1. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California

    Who Killed Toby Shaw?

    Discussion in 'Role Play Discussion' started by Commander Caty, Apr 10, 2017.

    Story: When the body of local college student, Toby Shaw is found murdered in his own home, panic spreads like a wild fire. Toby was a popular but troubled young man and so the number of suspects is enormous. Toby's close friends are determined to find out the truth behind Toby's murder even though it seems there are no answers to be found. Then another body turns up. The victim is one of Toby's friends, killed in a similar fashion, this murder just as brutal as the first. The violence of the murders leaves the citizens and the members of the police force stunned. The quiet little town that had once been peaceful soon becomes a place of fear and uncertainty. Who could be responsible for these hideous crimes? Who will be next?

    Name:
    Age:
    Job:
    Appearance:
    Personality:
    History:
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2017
  2. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    Name: Desiderio 'Desi' Boon
    Age: 19
    Job: Busboy at Chef's Diner/college student at University of Washington

    Appearance:
    He's about medium height and is very thin. His skin is slightly tan and he has bright blue eyes. Desi has wavy black hair, which he always wears tied back. Desi has the top cartilage of both ears pierced and a pierced eyebrow.

    Personality:
    Desi can be blunt and offend people. He doesn't mean to be hurtful, he's just a bit socially awkward and doesn't even realize he's being offensive. He just says whatever pops into his head at any time. It stems from his crappy upbringing and his parents never really teaching him much about proper social behavior. Desi is something of a drama queen and often gets himself into situations and will play the victim because he just wants someone to step in and save him.

    History: Desi's family situation was difficult. His parents were not financially well off. They struggled to provide for Desi and Desi was often a witness to their lengthy screaming matches. Desi was eleven when his father died in a car crash. His mother, devastated by the loss of her husband, took to drinking. Desi was removed from his mother's care and sent to live with his grandparents when he was 12. While his grandparents never mistreated him and were wonderful to him, he craved his parents' love. The loss of both parents left a deep painful wound that never really healed.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2017
  3. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    If anyone wants to toss me some ideas as to how I can develop this a bit more, I'd be super grateful. Lol. Because it seems I suck at this.
     
  4. Erik-the-Enchanter!

    Erik-the-Enchanter! Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2012
    Messages:
    2,517
    Likes Received:
    142
    Location:
    LA, California
    I would not say you suck at this, if I wasn't in my own RP and super busy then I would consider joining yours. I would just suggest gauging the atmosphere next time. There are a limited amount of roleplayers and two or three active RPs going on right now, so that's probably why yours hasn't picked up. But don't be discouraged, I've had some absolute duds in the past, lmao. Before you post an RP it's always good to join a RP, so that everyone can see your writing and you can make bonds, and when you do make an RP people might feel more curious. I hope I helped you out, sorry if I rambled too much!!!
     
    Commander Caty likes this.
  5. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    if anyone's interested, I added a bit more info to this. I would love to bounce some ideas around with some people. :meh:
     
  6. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    I'm in the process of completing the opening scene but I'll be done soon. Once I'm done I'll post it up here. :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2017
  7. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    I've finished the starter for the story so if anyone is interested please check it out. :)
     
  8. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    Intro is done. Please check it out if you're interested.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2017
  9. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    I would really love for someone to check this out. Or if someone could toss some ideas around on this thread just so I can learn what I can do to make it better. That would be super helpful. :)
     
  10. big soft moose

    big soft moose All killer, no filler. Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    5,841
    Likes Received:
    5,204
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    I don't think its anything you've done or not done - the whole section feels dead on its ass lately
     
    Commander Caty likes this.
  11. sprb_skrbblz

    sprb_skrbblz Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm in the picture... look close...
    Maybe a couple more details...? Time period, and what role we would play... And perhaps some NPC's and a visual of the town/city/whatever have you... At least, those are some things I'm looking for right now that might get me to join your game
     
    Commander Caty likes this.
  12. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    It's set in modern day Seattle. Basically you would be playing friends of Toby's who are trying to solve the mystery of Toby's murder. They're mostly students at University of Washington, except for the few who don't attend the university.
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2017
  13. sprb_skrbblz

    sprb_skrbblz Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm in the picture... look close...
    Okay... if the mod approves it, and at least 2 others join in, you'll have me too... I assume you have a few non-playables to lead the game?...
     
    Commander Caty likes this.
  14. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    Please do! I'll accept anyone who's interested.:) I do have a few npc characters that will come into play as things progress.
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2017
  15. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    I really hope to get more people interested in this. If anyone else is interested in joining please let me know. :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2017
  16. sprb_skrbblz

    sprb_skrbblz Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm in the picture... look close...
    I only remember a couple of people who posted when I was on here in past times... most are mods and the one regular member I'm gauging his availability to participate...
     
    Commander Caty likes this.
  17. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    NPCS

    Name: Micah Wilde
    Age: 23
    Job: college student/cashier at a grocery store
    Appearance: Micah is not exactly striking in appearance. But he's not unnatractive either. He has light blonde hair and dark brown, almost black eyes. He doesn't really fuss about clothing style, often opting for plain t shirts and jeans. He tries to look neat and well groomed but he doesn't much care about what's fashionable. The only accessory he always wears is a silver necklace with Aztec designs on it. It was given to him by his father on his sixteenth birthday.
    Personality: Micah is not the type of person to let loose. He's organized and likes control, always follows the rules and doesn't like spontaneity. He obsesses over his school work and his grades to the point of making himself sick over it. He constantly needs to be in control. Micah loves his friends though, even if they are completely opposite of him.
    History: Micah grew up in Seattle, the oldest of four kids. His parents were divorced at an early age. He ended up staying in Seattle with his mother and three younger brothers. He was seven at the time. Micah's mother was not the most attentive woman to her children. Micah was often left alone to take care of three younger brothers while his mother coped with her depression over the destruction of her marriage.

    Name: Braden Hamada
    Age: 21
    Job: student/beach lifeguard
    Appearance: Braden is of Japanese descent, so he has all the features that go along with that. He wears his straight dark hair short and unstyled and if it were up to him he wouldn't bother wearing clothes at all and so he mostly walks around at home au natural, much to his room mate's annoyance.
    Personality: Braden is Toby's room mate and he's constantly inserting himself in Toby's life in an attempt to steal some of Toby's lime light. Obsessed with his reputation? Definitely. He is constantly trying to one up everyone in terms of being better. Better looking, more charming, smarter, funnier, he wants to be all these things. More than anything, he's determined to free himself from his traditional Japanese parents' pressure to conform to their wishes.
    History: Braden was born in Los Angeles, California to traditional Japanese parents. His parents pressured him to excel in school, often punishing him harshly when he didn't achieve perfect marks. When Braden was sixteen, he ran away from home for a week after his father punished him one time too many. For a whole week, he slept on a park bench until eventually, cold and hungry he came home to his parents who, to their credit, never mentioned it again. When Braden graduated top of his class at seventeen, he immediately applied at any out of state schools he could think of in order to get away from his parents.

    Name: Kenzie Patrick
    Age: 20
    Job:student
    Appearance: Kenzie is a plain girl. She is a bit on the short side and while she's not fat, she's definitely not thin either. Her hair is long and chestnut brown, often worn loose down her back. Kenzie doesn't dress sexy, she's what most people refer to as a good girl. She doesn't wear anything that is remotely revealing. She has a very girly style.
    Personality: Kenzie is a good girl. She doesn't like to do anything wild or break rules. Some people would call her naive. Kenzie never dated Toby because he was never interested but Kenzie was secretly in love with Toby, positively obsessed with him. She would have done anything to go out with him.
    History: Kenzie is the youngest of three, all of them girls. Due to this, Kenzie often felt like an outcast in her own home. Her sisters were prettier than her, smarter than her, better in every way. So Kenzie felt she had to work extra hard to gain approval.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2017
  18. sprb_skrbblz

    sprb_skrbblz Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm in the picture... look close...
    Name: Tremaine Wilson
    Age: 19
    Job: college student athlete (looked after by generous alumni who appreciate the game of basketball)
    Appearance: tall(6-5)... wiry frame(about 180 lbs)... milk chocolate skin tone... college barbers take turns cutting his hair to brag about who's signature is fresher, so his style varies, but the goatee stays... most times he wears designer sweatsuits and the latest tennis shoes(paid for by the alumni), but he cleans up nice for charity events he attends as payback for alumni assistance, wearing a suit when necessary(still paid for by the alumni)
    Personality: Tremaine is well aware of his high probability of playing pro basketball, so he "plays the game" to a T... though he accepts handouts, he generally keeps his nose clean(and in the books), enjoying the generally quiet Washington state... he's balanced, so you get equal parts of humor and seriousness... moved by the generosity he's received, he'd give you the shirt off his back (if it would fit you)
    History: Tremaine is from Northern California and grew up poor, both parents died in a fire when he was twelve... not the most intelligent, but he studied hard(with pretty tutors) in high school, earning a 3.83 gpa to actually qualify for the University of Washington... third eldest out of eleven children, he originally planned to go to the NBA draft after one year of college,(requirement for playing in the NBA) but his big sister(who raised her siblings when mother and father died) convinced him to stay in school at least one more year... his social media buzz got him recognized by various scouts and agents, so from there he attempts to forge his brand and eventually get his family a better life
     
    Commander Caty likes this.
  19. sprb_skrbblz

    sprb_skrbblz Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm in the picture... look close...
    Who's Tristan?
     
  20. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    Oh whoops. I meant Toby. Lol. I didn't even notice I did that.
     
  21. sprb_skrbblz

    sprb_skrbblz Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm in the picture... look close...
    Ahhh, so do I post from the morning after the party?...
     
  22. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    Yeah, morning after the party.
     
  23. sprb_skrbblz

    sprb_skrbblz Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm in the picture... look close...
    Okay, I posted something on the story...
     
  24. Commander Caty

    Commander Caty Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2017
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    California
    I accidentally posted my reply before it was complete. I'll finish it tomorrow though.
     
  25. Rogonippo

    Rogonippo New Member

    Joined:
    Thursday
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi ! I am new here ! I've spent a lot of time on the internet looking for RPs and I would really like joining the game. No worries Commander Caty you don't suck at this. Actually I really enjoyed reading the back story. Your writing is fluent and it felt adapted to the stream of my thoughts while I was reading it. You managed to entice me to join the game and even to register on the forum !

    I am going to think about a character this night and send it to you via MP tomorrow.
     

Share This Page