like how some people flip about over the usage of the phrase "I could care less." when they really mean "I couldn't care less.". A reader is going to understand what is going on and they aren't going to go "wait, the dialogue tag was placed after the sentence spoken, that means they giggled the words! That makes no sense!" because no one ever literally giggles spoken words. There is no ambiguity over what is meant though. It would be like if I said that your latter example doesn't work because you don't know who said the phrase. You know that Callie giggled, but you don't know who said 'come over here'. Of course, this is a stupid argument because people make the assumption that because Callie appears in the same line as the dialogue that it was her that said it. Just like how people will make the assumption that words were actually said before/after giggling and the phrase was not actually 'giggled'.
I use "said," except when I want to clarify that something was shouted or asked, etc., as necessary. I wouldn't go through my story and think, "I've used 'said' too much; I ought to change some of these dialogue tags." I would use different dialogue tags only when the story calls for it, which is sparingly. And I agree that dialogue tags that don't refer to speech shouldn't be used. Maybe authors have done this in the past, but this doesn't mean it's correct or that it works. You can convey that someone is laughing or weeping as they're saying something without making it look ridiculous. Look at this: "I wouldn't know anything about that," he laughed. "No, sir." "He didn't even come home last night," she wept. vs. this: "I wouldn't know anything about that." He laughed. "No, sir." "He didn't even come home last night." She wept as she said this, her words becoming increasingly garbled with her sobs. There are better and worse ways to convey the information.
I love reading all of your advice. I've talked to people who like to use different words instead of said, but I always thought it confused the reader. Yay, I was right! I do have one question though. I've noticed that some authors use, said Lauren, instead of Lauren said. Is that just the author's preference?
Yeah, I think so. I prefer 'Lauren said.' 'Said Lauren' sounds old school. Look at 'said I' or 'said she.' Sounds weird, doesn't it?
I was told by a literary agent that trying to replace "said" is a really terrible idea. It is invisible to the reader, and using other words only has a negative effect. It breaks up the flow of the piece and is, generally speaking, the sign of a novice. Don't get bogged down trying to use fancy words where they aren't needed; just tell the story. The only time you should use another word, really, is when expressing a significant emotion or action. Otherwise, keep it simple. In fact, I followed that advice and the quality of my writing soared. It's like one big obstacle had just been blown out of the way.
Okay, thanks! In the book I'm reading right now the author uses said before the name. I didn't notice it until the 3rd chapter. But it's fantasy, so I'm guessing she wanted a more fairy-tale feel to it.
Probably just author's preference, but it also depends on where you want the emphasis of the sentence to be - 'said Lauren' puts more emphasis on the name, which might be appropriate if there's more than one character the dialogue could be attributed to, so you're specifying that it's one character as opposed to another. Or you could want the name second in order to set up a relative clause or line of description, as in 'said Lauren, while she painted her nails.'
You present to us a great resource for bad writers. It is not possible to "laugh" a sentence. It is not possible to "demean" out a sentence. It is not possible to "chuckle" out a sentence. Said, asked, shouted, screamed. Going beyond these four (and the latter two should be relatively rare) is usually a bad idea. Edit: Also "whispered." Basically anything that's a mode of speaking I think is fine (but should still be used sparingly), anything that's not is not good.
You cannot giggle a phrase. Try it; you will sound ridiculous, and incoherent. Try to giggle, "I think I love him." That is not the same as giggling before or after you say the phrase. The same goes for verbs like sobbed, choked, grunted, cackled, whistled, hissed (unless you are Slytherin's heir, and speak a language comprised of hisses), hummed, etc. Many other verbs, though possible, are a stretch. You may be able to moan words, but it is far more likely you moaned before or after speaking. The purpose of a dialogue tag is, quite simply, to identify who is speaking. This is an important distinction. The first example attempts to use "giggled" as the verb in a dialogue tag. A dialogue tag is a pert of the sentence containing the dialogue fragment, and is usually connected to the dialogue fragment with a comma. The dialogie tag identifies the speaker. The second example is a separate sentence, and is called a beat. A beat is an action by the speaker, placed before, after, or between dialogue fragments. It provides context to the dialogue, and indirectly serves to identify the speaker. The verb in a beat need not be vocal in any sense. Your speaker may look down at his feet or blush, indicating embarassment or evasiveness. She may take a drag off a cigarette, to give herself a moment to think of a good lie. Beats are a powerful tool for writing dialogue, but you won't realize that power if you confuse beats with dialogue tags.
not necessarily, ive used all and seen all used successfully in published novels, for example: He chose to demean the excited child. "You don't have a chance boy." The hero chuckled. "And what will you do without your hands?" "I think I really like him." The girl tittered with her friends, spying the boy in the distance.
None of those count. They're separated, and rightly so, by periods. Try putting "said" in place of your words. Doesn't work. If you want to talk about what people do between speaking, you may wish to start your own thread.
One of the things often overlooked is that you generally use "said" with a noun or pronoun to identify the speaker. If you don't need to identify the speaker, you can leave off the "s/he said" entirely. Such as when you have someone talking to themselves, when you have only one side of a conversation (for example, someone speaking into a phone) or when you have only two characters present and it's obvious from context who's talking. --- This is my personal peeve, don't say "said, adverbially". Use a verb that conveys what you intend. Sue said, excitedly, "We're moving!' Sue exclaimed, "We're moving!" Punch up the verbs, not the adverbs.
None of those is being used as a tag. It would look stupid to write: "You don't have a chance, boy," he demeaned at the excited child. I'll grant that there are some exceptions. I've seen Raymond Carver (which is weird, when you think about it) use some variants effectively, but then again, he's Raymond Carver. The only other somewhat contemporary good writer who uses variants I can think of is Jhumpa Lahiri; when she uses them they tend to detract from otherwise very good prose.
OH, so disagree... you've just gone back on everything we've all just agreed about not using said bookisms! DON'T punch up the verbs used as dialogue tags, punch up the DIALOGUE.
fair enough, although i have seen words other than your four words (said, asked, shouted, screamed) used successfully. example: "I will not take no for an answer," the king bellowed from across the hall. "I don't care what you think," the bully snapped. "I didn't find it funny," he replied. But yeah I understand them being used too much is annoying, generally I use said, asked-and its alternatives at times- as well (or if its a conversation between two I just have the dialogue and nothing else) however I think using words like roared, yelled, explained, demanded, responded, etc are alright to use every once in a while.
Instead of doing said or whispered or exclaimed do an action. Example:"I didn't mean it," Gina desperately tried to avoid my accusing eyes. (Sorry about the crappy example but I'm tired today.) Using actions kind of gets a feel for the mood just as much as whispered, complained or yelled does. It also stops repetitiveness. Hope that helps a bit
^ In this case it should be: "I didn't mean it." Gina desperately tried to avoid my accusing eyes. That works, but it's not a dialogue tag.
